• Herpes Forums

    This is a site where you can talk openly and honestly about the herpes virus. Please scroll down for herpes information, herpes support and other helpful resources.

    You can read all articles for free but to gain full access to our network you must register for a free account. As a registered member you will be able to:

    • Post your own topics, ask questions, give advice and communicate privately with other members (PM)
    • Chat with over 50,000 people who are also affected by herpes (from all over the world)
    • Browse over 160,000 posts in more than 30 herpes specific topic forums
    • Search new and old posts, personalize your profile and access many other special features
    • Talk to other members in our live chat room

    All this is absolutely free when you register for an account, so sign up today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

  • Want to join our Herpes Help community?

    Create My Account.
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
foreverlonely

My husband gave me herpes...

7 posts in this topic

My husband cheated on me about two years ago and got Chlymadia from a one night stand (and gave it to me). Since that time, I have gotten tested every 6 months. Last week, I did my usual round of STD testing and I was devastated when I got the news that I have gential herpes.

Just when my life seems to be coming together it is falling apart. I hate my husband so much right now because he took my life from me so I want to take his. I had planned on filing for a divorce after I made my 10 years in the marriage (so that I could draw from his social security) but now what's the point?

I wish he would just die. He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

I can't eat--and I'm living on pure rage and hate at the moment. I've never known this much anger in my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm really sorry to hear that! Your life isn't over it just seems like that! I understand that completely...research says that a LOT more people than we realize have it. You have to try to have some faith. I know it is VERY difficult...just try.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Has he had more affairs since then? That sucks. It's not worth it, living with him and hating him. There are decent guys out there who will care for you even though you have HSV, I guarantee it. You can absolutely have a great relationship regardless. I know things look hopeless right now and you are angry, as you have every right to be. But don't stay with this guy just because you think no one else will have you. Because that is so not true. I swear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So if I've got this right - if you've been tested every 6 months since he had the affair then he MUST have been unfaithful again, otherwise you would have tested positive for herpes before now.

If this is the first time you've been tested for herpes, then there's always the possibility that you've had it for years but without symptoms/signs (I'm only saying this because in the UK routine STD screening does not include testing for herpes!!!! ) :???:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel your pain!!

I am in the same situation. I just found out about my husbands OTHER life and affair just last Sept. We had slept before me even finding out about his affair. I then got an STD and I went back to my OB and requested a FULL STD scan since on a previus thread when you get tested you must request for a FULL STD scan which I didnt know till now. I just found out I tested positive for HSVI/II..AGAIN I am devastated!!! Like you I HATE my so-called husband. I look at him and am disgusted. We have been married coming up 10years and his affair of 10 months has cost me EVERYTHING. Not only did he bring home STD's but also an illegitimate child from his mess.

The other threads are right. WE CAN AND WILL GO ON!!! There is someone out there who will love us with this disease!!!

We will have to learn to live now a more cautious life now. I have 3 children that bring me the utmost joy. So, since being newly diagnosed I am now focusing on getting very educated on HSV and trying to go on and live a productive life!!!

As for my low-life of a husband he can go where the sun dont shine!!! HE is the LOSER in all of this. His life, his marriage, his STRENGTH, is gone. What does he have? From what I see. He has nothing!!!

We are the VICTORS...dont let him take anymore of YOU...You matter in this world..It is just too bad they dont see that!!

Chin up and look to the sun...There is always LIFE,,,Take care and I hope things look up for you!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My husband cheated on me about two years ago and got Chlymadia from a one night stand (and gave it to me). Since that time, I have gotten tested every 6 months. Last week, I did my usual round of STD testing and I was devastated when I got the news that I have gential herpes.

Just when my life seems to be coming together it is falling apart. I hate my husband so much right now because he took my life from me so I want to take his. I had planned on filing for a divorce after I made my 10 years in the marriage (so that I could draw from his social security) but now what's the point?

I wish he would just die. He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

I can't eat--and I'm living on pure rage and hate at the moment. I've never known this much anger in my life.

Ladies, in the United States, what your husbands have done is not only outrageous, but patently illegal. You can sue him. In fact, you can even sue the person who infected HIM, if they had reason to believe they might be infected. This is just American legal information. I am not telling you what to do. But so few people know their legal rights in these matters--including the perpetrators who don't assume their behavior could have serious health or legal consequences, which does go towards their repeat negligence about it all. Here's one case study if of interest.

http://biotech.law.lsu.edu/cases/STDs/Meany.htm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

Foreverlonely,

The others are right, there are guys out there who will ride this out with you. I did.

DM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Herpes-simplex-101-banner.jpg

  • Honeycombers Online now

    • suptalife
    • HC-Support-Team
    • sailing101
    • fixme1
    • EM424
    • Sanguine108
    • Jwhite
    • bayern77
    • Norwegiangirl
    • Macuser
    • About Blank
  • how-to-deal-with-herpes.jpg

  • Latest Buzz

    • Jwhite
      Finally went to the doctor
      That must be why I feel so horible cause I have quite a few blisters.. how long did it take your wife to start feeling some relief down there ?
    • Macuser
      Finally went to the doctor
      Like my wife when she had ghvs 1 outbreak. She had high fever.  It's because she had so many blister. 
    • fixme1
      false negatives?
      ut i read HSV1 is missed alot of the time in IgG ???
    • fixme1
      false negatives?
      I just dont get any of it, the pain down there and the burning lips time to time. also surely i could of got it from my partner over these 2 years even if, or i just havent had a transfer due to no shedding or something. I would like to go with a reputable blood test spot as a second opinion. my gf and I have pretty much broke up now so im unsure where to go from this if its always on my mind but with no proof if i do or dont
    • HerpeHendrixson
      Life is truly a mess
      I am so sorry you had to go through that.  I find it very strange how some people just treat others that they claim they "love".  I do believe in karma.  One way or another, all who have done wrong to one, will have it done back to them, eventually.  Again, I am so sorry you had to experience something like that.  A spouse should support the other spouse through thick and thin (within reason).  I thought that was the essence of marriage.  Perhaps, I am too old fashioned.  I do not believe marriage is looked upon that way any longer.  Truly a shame.  It was once a great institution.
  • Recently Browsing

    No registered users viewing this page.