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Guest Anonymous

Valtrex and unprotected sex with uninfected partner

28 posts in this topic

HI, I have a very importaint question. I believe my girlfriend has genital herpes. She hasn't told me but I saw a couple bottle of valtrex with the instructions to take 1 pill (500 mg) daily. I have been having unprotected sex with her for 5 months while she (I believe) has been on Valtrex Suppressive Theapy.

My question is, is there a possiblility that I do not have genital herpes? If she is on repressive therapy and hasnt had any outbreaks (that I know of) am I at very high risk for having Herpes. I have not noticed any open sores and have just noticed maybe just a little reddness on the glans of my pennis and a little inflamation and swelling around the urethral opening, but maybe I am just looking too close, I never have really examinted myself before.

SO, if she does indeed have genital herpes and has been on Valtrex Suppressive Therapy, and we have been having unprotected sex for 5 months is there still a possibility that I am uninfected?

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

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I'll advice you to go to a knowledgable doctor in this field and get yourself tested.

Even on suppressives, infection is still at 10% or a few days a year. So you run the risk of being infected. There's no 100% foolproof method in prevention in the case of herpes.

Even with condom usage, it may not cover the area where a lesion or blister is located. Remember, this virus is spread by skin-to-skin contact.

However, herpes is non-fatal except in newborns and young children.

So please go for your tests and give yourself the peace of mind. Also, start using the condom.

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I would say that it is worth getting tested def. And a conversation with your girlfriend about not telling you that you need to wear a condom or even better tell you her health sitiation and let you make an informed decision yourself.

It is tough to tell someone though, so I empathize with your girlfriend but, that does not make the silence right.

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Yes, it is possible

Hi,

First, no one answered the question you came for, or rather, they buried it under stuff that will blow everything out of proportion. Keep a cool head, OK? It's the best therapy going.

So, yes, it is possible, some might event say likely, and especially if your girlfriend is on suppressive therapy, that even after 5 months of unprotected sex, you're not infected.

The way to know if you have genital herpes is to have an outbreak. The first one is usually the worst because it causes the most discomfort. It's hard to miss. The penis is discoloured and swollen for all kinds of reasons. If it rubs your pants funny, you're skin can seem different, especially if you're looking for it. Go easy on yourself. Pay attention to your body, but don't go imagining the worst.

Lesions usually appear like small, red bumps in a cluster. They itch and even hurt when they come in contact with your clothes or if you touch them (try not to touch them, and if you do, wash with soap and water immediately). They START with redness in the area they are going to appear, but redness can be caused by so many things that I wouldn't go blowing a gasket because of some redness.

After you have an outbreak, your body produces antibodies that testing can detect and conclude that you have herpes and what type. Until you have had an outbreak, or more than six months since the last outbreak, its impossible to detect.

The advice from the others is good advice. First, be upset that she hasn't told you (no trust) and be upset that she hasn't protected you (no love). For any relationship to work, with or without herpes, you need those two things. Can you repair your relationship? Of course you can. How? Talk about it. Tell her your upset that she doesn't trust you and that she didn't protect you the way she should have. If the rest of the relationship makes you happy (i.e. good sex, fun times, intellectually stimulating, similar past times, etc.) then forgive her for this and go on the right way, loving each other and trusting each other and most of all, talking to each other.

Herpes is a lousy reason to end a relationship considering that most important parts are the things I listed above, especially considering you're safer with someone who knows what they have, what to do about it and how to keep you safe, over someone who claims to be healthy, but doesn't really know!

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Im glad some directly answered the op but if ur using .meds, and a condom do u still owe them an explination? I mean anyone who uses or demands a condom also knows its not one hundred percent

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Anyone who demands a condom be used SHOULD know its not 100% effective in preventing the transmission of STDs OR preventing pregnancy. Anybody who knows their own status as a carrier of HSV SHOULD be up front and honest with their partner about it, whether theyre scared to tell, thinks its no big deal or not.

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Isnt that a bit redundant though if by using a condom to prevent STD transmission u have already come tl terms with the fact that u only get 99% protection?

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Well clearly if a person is willing to engage in protected (or unprotected sex) with a person whose status theyre unclear about, theres a certain amount of responsibility they must be prepared to accept for whatever outcomes may stem from that.

However, I think a lot of times few people have really come to terms with these outcomes at the time they lay down with someone...which is why you have new members who come on here every day feeling shocked, hurt, embarrassed, betrayed and in pain after trying to be safe but still contracting the Herp from someone who lied by omission or didnt think telling was all that important. Its one thing to be aware of the risks, its another thing to be living the reality of a person who is positive for H and knows first hand what things physically and mentally can come from that (prodrome, outbreaks, pain, fear, etc)

If someone knows their status as positive, then they should tell and give their partner a chance to to make an informed decision. I dont understand people who can do something so intimate with another human being (even if its just casual sex) and still say nothing all in the interest of getting their shit off. I agree to have sex with someone is to take a risk, but I also let any non H partner Im with know whats up with me prior to being intimate.

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If they feel entitle to explinations that exstensive they might as well persue abstinence or become members of a dating site that demands paper work proving someone is clean. Usage of a condom is a default concesson and if you need to elaborate furtheer why not just register with your sheriff's office on its STD registry? Why not wear a herpes medical alert bracelet? Is a birth ctrl company liable for chikd care of the one percent of women who it just does not work for? I think half the reason for condoms is you cant take anyones word for anything. Thats y ppl on the pill or with their cords or tubes cut still use condoms..

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If a person who knows they are positive for H is in a relationship with someone with whom they claim to share a bond cant be honest about their status (either because theyre afraid of rejection or they simply dont care) then yes, maybe they should practice being celibate for the time being being until they find themselves better equipped to do the right thing going forward in future relationships.

This isnt about extensive explanations and its not about scarlet letters. Its about being human to another human and giving them a chance to make an informed decision. Thats it.

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And what value could anyone find in that little tidbit if all the safety precautions fail anyways?

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The value they could find is in knowing that the person they are sharing their body and their lives with values this enough to offer them a choice as to whether they wish to take that risk or not.

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The amount of risk they took when they decided they were going to have sex and use cindoms and contraception is the same. No revelations at a fancy dinner date are going to change the odds. I would say make paper work mandatory but with false negatives even that isnt all its cracked up to be

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I dont really see how you can quantify any of that but, ok..

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If they feel entitle to explinations that exstensive they might as well persue abstinence

Dude, cut it out. If you have an STD, you are obliged to tell it to your future sexual partner before you proceed to intimacies. In many countries, not doing so makes you a criminal (at least in the case of HIV). It definitely makes you a deeply immoral person if you don't warn future partners in case of HSV.

I agree that having unprotected sex with a random person is riskier than having protected sex with an HSV-infected person on suppresive therapy. But the decision of what risks to take and what risks to avoid should always be made by the person taking the risk. In that case it's your partner and you have to inform them.

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Dude, cut it out. If you have an STD, you are obliged to tell it to your future sexual partner before you proceed to intimacies. In many countries, not doing so makes you a criminal (at least in the case of HIV). It definitely makes you a deeply immoral person if you don't warn future partners in case of HSV.

I agree that having unprotected sex with a random person is riskier than having protected sex with an HSV-infected person on suppresive therapy. But the decision of what risks to take and what risks to avoid should always be made by the person taking the risk. In that case it's your partner and you have to inform them.

we might as well just make testing mandatory. According to this site and a million others like 60 million people in the U.S. have it but 75 percent of those ppl do not know. Im not going to put my shit on blast and let all these ppl who are frontin about their own status attack me, ppl who are just clean period attack me, in addition to ppl who have it but dont know it cutting me down to size. Im not about to become a social pariah! Im not going to be persona non grata when there are millions of others hiding under tthe radar. What helps to fuel almost all stigmas is this age old numbers game. Im not exposing myself solo..

Oh yeah moron, in regards to the law i knew my diagnosis would give me a paper trail making me suseptable to legal consequences stimming from non disclosure to partners..

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Seems like Herpes is really the least of your problems. Unless youre talking about attending an orgy, why would you assume that telling the one partner you wish to be intimate with is the same as putting your status on blast for all the world to know? Who is attacking you? FYI You are in fact contributing to the stigma if youre willing to lie about your status (by omission) and placing ALL the responsibility for determining your status on your partner.

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Seems like Herpes is really the least of your problems. Unless youre talking about attending an orgy, why would you assume that telling the one partner you wish to be intimate with is the same as putting your status on blast for all the world to know? Who is attacking you? FYI You are in fact contributing to the stigma if youre willing to lie about your status (by omission) and placing ALL the responsibility for determining your status on your partner.
dude i think there mmight be a huge age gap between us.. are u even a male..? I am a young young guy, this is way early for me ti be taken out of the game and that dawns on me alot now. I can love and do but i like alot of fun primarily. I frown on orgies, three ways, swingin, open relationships. I am not kinky i just like hittin it unprotected. I like feelin it get squirted in. I cant help it if thats my thing. If i went around having these fuckin heart to hearts i think the ppl chuckin up the dueces would definitely expose me. The best im willing to ddo in my current setting is allude to dangers and strongly advise the usage of protection. Ill indicate there is a non life threatning issue but i will not elaborate any further. Right now my dating pool is already bottle necked, this diagnosis or the fact that the stupid medicine is not even gotdamn working is the death nail!!! If these statistics are right about who has it and probably has it i want a heads up to compliment mine. Im then dealing with normal people on the mainline and not degenerates from STD sites and etc.

P.S. I doubt my state punishes or the girl would even tell ppl i gave her something. No consequences at all. Yet I have broken no moral laws or legal laws. I have done none of that!! These are all the ponderings of a young man who has gone from a mighty oak to a doggone stump. So pls quit ridin my ass, thank you.

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Actually you are being morally unsound in your actions, and no, Im not a dude. I dont really see what age has to do with it...'old' folk like me still require lives that include intimacy..lol. If the fact is that you have to concern yourself with people ratting you out after you disclose then maybe you should try find more quality people to date. You know youre doing dirty..the fact that is you clearly fear rejection and stigmatization but thats what everyone has to deal with you has this thing. Having the talk with someone is incidentally something that will work in your favor as well, since people with HSV2 have a higher likelihood of contracting other stds.

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Actually you are being morally unsound in your actions, and no, Im not a dude. I dont really see what age has to do with it...'old' folk like me still require lives that include intimacy..lol. If the fact is that you have to concern yourself with people ratting you out after you disclose then maybe you should try find more quality people to date. You know youre doing dirty..the fact that is you clearly fear rejection and stigmatization but thats what everyone has to deal with you has this thing. Having the talk with someone is incidentally something that will work in your favor as well, since people with HSV2 have a higher likelihood of contracting other stds.
their quality has nothin to do with them running their mouths. Ppl talk, esp women. I dont have those type of relationships, just flings, hook ups, off n oners. I like those.. i dont have any other STDs either and u should explain why it makes it easier to catch others.. i do not fear the stigmas because i can defend myself, i fear a bottlenecking of girls.. the fact of the matter is i held negative views on ppl with STDs and the diagnosis did not change that. I have to find a comprose here because i find thd stigma to be of merrit and i think its outragious that if the numbers of carriers are so great that i cant see these people. I still will not deal with ppl with AIDS, Hep C, HPV, or whatever is left. I have high standards and i respect those standards even if they are now working against moi. Im not even willing to deal with a girl who doesnt care. I would rather comingle with my own, which is now u all. Before this i would had rather you all only dealt with eath other, HIV folks with HIV folks, etc. The best i could do was transition from the guy in the lynch mob of clean ppl to a separtist. I know its all very fucked up.. IDK why these are my beliefs but i agree my stock has gone down, and perhaps rightfully so.

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Well youre pretty much contradicting yourself all over the place. If you are positive for HSV, not only is your immune system already challenged but due to the fact that skin in the genital area is compromised when you have an outbreak (and during healing) it makes it easier for something like HIV ( and other stds)to be introduced into your body from that point. This information is offered elsewhere on this site. In that case wouldnt you want to know what your partners status as well so you can better protect yourself from additional problems? Sorry you have to find yourself down here with the rest of us Sodomites...Perhaps if the person who infected you had been aware and honest, you too couldve made a choice as to whether you wished to end up here or not.

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Its double compromised because i am a diabetic and i read you cant be stressed out or wear tight clothes either. So this has pretty much rocked my foubdation because im ready to put my fist thru a windshield right now over this 5 hour tire-rim switcharoo snafu debacle i was involved in. But i guess its not a good idea to be pissed because stress causes outbreaks. I gues these tight briefs and trunks i wear gotta go too and my jeans cuz tightness causes outbreaks... wow, freakin wow. This diagnosis cant kill me though. Im not KO'd just down. I will be demanding STD test results like any clean person would. As for the dumb whore(s) that gave me this i am investigating the source of my infection and will get to the bottom of it. I know i can trace it, thats easy shit. Can i prove she had a clue, is there a test result somewhere showin she did. If she had no idea im willing to let it go. Theres chance i might not have to swerve on sumbody but we dont kno yet. My research shows people go years without signs, i believe i probably went two.

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Ignorance pure straight up ignorance wow!!!! Holy shit

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their quality has nothin to do with them running their mouths. Ppl talk, esp women. I dont have those type of relationships, just flings, hook ups, off n oners. I like those.. i dont have any other STDs either and u should explain why it makes it easier to catch others.. i do not fear the stigmas because i can defend myself, i fear a bottlenecking of girls.. the fact of the matter is i held negative views on ppl with STDs and the diagnosis did not change that. I have to find a comprose here because i find thd stigma to be of merrit and i think its outragious that if the numbers of carriers are so great that i cant see these people. I still will not deal with ppl with AIDS, Hep C, HPV, or whatever is left. I have high standards and i respect those standards even if they are now working against moi. Im not even willing to deal with a girl who doesnt care. I would rather comingle with my own, which is now u all. Before this i would had rather you all only dealt with eath other, HIV folks with HIV folks, etc. The best i could do was transition from the guy in the lynch mob of clean ppl to a separtist. I know its all very fucked up.. IDK why these are my beliefs but i agree my stock has gone down, and perhaps rightfully so.

A few thoughts for you ---

You speak of having "high standards," while at the same time saying you only have casual "hook ups" and "flings." Those two things do not go hand in hand. If you are having casual sex, you cannot know for sure the standards of those with whom you are keeping intimate company.

Also, your beliefs that those who have STIs are somehow "less" than other humans are ridiculous, unfounded and offensive. I'm sure you already realize that. But let us put it into perspective. Herpes simplex is a virus that humans get and transmit to one another. That is all it is. The fact that skin-to-skin contact, sometimes with genitalia, can be a means of transmitting the virus does not make it special.

Have you or anyone you associate with ever had the flu or chickenpox? If so, then you already are a person, or have associated with people who have viruses that humans get and pass around. Chickenpox is even in the same family of viruses as herpes simplex. I bet members of your family, perhaps your parents or grandparents, have had that one even if you have not. Think about that.

The reason having HSV can make it easier to acquire other conditions is because HSV is an ulcerative condition. It causes breaks in the skin surface, which is our primary defense against infections.

As far as HPV, virtually everyone who is sexually active will get it at some point in their life. Unlike HSV, HPV transmits with nearly 100% efficiency. If you have had more than a couple of partners so far, you have most likely already been exposed to HPV.

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You're confusing this guy with the thread starter from 2003. Shadowy Figure, I feel for you. I want to keep my whorish ways up too, but we can't do that and be able to sleep at night. The fact that you keep coming back here shows that you're just frustrated and not an immoral or bad person.

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