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  1. I was just recently diagnosed with HSV1 but the outbreak is on my vagina and I do not have any cold sores on my mouth. I thought it was ok to kiss the man I've been dating and give him oral since I don't have any sores on my mouth. But now both he and I are panicking that I may have passed it to him unknowingly. What exactly is the risk? What should I do? What should he do? I just started taking the medication today and we were kissing last night. I feel so stupid for not knowing it could still present a risk.
  2. TaylorNicks


    Hello! I’m new here, I found out about 8 months ago that I am living with Herpes. I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. I was infected last January. I was out with friends and went to an after party at a mutual friends, friends, party. I ended up getting drugged and raped. I woke up the next morning, covered in my own blood and in an unfamiliar place. Once I got home, I realized I had the worst pain in my genital area. Later to get tested and be positive for herpes. It’s one thing to have herpes, it’s another to have received them through rape. Anyway, When I found out, I didn’t tell my boyfriend, I was unsure how he would react. It came out one night when I was drunk and he was so angry with me. We are still together and moving to a new state together. But he continues to bring up the fact that I have it and he is terrified he’s going to get it. How can I comfort him, how can we get our relationship back to how it was before he knew? We used to be extremely sexually active (twice a day), now it’s like twice a month, with a condom. My boyfriend could not cope with the fact that i had it and that he still has not gotten it, he made me get a third test done for his satisfaction. Ive now had 4 tests done. Two came back slightly positive, like .2% over the “ inconclusive” results, one completely negative, and one positive. Help?? What does this mean? I have done research for a black market cure, has anyone else? I found one that is being studied in the Caribbean and Mexico. Has anyone else seen anything else about this? Or know any homeopathic cures? Thanks for your help. And for reading this long post!
  3. I've known him for less than a month. I model &he is a young, handsome assistant photographer with whom I was in Mexico with for 5 days. I have been diagnosed with HSV2 for over a year now, but I have only had an outbreak twice within that year& I do take antiviral medication for it. He &I did not know eachother prior to Mexico, but we hit it off& as a single-mother who doesn't get out much I am guilty of making the first move by asking if it was cool to cuddle. I was actually really surprised he said yes, with that being said I do remember thinking to myself,"but I have herpes... okay, we will just cuddle, if he wants more, I will stop it, if I can't stop it I will just give him head." &though that may seem like a naive thought, I am 22 years old& he is the first guy I've ever "hooked-up" with. I've never had sex outside a relationship or several dates, before him. To add, I also do had a friend that I cuddled with, without sex, but I should have noted that I'm not attracted to that friend which is why that probably worked with him. So we did the deed, I didn't stop it, I let it happen because I selfishly wanted it so badly. I even forgot about my herpes for a good couple days after the act. When I looked in my cabinet to get something& saw my prescribed antiviral medication,I realized what I had done. I told him today, it's been 16days since the act. I was calm& explained to him that because he used a condom&I do take my antiviral medication there is only a 1-2% chance he could have gotten it from me. He didn't seem too upset,& he said he will get back to me after he gets tested &does some research. I promised to pay for the testing &anything else he is troubled with from this incident&at the end of the call he thanked me for telling him. I don't know if I should just back off for now to see how it goes, or if I should be checking-in on him often &sending him links to help him find accurate information on HSV2. I will be working with him again this Wednesday, for a collab photoshoot, but since I'm the one that hired him, I told him I understand if he decides to call it off, he said he won't let this affect his work. Only time can tell, but if there is anything else that you think I can do to ease whatever he may be going through at this time please be gentle with your suggestions. I know what I did was very wrong and I will never do it again, but it doesn't change what happened, I can't take that night back. Honestly, the sex was amazing, one of the best I ever had, and afterward we decided to start-off again as friends and I was okay with that. I felt normal for a moment, and I was extremely happy, but now I remember that I am not normal, and am extremely guilty for putting him at risk without his consent. I don't know if we can continue to be friends, but I do need advice on what I should do next. He said he will get tested next week and that he will also still do the photoshoot, but he also said he doesn't know how he feels about all this new information because he hasn't done the research on it. I know he will do the research, but with all the stigma I'm afraid his friends will only freak him out if he goes to them for advice, or that he may type the wording wrong in google to get negative results. I told him the facts, that it's common, that he has nothing to worry, but he should get tested, that it's less likely for women to transmit it to men, and even more unlikely with the medication and protection involved.... but what if he gets tested and it is positive? I asked him if he has hooked-up before, he is 24, and he said yes he has a few times.... so in reality, the thing is that he could have had herpes prior to meeting me, and not even had known it, but I didn't bring that up at all.... I'm not a promiscous person, but my relationship before this hook-up was with a promiscous man, which how I got this... I remember how I felt after finding out, I felt extremely betrayed because I trusted him and even after I knew 100% how I got and asked him about it, he still pretended he was clean.. He is not a good man, but this young man I hooked-up with for one night is a wonderful person, I can tell even if I hadn't known him the year I've known the other. I feel truly awful for what had happened, but I'm worried I may have played it too cool when I called and he may think I have no remorse for what I'd done, but I'm also worried if I text him now with a follow-up apology it will freak him out about the situation... What is my best option now?
  4. SillyGirlMel

    Getting a Labbox??

    Should I send a link to the labbox testing for the guy I hooked up with? I told him I have HSV2 after the deed was done and of course promised to pay for any expenses for testing. I found the link to labbox through honey, but I’m worried if I send him the link the horrific description about hsv2 beneath the merchandise will give him a heart-attack. What should I do? I messed up and I’m trying to help without making it worse.
  5. https://imgur.com/a/Wj2dETS Hi all, about 2 days ago I started to feel intense pain on my labia majora, looked down and saw 2 rather large open sores( 1 on either side). The pus (normal looking yellow) from the sores have stopped this morning. A day later, there was a blister that formed in my pubic area. In addition to this, there is skin shedding whenever I wipe after a pee ( it doesn't hurt when I urinate, I don't have a fever). My only sexual activity has been with a virgin and it was oral (started April 27th and ended June 8th). I've never seen a cold sore on this guy's mouth so I am unsure of what it could be. I'm on holiday for the next 2 days in a humid tropical country (indonesia, where the hygeine levels are appalling) so I don't know if the climate (dust, shower water) could have irritated the skin, as I've been here for 2.5 weeks already. I have been sweating excessively and I forget to immediately take off my sweaty clothes after a day out. Could that be the cause? Somebody please help this is urgent.
  6. anon2018j

    Next Outbreak

    Hello, so I have recently just been diagnosed with herpes type 1, I had a Cold sore on my face and it also spread my genitals. I was wondering where is my next outbreak likely to be? genitals or around my mouth?
  7. Hi all. I’m so glad I have found this forum. I have just been diagnosed with genital herpes. I’m currently so damn sore and itchy. I feel ashamed and skanky. I was with my husband for 17 years. We split up 4 years ago. There was a gap I had a few sexual relationships but always used condoms. I then met my boyfriend and we’ve been together nearly 3 years. I am still friends with my previous sexual partner and contacted him and said he doesn’t have it. And has had a sexual health check in January all ok. So is it possible my current boyfriend is the carrier? He has no symptoms. Again we use condoms but he performed oral on me. I’m finding the whole thing very confusing. The dr seemed adamant it was my most recent partner but I think cos I was in so much shock I didn’t take all the information in. If anyone could help that would be great. I’m going to go and have a read around the forums now for advice on pain .
  8. I was diagnosed with Genital Herpes 18 months ago and it just doesn't get any easier.. I'm still just as angry/upset about this whole situation. It weighs me down that little bit more every day like a tonne of bricks on my shoulders. I don't even know who I am anymore, I have pushed the closest people away from me without even realising I just don't know what to do I need help.
  9. Hi there, Feeling very lost and worried about the constant outbreaks I’ve had since my initial diagnosis 3 months ago. My first outbreak was terrible, lasted 3 weeks, after my first round of valcyclovir I had about four clear days then immediately had another outbreak. Took another round of valcyclovir and went on suppressive therapy. Started at 500mg/day and was still having constant outbreaks, I spoke to my dr and he upped the dose to 1g/day and also tested for HIV to cover all bases (came back negative). My outbreaks are becoming increasingly mild and I hardly notice them but I ALWAYS seem to have the bumps. The longest I can go completely clear is 4 days. I take every vitamin-C, D, E, magnesium, B, Lysine, OOO, OLE, zinc on top of my suppressive therapy. I avoid all the arginine foods, I eat pineapple, I’ve tried it all and nothing seems to work. It’s expensive and frustrating and so disheartening. I understand that the first year is the worst but my doctor feels that the frequency of my outbreaks isn’t normal and it’s really challenging to stay positive and feel good about myself. I am 24 & female if that helps. Most sites I read say 4-6 outbreaks/year is the normal amount and I’ve easily tripled that in 3 months. Anyone else experience the same thing?
  10. On Halloween, I got drunk (I this isn't an excuse) and slept with this guy I've been talking to for about a month now. I now feel completely guilty I didn't tell him that I have the herpes virus (I've only been recently diagnosed only about 1.5 months ago). I don't know what to say to him, or how to bring up that I have the virus in a conversation. Need help! Has anyone done this before and have stats/information I can tell him while trying to tell him.
  11. HarrisonIs

    Spread to mouth? Please advise!

    Hi guys, Just wondering if anyone could answer some questions for me. I currently have GHSV-1, and am aware of the rarity of the virus spreading to another area, however I've developed an ulcer/sore in the back of my mouth, this happened last week also! In the exact same spot... the few red dots above the sore also are something that I'm pretty sure aren't normally there. Me and my partner do engage in a reasonable amount of oral sex however I would've thought if I was going to have it transmitted to my mouth it would've shown on my lip not in my throat/back of mouth. Has this happened to anyone else? Also any ideas what I can do to get it checked? Should I go to my GP or a sexual health clinic, not sure if they'd do anything about a mouth sore or not... Any advice would be massively appreciated as I'm not sure how to proceed H
  12. Berry101


    Hi, I've been to my doctor today, expecting to be told I have a urine infection. Only to be tested for herpes and told I probably have the virus. I'm beside my self, I can't even function. How does everyone deal with this. I wish I could honestly just curl into a ball and die. I keep reading and reading, and coming to the conclusion that it's just a virus that comes and goes, gets better and worse like a cold almost. But I feel like my life is over. I just need some form or reassurance that if it is positive my life will still go on.
  13. Raeschk

    HSV+ partner

    Hey guys, I’m new here! I’m a 21 year old female, and I’m not HSV positive myself. A guy I’ve been seeing told me tonight that he is. His ex didn’t tell him that she was and they had sex without a condom. He was very respectful about it and told me before anything sexual happened, and I could tell he was expecting me to run for the hills when he told me. I didn’t run for the hills. We’ve only been on a couple of dates, but he is an absolutely incredible guy and it breaks my heart for him that someone could do this to him. After he told me, I asked where he sees this going. I don’t normally ask that kind of question so soon, but circumstances are circumstances. If this was going to be a one and done sort of deal it wasn’t worth the risk. He said that he wants me to stick around and thinks this has the potential to become something serious. So he put on a condom and we had at it. ...am I an idiot?
  14. Hello, New here but hoping for some help. I've been really stressed for the past two days. Background - I'm with a steady partner (have been for almost a year), have previously always used condoms. After both of us had a complete sexual health check (including serology) we decided to not use condoms (just the pill). Noticed this yesterday and got it checked at the clinic. I shaved two days ago and I normally have quite dry skin (chronic dermatitis) so it's not unusual for me to get a bit of redness when I shave (irritation). But i've never seen something like this before - I've had folliculitis in the past and it doesnt seem like that either. I don't have any symptoms - I'm pretty well other than being a bit tired (but exams are around the corner and I'm pretty anaemic atm). No burning, pain or itchiness at all. The nurse said she thinks its probably irritation but could be herpes and swabbed it. I find out sometime next week but I'm just struggling right now as I've always tried to be really safe. The bump has all but gone now - no signs of a scar or crust or anything at all. Just hoping for some second opinions?
  15. So around the forth of July I started getting itchy bumps that were very tiny and spread out. Before that I had in and off bacterial vaginosis. Anyways all of the bumps disappeared painlessly except one. I then scratched that bump and it bled. The next day I started itching inside my lips and I noticed there were more bumps. They're painful to pee on but they were never blisters and I never had flu symptoms. I've been with the same person for 3 months HOWEVER my groin lymph nodes are swollen. Please help. PS the bump on the far right is a razor bump
  16. vitacoco

    I Want To Try Again

    I was diagnosed with gHSV1 about 2 weeks ago. My outbreak is all cleared up and I am off the 7 day treatment my nurse gave me. I want to try getting back into sexual activity with my partner, but I am nervous about pain or discomfort. Can anyone give me any advice or what to expect? It can be as simple as oral to actual intercourse Any response would be greatly appreciated... I am very nervous.
  17. Hi! Recently a guy that I had just started dating got an outbreak and found out that he has herpes. We had been dating for a little less than a month and everything was great, I was really falling for him until he found out that he had herpes and decided to stop dating me. To give more context, we had sex before he found out, but after his diagnosis I took a test and came up negative, so neither of us passed it to the other. Anyway, he said that he was too depressed and shocked with the news to even think about getting in a relationship or keep dating me. I got very upset because at no point I had said I didn't want to date him because he had herpes, in fact I tried to be as supportive as I could and told him that I'd be happy to keep getting to know him and see where things go. So I'm very confused right now because I feel like maybe he was not sure about me or he was not very interested. But at the same time, I don't have herpes and I don't know how I would feel in his situation, so was trying to get your opinions, is it really possible to be so depressed with the news that you want to avoid contact with someone you were dating? do you think is true that he is very depressed? And is there anything I could do or just let him come back when he has accepted the news a bit better (he found out about a month ago)? thanks!!
  18. Previously tested negative, this would be the primary outbreak. Single blister, approx one inch away from outer labia toward butt. Didn't open, no scab. Turned into pink bump and disappeared within a few days. Looks like a classic herpes blister to me according to what I've found online, but was hoping I could get some input?? Thanks so much. Ps Am waiting for the 16 week mark to get tested and was out of the country when this happened so couldn't get swabbed. Tested neg igg at three weeks both 1&2, though I know far too early.
  19. Loveme0505

    Need advice?

    A couple months ago, I met a wonderful guy (or I should say I thought I did), we dated and then became sexually intimate. I asked him if he was free of any STD's prior to having sex, he said yes. One thing led to another, and had Sex with no condom on the first time. So the next day I asked him if he could bring me test results stating that he was free of STD's. He said yes. A couple days later, he then sat down to talk to me and told me he had HSV2. He has an outbreak about 1 time a year. I freaked out and was furious for the fact that he lied to me. A couple stressful weeks went by, I got tested and all my results were negative. I am still negative. Over those couple of weeks I was thinking long and hard of wether to stay with this guy or not since I had feelings for him. At the end I decided not to stay with him. I did not feel comfortable risking myself to HSV2. He all of a sudden became enraged, and starts to yell at me. He said I fooled and lied to him. I guess he fell in love with me and now that I decided to leave, he wants to point fingers at me for no reason? He said I caused him damage and I'm a bad person. He also said I would of never known anything about his HSV2 if he hadn't told me, that he should of never told me. I feel he acted very immature about this as I have a right to know of his status and also have a right of staying or leaving him. But the blame is on me and depicting me as a horrible person. He carrys this pitty story that he is the victim and tells everyone. I don't get it? Am I missing something here I don't see?
  20. Hello I'm looking for some advice, I'm really struggling to recognize if I'm having an outbreak or not. I've had previous skin conditions of red dots and itchy skin as I had severe eczema as a child which has now thankfully cleared up. However, now being diagnosed with HSV1 gential about 10 months ago, I experience my primary (quite severe) OB and my secondary OB of only one minor lesion, I now find myself mulling over every red dot I find on my genitals. Currently I have a few red bumps under my foreskin which have left me wondering again whether or not I'm experiencing an OB I was also awakened last night my a sudden sharp pang of itching/pain on my penis last night but and unsure if that was just boxers catching me or if it is linked! I'm finding it very hard to know whether me and my partner are safe to have sex and am feeling it start to effect my confidence and I don't want to keep having to say no because I'm worrying! I'd really appreciate any advice, H
  21. Hi, Sexually active 40 something male. Other day found what I thought was a small cut on head of penis. Was found after fooling around with someone and figured it was a minor cut from fingernail. Not oozing. Urination normal. No pain unless I prod at it, and it is minor. Lower lip has a soreness to it. No blister. No crust. No ooze. Redness, small cuts around inside of mouth. Noticed more so after eating spicy food tonite. Is this potentially herpes, or perhaps just coincidental conditions? Thoughts?
  22. HarrisonIs

    Unsure About Out Breaks

    Hello Everyone! Just joined and am looking for some advice I was diagnosed with GHSV1 about 10 months ago, as far as I'm aware my new partner has tested negative so I'm trying to be careful ( just a bit of background for you). I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on OBs, has anyone ever had them without and pre symptoms? No itching, no tingling and no illness? I notice a small red dot/mark on myself this morning while bathing and am unsure if I'm having an OB or not! Any advice would be greatly appreciated Thanks, H
  23. I am a newly diagnosed (<1 year) HSV2 positive female. For the first time since my diagnosis, I started to hook up with a guy and things got heated. Being the fact that I didn't tell him about the situation, no intercourse happened however, at one point he fingered me and in the heat of the brought his fingers to his mouth. Although no direct oral sex from him to me happened, we are worried about the rate of transmission. I am on valacycolvir daily had no sign of an outbreak and no prodrome pain from shedding (I've experienced nerve pain in the past). I also went down on him and, even though I do not have oral HSV2, this is also something he is concerned about. I would like to know if anyone has had any similar experiences to mine or has any information on how likely it may be that he has been put at risk, anything to ease the anxiety...
  24. I've been diagnosed for a while but I still do not know how to deal with the whole "disclosure" thing. I've told my mom, a friend, and an ex... But now I have someone new in my life (not a boyfriend but fairly close) and they make me want to tell them... I'm just waiting for the right time, I guess. I want to know that he really cares before I feel like I can just unpack all of my baggage. I have yet to be intimate with him.. We have only kissed.. However I have been in my underwear and then he did touch himself after, but he didn't really touch me anywhere close to my area. It's been 2 days after that and today he has mentioned being achy and having the chills. Should I be worried or I am just over thinking it? I have done everything in my power to keep him from this disease until I was ready to tell him. I hope this doesn't seem selfish, I just haven't ever done this before, and he makes me feel so.. normal. I don't know what I would do if he contracted it... It would look like I was hiding this from him, when that was never the case. Any words of advice/thoughts? Am I freaking out too soon?
  25. Hello all! This might be a bit of a long one - so apologies in advance. To give a bit of context, I'm a female with GHSV1 which I contracted 6 years ago from my first boyfriend (joy!). Not prone to particularly regular outbreaks, usually once or twice or year. Not on anti-virals or other remedies such as Lysine. Now for the story: on a recent holiday I met a guy (who lives in a different state to me) and we instantly connected and ended up spending every day together - cute right? We kissed and did other fun stuff, but obviously nothing proceeded further than that... because ya know. On the final day of my holiday I thought f*** it, I'm going to disclose to him and see what happens. He was totally cool about it but we both agreed it would be best not to have sex until he'd done his own research and had a think over it. AAAAANYWAY, let's bring you back to present tense. Three weeks post-holiday and we've spoken every single day and I've booked a flight up to go and visit him in three days from now. He's asked a few questions about the whole herpes thing but has done his own research and is totally cool with it providing we take the right precautions. The only issue...3 days after I came home from the trip I experienced an outbreak It is now 2 weeks and 3 days since the outbreak has come and gone yet I am STILL experiencing slight prodrome symptoms - tingling, burning, itching. When I say slight I mean for some parts of the day I feel completely fine then all of a sudden I will feel symptoms. Defs no outbreaks down there though. I should also mention that 7 days into these symptoms I started on Valtrex 1000 mg a day, Lysine 2000 mg, Vitamin C + Zinc to get rid of the f***er. Not sure if it's helped? This shit gets you so in your own head it's hard to tell anymore. So what should I do peeps? Come out and tell him what I'm experiencing? Wait out the next three days to see if the prodrome symptoms go away? It's just that frustrating moment when you find someone that is actually cool about it, there's a huge build up to seeing each other (and obvs being intimate) then this stupid thing flares up. Bringing down my vibes big time! I hope you guys can share your two cents and give some advice as to what I should do next.
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