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  1. Here I am writing a post I never thought I would write. This story is definitely a bit confusing but I wanted to share my positive disclosure story. The other day I accidentally disclosed my GHSV1 to my partner by sending a message I was meant to post on this forum (dope). I've been thinking of the right words for ages, where would be the right place and when would be the right time. Due to the social stigma surrounding the topic, I had been feeling super anxious about disclosing so I had been coming on here for advice/support. But as I say, I accidentally sent a paragraph explaining my w
  2. About seven months ago, I posted that I disclosed to someone and he rejected me. We found each other on a dating site. Even though we both recognized we lived over 300 miles apart, we started talking and texting. After a couple of weeks of long conversations, lots of texts, and finding out we had an amazing connection, we decided to meet. Since we live more than 300 miles apart, I disclosed my status to him over the phone before meeting in person. I didn't want to waste his time or mine if it was going to be a deal breaker. When I told him I was HSV2+, he asked a few questions, we t
  3. So I was diagnosed with GHSV1 about five months ago. Even though I ended up disclosing to four of my amazing friends, I was dating a guy prior to finding out that I was a carrier of HSV (he’s not the guy who I got it from) and let’s just say he didn’t take it as well as I thought. Recently, this summer some guy who I’ve crossed paths with on multiple occasions over the last couple of years have come back into my life and we fell in love really quickly. Sadly, we ended up having sex prior to me telling him about this new chapter in my life. Thankfully I did end up telling him (just telling him
  4. LemonDifficult

    A happy ending (or beginning?)

    I’ve been a frequent visitor of this site for awhile. The times when I feel down about my H+ status, I have come here to read stories of hope and happy endings, and I feel a lot better and reassured. So, I finally made and account because I wanted to share my happy story! I was diagnosed with GHSV2 about 5 years ago. While I’ve been with and disclosed to two partners about my status since then, they had already told me that they had been with women previously who had the same diagnosis, so I wasn’t nervous to disclose my status to them after finding that info out. Neither of
  5. Learningtolivewithhsv

    First disclosure. PRAY FOR ME

    So I am new to the herpes world. I was diagnosed with ghsv-1 on May 17th. I was dating two guys at once (one I was sexually active with and someone else). The last person I had sex with, I am pretty sure he’s the one that gave it to me. I did disclose to all of my sex partners using text free because I was too embarrassed to reveal myself. But anyway, today I disclosed to the other guy I was seeing when I found out that I was gHSV-1 positive. We have been seeing one another one to two time a week and have planned basically our whole summer out. Even though he wanted to take it slow we are most
  6. Learningtolivewithhsv

    When should I disclose?

    So I just found out that I have herpes a little over two weeks ago. I am pretty sure I know who I contracted it from, but that is neither here nor there. I was dating two people (only sexually active with one). I no longer converse with the guy who I’ve contracted this from, but kept in contact with the other guy, let’s call him PT and we’ve been hitting it off really well. Sex isn’t really on the table for us because we both said that we wanted to wait for sex until we get to know one another better because we don’t want to rush anything. I can see something more forming between the two of us
  7. Hey everyone! I've seen a various posts across various forums regarding disclosing (or not) and have seen a bit of a trend in people thinking that it's 'hard to pass' with one encounter (lol) condoms make it impossible to pass, blah blah blah. So let's just try to compile some short & sweet answers to some basic H transmissions stories and questions...Could be helpful in many ways to lots of people! 1. Did your giver: show symptoms / asymptomatic / disclose H to you? 2. Protected or unprotected? Oral/vaginal/anal? 3. How many encountrs with giver? (time frame of enco
  8. Hi guys. Im new to this group, but not new to herpes. I’ve had it for about 5 years. In those 5 years, I’ve been with 5 ppl and I’ve disclosed with success to each one. No one has ever had a problem with my diagnosis or the method or time i told them. And then then this happened... i met met this guy and we REALLY connected. More connection than I’ve had with anyone. Talked for hours on end. It was a long distance thing, but we got really close quickly. Spent an hour a day on the phone. He he decided to drive out to see me. At this point we
  9. I've known him for less than a month. I model &he is a young, handsome assistant photographer with whom I was in Mexico with for 5 days. I have been diagnosed with HSV2 for over a year now, but I have only had an outbreak twice within that year& I do take antiviral medication for it. He &I did not know eachother prior to Mexico, but we hit it off& as a single-mother who doesn't get out much I am guilty of making the first move by asking if it was cool to cuddle. I was actually really surprised he said yes, with that being said I do remember thinking to myself,"but I have herpes
  10. Just-a-diagnoses

    To disclose or not to disclose?

    So I have a question. I was diagnosed almost 7 years ago. I am getting ready to enter the dating scene so I had a disclosure conversation with my OBGYN and my general MD. Their responses were very different and I wanted to share them to get an opinion. (Note: My infection came from a boyfriend that was infected a few months prior and was not aware so I was infected when he was most contagious in the first year ) My OBGYN said with the length of infection my virus is very weak due to my antibodies. He said being a female and transmitting to a male is low anyway (4% per year) a
  11. Hi! There is lots of info on the web about how HSV2 can be transmitted. There's so much, but it isn't all very specific so it's been very hard to determine with my particular case. I was diagnosed 7 years ago. Had it, took meds, was gone in a few days. My doc even told me I wouldn't have to worry about it again. And I haven't, totally in the back of my mind. Then a few months ago, my immune system was compromised due to a kidney infection and I started seeing something downstairs that I didn't recognize. Here it was again!!!! Seven years later!!! I had honestly forgotten about it. I'm her
  12. I am wondering is there some way to legally request from someone who has infected you with paperwork to show whether or not they are actually positive with the virus? The reason why I ask is I was sleeping with someone who told me that he was clean from the beginning. He seemed to emphasize it a little too much it felt. And when we would use condoms he would always want to take it off. After about the 5th time we had sex I was infected. The way I found out was quite traumatizing because the last time we had sex we used a condom however when we were finished we just turned around and went to sl
  13. Hi everyone, This has been the worst week of my life and I’m glad to have found this online community. Trying to wrap my head around this and the pain has just been excruciating. I’m on Valtrex since Tuesday and slightly feeling better now. I am still waiting for my lab results but the symptoms and my doctor make me think I definitely have Herpes. My doctor also is pretty sure, due to severity of the outbreak and recent sexual history, that I got it from the most recent partner I had (my ex and I were really long term and neither of us ever had any symptoms, I know that’s not a 100%
  14. livinlearnin428

    Have you disclosed after sex?

    I recently was confirmed that I have herpes. I had a scare over 3 years ago and was told that it likely was not herpes. Some blood work showed that I carried the HSV 1 virus but my doctor said since both of my parents have cold sores to only worry about it if I ever start showing symptoms. Ive been seeing this guy long distance and we slept together last summer. We recently started talking again and we slept together about 2 weeks ago. This past weekend I had a genital herpes outbreak and now my obgyn confirms that I do carry the virus and have genital HSV-1. I need to disclose to the gu
  15. I’ve been talking to this guy for about a month. We are not exclusive, by we hangout regularly. Two weeks ago, we went out and got really drunk. Like, I was in and out of sleep drunk by the time we got to his house. He ate me out 2 times, we fell asleep then he took me home. When I wokeup the next morning, I felt really bad. I try to disclose before sex, but I was too drunk that night. I still haven’t told him. We haven’t done anything since then. I don’t know how to backtrack and disclose. I normally tell before clothes come off. He keeps saying that there’s something I’m hiding b
  16. Hello, I was recently diagnosed with herpes. I am from Germany and herpes is not a big topic here. I do not know if I am suffering from type 1 or 2. My gynecologist did not even tell me that I can infect sexual partners. She also did not do a swab test, blood test or anything else. I called her one or two days later and asked her if she could do such tests in order to determine if the man I had had sex with a week ago has infected me and in order to determine the type. If I understand correctly, HSV 1 would be „better“ because 90% of people are infected by this and chances
  17. When is the right time to disclose to someone else that I have HSV2? I recently met someone and after 3 weeks of talking and going out on several dates, I disclosed the fact that I have HSV2 to him. He didn’t take it well and we are no longer speaking. When I told him, he asked me, “why didn’t you tell me sooner?” My response was that I simply don’t introduce myself and tell others I have HSV2 in the same sentence. But when do you guys think is the right time to disclose? Sooner, rather than later? The rejection was quite damaging and a good kick to the old ego, so now I don’t know w
  18. Hi guys, like to share my story of disclosing to a very special person. First like 7 moths ago i was diagnosed with hsv2. I felt depressed and focussed on my kids and my new job..not thinking of love because i was trying to block that. I was already sure that nobody could ever love me again. After a few moths i met somebody in town. I knew his face and person a long time because he is an artist in my hometown. we never met in person but i saw him and liked him a lot... we got in contact and we met on a official date.. i was blown away by this man. we talked on the phone every day and
  19. My relationship with the person I gave herpes to ended about three months ago (his choice). I was pretty freaking scared to date, so I just hung with my friends and the people I trusted. About a month ago, the brother of a close friend of mine told me he "had a thing for me" and wanted to see if we could date. I was petrified. (One thing I should mention is that I trust this person. To me, anyone I disclose to I want to trust not to spread the word, and to be kind to me when I disclose). I told him sure, I wanted to see him, but I had a couple things to tell him in person. I went over
  20. On Halloween, I got drunk (I this isn't an excuse) and slept with this guy I've been talking to for about a month now. I now feel completely guilty I didn't tell him that I have the herpes virus (I've only been recently diagnosed only about 1.5 months ago). I don't know what to say to him, or how to bring up that I have the virus in a conversation. Need help! Has anyone done this before and have stats/information I can tell him while trying to tell him.
  21. Ok so a little about myself: I've been positive for 7 years now. Got it from my first and only girlfriend of 6 years, pretty sure she cheated. It took me 2 years to get over her. Finally met a girl who I totally jived with.... Tried taking things slow for the first couple dates. Things seemed to be going well! She's 22 I'm 30 but we connected. (Gosh a girl finally likes me again!) She was very blunt and forward with all her issues (anxiety, depression, just broke up with fiance, parents getting divorced) I accepted all of her regardless of it all. We moved fast on an intellectual not
  22. eitak90

    Well I disclosed

    Well, I disclosed. I can't tell how it went. He didn't run for the hills, and I made it through without crying (hugeeee feat for me). He asked my knowledge which I was happy to give. I guess my own paranoia is what's bothering me. I hope he can accept me. He's extremely intelligent so I know he will research extensively. I just can't handle rejection about this for a second time. For you ladies that never had a man reject you for it, how? How do you tell them? Besides "I get cold sores but not on my face"
  23. I-Need-Hope

    Self Defeating Logic of Disclosure

    (I know most people on this site won't agree - You are entitled to your opinion) I don't understand the logic used in a lot of the disclosure threads -- it all seems to be self defeating. For example: When you disclose: - herpes is a minor skin condition, <1% chance of passing it on with condoms and daily anti virals, it's no big deal, everyone has it, they aren't worth it if they don't accept you If you don't disclose: - you're putting their health at risk, you're a bad person, it's a big deal, you didn't let them know the risks Are we perpetuating the
  24. Amg17

    First Disclosure

    So I have not dated or anything since my HSV2 diagnoses... mainly for the fact that I didn't want to have to tell someone about my little problem. Well in the course of events over the past 3 months, I stumbled upon the most amazing guy I've ever met... literally just my luck that he comes along AFTER my diagnosis. I wasn't looking for anyone, I wasn't hoping to find someone I could potentially fall in love with but here we are & I am worrying myself into a tizzy thinking about how in the world I'm going to tell this person I care about that I have herpes & then what is his reaction go
  25. Hey guys, I was just having a think about disclosing (which takes up a lot of time in my head!) and I was just thinking about how when I've felt down about having HSV1 and stuff people have said to me 'it's just a skin condition'... and technically it is... but I've always referred to it to partners/friends as a virus. Would it be incorrect/wrong of me to disclose by saying something along the lines of 'I have a skin condition that can be passed on through sexual contact'.. because that way I'm not saying I have a sexually transmitted disease/infection - but I'm still telling them that I
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