Hey HH, my first husband, my giver, he thought same thing I'd never leave, he was WRONG! Lol, he was shocked as hell when I walked out. He knew I was abandoned as a child, no biological family, boy was stunned!! Stop trying to please her and save yourself. She isn't worth the pain she's causing you.
I appreciate the kind words SheIsBlue, and thank you for the invitation to message you. I may need it. I am hoping on a miracle it seems, but who knows. She talks out of two sides of her mouth. To her mom and the therapist, she'll leave when she is ready to do so. To me, she doesn't want to leave. She's prob. scared of the unknown and the future. She also thinks I will never leave. However, as much as I do not want to, I am strongly considering it. I am just hoping she turns around. Funny, she says the same thing about me to her mom. Question is, what is she waiting on me to do? I ask her, and it's a mum answer. So, it's hard to do more if I do not know what she wants or is looking for. I leave it in fates hand to decide.
Hey HH, you deserve much better than you receive from her. She should feel lucky indeed that her man cooks, cleans and works, she needs a reality check. I agree convenience isn't a reason to stay. She's playing head games by walking naked in front if you showing you what you cannot have. I'm getting better but my husband still cuddles and takes care of me when he's home. His Career keeps him gone many days each week, but we make every moment count. I've seen how precious life is and how quickly it can go downhill. Stop doing her a favor and stick up for yourself. You are a catch in my book and any lady would be grateful to have a partner doing the things you are doing. More to marriage than sexy times but we all need the human compassion and physical touches if only to feel whole and alive. Yes, my husband is my best friend, my MIL hates me, long story, but he doesn't show me any disrespect for my ugly feeling about his mom. She's intrusive, ungrateful and nosey as hell and we don't talk, we separate holidays. If her mother is playing any part in how she acts towards you and treats you, cut your losses sweetheart and find a good woman who will support you in all manners of your life. SheIsBlue is very kind and I've seen her heart, support, it's very warm, so message her and talk to someone who is not directly involved and get a better perspective on things, I know love is blind, I'm wearing my Rosey Glasses and I'm doing better taking each day by day ! Keep us posted honey. Hugs Aces xo
There's a lot of threads dicussing this already but if you have ghsv1 and rarely break out then the transmission rate is low. Those figures aren't well documented like hsv-2, but the figures are logically much lower since the recurrence and shedding rate is much lower.
You look at the population % already with HSV-1 and that logically makes the transmission occurence even lower.
Then if the unlucky event of transmission occured, a high percentage of the population wouldn't notice
Then, of those that do get symptoms, it's most likely to be a non-event after the initial breakout (bar the stupid stigma)
(I actually did the maths on this myself and came out with a stupidly low risk of causing any form of harm, less likely than running someone over in a car for example, but I'm not going to post it myself because I believe it's up to an individual to interpret the factual data)
Now weigh all that against the stigma, that people have to go around "disclosing" (I would term that "educating"), because they want to use scary words like INCURABLE, STD, and INFLICT, and it starts to sound somewhat morally wrong to take the percentage of the population that have ghsv1 and tell them that they have to go around talking about something which in factual terms is extremely unlikely to affect anyone in a meaningful way. Much less so than nearly all the other human conditions that are prevalent in the population. In fact this just sounds like inflicting unnecessary misery on others which I don't see as a panacea of morality.
So really, it's up to you. It's a total grey area as far as I can see. Of course it's good to be honest with a partner, but if you're disclosing because you think it's "moral" then you're doing it for all the wrong reasons (i.e., other peoples ignorance about this).
Note that the forum is going to be skewed because most people with ghsv1 either have no symptoms or they get a few spots for a couple of weeks, their dr tells them it's not a big deal, and then they get on with their lives.