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  2. Balancelife

    I’m F*ing Angry!

    When who gets a positive test? I have already tested positive (as you and I have discussed multiple times in other threads and I state here) and HIPA would prevent me for getting his results unless he willingly provides to me, but as I’ve also stated HE won’t get tested. Ya can’t get blood from a stone. He has nothing that would even start to compensate for the pain and suffering, let alone the missed work because of the pain!
  3. WilsoInAus

    I’m F*ing Angry!

    @Balancelife when you get a positive test, sue him!
  4. Read what I wrote and start Googling. Both the Einstein College of Medicine (William Jacobs and Betsy Herold) and University of Pennsylvania/Trivalent (Harvey Friedman) seem to believe they are on the right track and have established relationships outside of their respective universities. Yes, it’s early, but they are taking the bat and readying to swing at HSV. Cross those fingers and stay positive!
  5. WilsoInAus

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    Where ever you are trolling, I’ll be right there.
  6. SeanHanson

    In anticipation of something to celebrate!

    Fingers crossed!! Could you elaborate a bit on the research or maybe post a link to it? Definitely could be a little light in the dark 🙂
  7. Balancelife

    I’m F*ing Angry!

    I just found out that the person I suspected I got this shit from has been having symptoms for YEARS! For years and never saw a doctor or got tested. Even after I was diagnosed he wouldn’t get himself checked. He said “if I do have it too, it just means we’re meant to be together” like what in the actual f*ck!!! This guy is a friend of a friend and has been wanting to date me for a while but I was never interested...until one lonely drunk night he ruined my life!!! Even after my diagnosis he lied to me about this. He told me he’s never even suspected he had a problem. I had to find out from our mutual friend that he’s had symptoms for years! I want to smash his face in with a baseball bat!
  8. Melx

    UK dating sites

    Thanks for the feedback on the sites you've tried. I was reluctantly considering them, but seems they too are a also a waste of time
  9. hunger4more

    In anticipation of something to celebrate!

    Everytime I have an ob I optimistically hope it's my last one.... 😩
  10. Wow, that sure is an inspiring view you have. Thank you for your answer, it means a lot! Even though I am far from your inspirational mental state it's definitely something I wanna work on in the future. I guess you're right about the sex, too. I hope to find that some day. Thank again!
  11. blurneworder

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    This is doing nothing to support the poster in this thread. Please take your problems to relevant threads.
  12. blurneworder

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    Ask for his sources. For all you know, that information is based on opinion or a small study.
  13. Today
  14. G77

    relationship strain, breaking point

    Do what @Franky26 suggested and get an online test! It can be under your name. You should order the test and then present him with it and tell him it's registered as you. If he won't do that then he's in complete denial which is a dangerous thing because how many more people will he pass it to if you break up with him!
  15. Hi I'm also at a year since diagnosis and mentally I'm in a different space to you. I don't let it bother me now but at the beginning I was devastated. This forum helped me massively come to terms with it. You can't change the fact that you have it so you have a choice either to live feeling like crap or just decide to live your life as before only taking a few extra precautions. I'd not had an ob in 8 months but I'm currently going through one and this time around I'm like theres nothing to worry about, it will be gone in a few days. Whereas 8 months ago I was saying.. why me! It's all about how you think about it and I always say it's just a skin condition! I've not dated anyone since diagnosis but that is mainly because I don't have time and I was pretty much single for years before I got it anyway. I know telling people will be hard and it's something I do dread if the day ever comes, but the right person will stick by you anyway. As for meaningless sex...it's overrated anyway! Sex is much better with a good connection and mutual respect and from my many years of experience, more fun!
  16. Pitchbird

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    It's refreshing to read the first neutral comment without moral preaching in this thread. So actually my case is about either belonging to the small amount of people who disclose in a relationship or pretending to belong to the majority of none-knowers until it happens... 😕
  17. WilsoInAus

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    @Pitchbird all I can tell you is human practice, only you can decide what’s right for you. In the US about 90% of people do not disclose HSV-2, although 80% do not know they have it. Of the half of people who do know and do disclose then about half of those are upfront and the other half When relationship is established. outside of the US, disclosure approaches zero.
  18. While there has been bits and pieces of encouraging news,..... yet in other respects it seems it’s been a while since something REALLY noteworthy and energizing has been shared. Which gives me pause to think, you know what? I’ve optimistic that soon, we are all going to be on the receiving end of something very disrupting of the status quo. With Thrivent moving over to Merck (I think) and Einstein College of Medicine partnering and creating X-Vax means these folks are very, VERY serious! Hopefully, in the not terrible distance, we may have something to raise a glass to! Hang in there, the Calvary is still riding!!!
  19. WilsoInAus

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    It is you who has unresolved issues, further you have morally disgraced yourself yet again and you are being libellous. Face some facts: - there is no evidence you have genital herpes - there is no evidence your symptoms are caused by herpes - there is no evidence this partner infected you with herpes. No matter what you write, what you think, these truths will stand tall. Until you do, nothing has meaning.
  20. Pitchbird

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    Uh... yea. I think that strategy is actually used by some people, but that's probably the dumbest and meanest one. Guys, how about you spare me the phrase book and tell me which option is better in your opinion in my current situation now that sex has already taken place: A) disclose when it's clear that it's turning into a relationship and before any symptoms have appeared B) do the fake first diagnosis trick when symptoms become visible C) Your strategy (I suppose you were not serious about yours, Wilso)
  21. blurneworder

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    This thread is not about your unresolved issues. Please stay on topic.
  22. Hi everyone, 😇 For about a year ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes which since then has had an enormously negative impact on my mental health. I have spent so much time thinking and worrying about it that I eventually went to see a psychiatrist and she advised me to make a post in a herpes forum, so now I want to give it a shot. In the past I used to love to go out and meet girls, but after the diagnosis my self esteem has been so low that I barely have the guts to do anything and sometimes I even have trouble just speaking to girls I might could have been interested in. I guess I feel kinda alone about it and because of the herpes it's now been such a long while ago since I've been dating and that's something I really miss. In addition to this, I spend way too much time and energy thinking about the reaction from a potential partner. I suppose the fear of rejection is so big that I've chosen just to keep it to myself. Also, I don't really have any friends with whom I feel comfortable enough talking about this to. Even though I realize that it's far from the end of the world, I still have huge trouble accepting the diagnosis and the way it affects my life. Therefore, I want to ask if anyone has any tips or something like that to deal with a diagnosis. I think the mental side of it is far worse than the actual symptoms. Does it get easier to live with as life goes on? I truly appreciate any answers or advice from you guys. Also if you want to share your experiences or stories that would be more than welcome. Thank you all so much in advance ❤️
  23. WilsoInAus

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    The right thing? How is accusing someone who tests negative of herpes as actually having infected you? If this partner transpires to have genital herpes then the odds are you infected her without disclosing. Grow the fuck up and do the right thing!
  24. blurneworder

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    Grow the fuck up and do the right thing.
  25. MiLoBeng

    Donations to Fred Hutch Center

    Probably next year?
  26. Pitchbird

    Smartest disclosing strategy after sex

    Ok so besides the expected moral preaching the only other suggested strategy so far was to find a HSV2+ partner which I would do but is super difficult in my location. Let me bring up another option: I could disclose out of nowhere after several dates, several times of sex when it's clear that it's turning into a relationship and before any symptoms have appeared. I am actually close to that situation currently. But is that really better than the fake first diagnosis strategy? I mean imagine you were the other person listening to the disclosure. Would you be fine with that? Or would you be angry and leave because of the potential exposure before? (at least I'm on antivirals). Or would you rather be ok with it if someone just spotted it while being with you and gets diagnosed afterwards?
  27. StandTall

    Accepted

    The ex got his results back - he's negative. I'm just waiting for my boyfriend's results. I'm at the stage where I'm thinking he either 1.) knew he had it and used protection to try an avoid transmission without disclosing or 2.) thought he had something but didn't know for sure, nor was he tested or 3.) He was clueless. I called up my provider and they confirmed my previous tests did include HSV in the panels. All negative. Right now I'm working hard to not be distrustful of my boyfriend. Accepting this diagnosis is not difficulty, but accepting lies- that's the breaking point for me. On a lighter note, I'm starting to think I should write a book about this entire ordeal.
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