Hendrixson, your wife has no idea how lucky she is to have someone who does everything and loves her unconditionally. If it's true that she is staying in the marriage b/c it's easier and more convenient than being divorced, neither of you will ever be happy. There are many reasons to stay together, convenience is not one of them. More importantly, the fact that she is uninterested in sex, activities, or anything else where you are concerned, leaves very little left to hold on to. If I can help further, feel free to message, ok?
Hello everybody =) I'm a 23 year old female living in America. So, here is my story...
I met a great guy and we took things slow. By time I was ready to give up my virginity, I was very keen on being safe and being comfortable around him - inspecting him and everything, checking to see if he was "normal." So, during the second time we had sex, there was a moment *not to get into details* where his protection came off and I guess that's when it happened.
About three weeks later, I was sick (sore throat, fever, cough...) and discovered a little bump "down there." I called him on the phone, crying, asking if he knew anything - he told me to rest assured, that it's nothing. Sadly though, I went to my OBGYN who took one look and said, "looks like you got herpes." A culture test confirmed that I had HSV2. I remember sitting in the doctor's office thinking that I deserved this and I had a regretted everything that happened in the past few months. I walked back to my car, called him on the phone, hysterically crying this time, that I had HSV2 and he should go seek medical treatment.
For about a few weeks, I avoided everything and everyone. I was pissed and didn't want anyone to see me crack. But the more research I did, the more distant I felt from my dark cave: up to ~80% of Americans have HSV1 and ~20% have HSV2, and it's largely asymptomatic transmission due to shedding, and so on...
It's been a little over 2 years since I received the diagnosis. I'm still friends with the guy who gave me Herpes and there are days where the diagnosis pulls me back into my dark cave... but life goes on, not to sound deep/corny. I graduated early at the top 10% at my university and will be attending medical school in a few months. I realize that it's a story that I have under my belt, that having herpes does not define me, but is merely one little thing that is a part of an awesome person.
Btw, I'm so glad I found this site. We are not alone.
You are the one who has to live with yourself. Only your opinion of you matters. Opinions don't hurt as much as HSV.
With HSV comes great responsibility! How would you want to be treated? Will you feel good about inflicting another with this without giving them the knowledge you have to make their own life choice?
We are older a lot longer than we are young and with age comes retrospection! What will your portrait look like Dorian?
Yea, sadly and regretfully, I know. I am inching towards giving her papers, but I just hope that we can reverse it some how. I take my vows very seriously. Better or worse, is better or worse, but this is pure torture. Heck, she walks around naked and will not let us do anything all the time. I've never seen a woman have zero sex drive. The reason, I do not want to. She has it in her head it's all my fault, and nothing hers. She and her mother were talking about possible divorce when SHE is ready a few times already. I do not like failure, and I feel it's my fault that this failed. I am hoping it can be repaired, but again, I just see us slowly drifting away. My love for her is much stronger it seems than her love is for me; at least right now. Her mother has said several times, I should be lucky to have her due to all my medical issues. Who would put up with my medical issues. My wife, my MIL says, is a saint. Yet, I pay just about every bill, work every day, cook, clean and take care of the house. My medical issues are muscle/spine related. Nothing mental. Yet, the wife told the MIL it seems that I have a mental disorder. Therefore, I went to my doc and requested a psych eval. She asked why, I said my wife thinks I have a mental disorder. The doctor said I didn't, however, we went through the testing. Passed with flying colors. The only thing I have is chronic pain, no mental disorders. Showed my wife the report, she laughed and said, honey, I never thought you had a mental disorder. It's just so said.
I am sorry to hear what you and your spouse/family had to go through. I hope you are all better in mind, body and soul. You have a great partner there. I envy you greatly.