Hey HH, we treat others how we expect to be treated! We teach them what's acceptable behavior towards us, what are you teaching her? You telling her it's okay to play head games, it's okay to abuse me, only you can stop this insanity! Yes, I'd giver her the Valentine's Day gifts since you are NOT trying to 've manipulative, you are NOT going to lower your standards just to keep up with her, right? You are WRONG about sexy times and oral pleasures diminishing over the years in a relationship. My husband and are as active as any 30's couples, possibly more ! We LOVE each other and when one of us cannot perform the sexual positions, we handle the situation in other ways, wink wink ! If you let the relationship stagnant, it will, if you keep it alive and fresh it will thrive and we do just that. We've been knocking boots for almost 3 decades, why stop now..
You can have what you want but it takes BOTH partners involved to be willing, she certainly isn't that partner. Only you can choose what's acceptable for you. Hugs Aces xo
That's easy. If she lies to her mom, her mother feels sorry for her and gives her anything she needs. And you give her everything she needs. She's got it made. Sounds like she is manipulating both of you.
Thank you aces, it is hard, as I fear I would be making a mistake. However, the last conversation was a brutal one. She conjures up things in her head that are not true. I tell her one thing, and then she twists it around and tells her mom and the therapist something else. Tells her mom I was never tested for HSV six years ago, when in fact I showed her the results. I've specifically told her I get blood tested each year, and only one out of six had been positive. The last five NEGATIVE. She tells her mom that I NEVER had a blood test before this one. We just talked about the previous blood tests on Thursday. She says I am a master manipulator. You know why? Well, apparently, having a bad headache means I am manipulating her. She wanted to watch TV, and I said I had a headache and went to lay down. I put on the TV in my den and fell a sleep. She claims that I LOCKED my door and was hysterically laughing. ??? Both things were completely false. How does one deal with a person like this?
It is true, my needs are not being met. I try not be be greedy, and I hear that intimacy slows down during marriage. In addition, she used to help around the home and get groceries, but not any more. She's not been to the grocer in over six weeks, but then complains when no food is here. She then complains that I did not give her a complete med list I take for my heart, pain and blood, this is untrue. I must had given it to her at least 10 times. Heck, I even e-mailed it to her. She tells her mom, I have no idea what he's taking. He's never given me a list of meds. There's some many issues with him, who knows.
I overhear these things, and it just hurts. She tells her mom these "issues", but never confronts me with them. Her mom even asks why not confront me with these issues? Why? Because they are not true. That is why. They were both cursing me back and forth. Yet, in person, she's all bubbly and sweet. I just do not get it.
Heck, I bought her VD gifts too. Do I give them to her? I am sure she'll find a way to turn it around and say they aren't what she wanted anyway to her mom.
One last thing I thought was interesting. She's been to this therapist six times already. She tells her mom, she cannot afford to go much longer. The mom offered to give her $$$ to help pay for things. Here's the problem. I've been paying for the first five visits myself. What is she talking about???