Being mindful is great, but when it's affecting your quality of life...that's an issue. I have had HSV-2 for 13 years and I have not spread it to any other area of my body. The times that it manifest I am mindful and carful, and when it's dormant my head space is "Business as usual".
You got this, you're 10% fighting this physically, and 90% fighting this mentally.
When you can take thoughts and feeling captive and learn to control your mind(comes with time!) you will have better and better quality of life.
You are not alone!
Have you ever thought that you are the one that is judging your friends? None of your friends have judged you because none of them know, yet you are living your life as if they have. If you disclose and they do judge you, then why would you be friends with judgemental people, unless they reflect your own views?
I have disclosed to some of my close friends and they were compassionate, understanding and supportive. I know that if I disclose to others that they will react the same.
I used to laugh at herpes jokes in movies as well.......big deal. Open up to your friends and give them a chance before you judge them for how they might react.
I think everyone experiences this a few weeks after diagnosis. But if it keeps going months in, then you really need to deal with it and stop living your life in fear of this virus. It's not ebola. Arm yourself with the facts and then start living your life instead of letting herpes dictate how you live it