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  1. Please help I'm going see my doctor but yesterday's I woke with a itch but nothing was there but throughout the day I got red and well look at the pic could this be a outbreak https://ibb.co/7kGsFQX
  2. Chrisfoo

    Is this a outbreak

    I woke up this morning with a itch and theyre was nothing there but throughout the day it got red and irritated https://ibb.co/7kGsFQX please I need input I shared a ice with my son without noticing it feel like a idiot https://ibb.co/7kGsFQX
  3. Does anybody have any suggestions on how you deal with pain at work or when you are out? I have hsv2 I am in the beginning of a break out this one is bad. I can’t really afford to call in so if anybody has any tips I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks.
  4. Learningtolivewithhsv

    Advice for GHSV-1

    So I made it to month four without a visible sign of an outbreak. I had a really bad outbreak in the ending of April and was diagnosed with GHSV1. My initial outbreak took about a month to heal and left scars (a lighter pigmentation from my overall complexion on my genitals). Sadly I have been ridiculously paranoid to the point I have taken two 7 day treatments of Valtrex. More than likely it was probably just yeast infections (I get them way more than I should, even before getting hsv). I also take lysine twice a day and three times a day when I feel like an outbreak is coming on. I’ve been applying tea tree to my genitals everyday since getting diagnosed to dry out any potential outbreaks that are present that I possibly mistake for an ingrown hair. When does the worrying stop? How often have anyone on this forum with GHSV1 get outbreaks? What’s are some good tips and tricks?
  5. Hi, I have consistent folliculitis in my genital area that has been confirmed before when I went for doctors appointments. I just had a boil on my outer labia about 3 weeks ago. When I noticed the bump(which was under the skin) there was a raised bump below the boil that was not firm at all. Everytime I applied pressure with my finger to the boil, pus would come out of the other bump. I assumed they were connected. Two days after that I had sex with my boyfriend and a few days after that, I noticed that the bump that was not firm was now red. It kinda looked like a blister so that concerned me. When I squeezed the bump pus squirted out, then a clear liquid. I put a hot towel to it and pus and blood popped out with some clear liquid. After that was drained out the bump was no longer raised and just went flat. The next day it was still red but lighter in color. It went away quickly and the firm boil above it also went down alot but I can still feel it under the skin if I search for it. Was this an outbreak or just bacteria? Can folliculitis or a boil turn to a herpes blister? All feedback is welcome and I am scheduling a dr appointment as soon as I can. Also I want to add that I am an African American woman and I was told my curly pubic hair could cause more boils and folliculitis.
  6. Mrspinkk

    What is this? :( PICTURE

    https://ibb.co/svZ63Cn hi veterans I have ghsv1. Outbreaks are usually occur in my anus. I saw this in my groin today. It's bleeding. Do you have any idea what it is? Is this a herpes? Is herpes spreading up? I am so afraid
  7. I met this guy out at the bar one night. I got drunk with my friends and we all went back to these guys' apartment. One thing lead to the next and I had sex with him. I'm still talking to this guy after a month and we've been hanging out along with intimate relations, with condoms. I am planning on telling him soon about my herpes but I am so scared on how he is going to react. I know I am completely in the wrong and I feel absolutely horrible about not disclosing with him sooner. I've cried almost everyday since knowing him, due to the guilt and disgust of myself. I like him a lot and don't want to lose him. Are there any suggestions or advice on how I should tell him or what to say?!
  8. https://imgur.com/a/n93G8I5 could I have herpes I’m 33 weeks pregnant. I have had trouble with BV and utis lately. Please help. I’m scared. The blisters have bled some but don’t hurt.
  9. thirteen1395

    not okay lately

    hi i was diagnosed in 2016. contracted HSV-1 genitally from my then (now ex) boyfriend. im brand new to this site. been having a really hard time lately. outbreaks have been getting more frequent. rarely had them.. now currently going through the 3rd OB in 4 months. every time i think about it i’m immediately upset. it’s debilitating physically and mentally i regret my choices that led me to this every single day. it never leaves my mind. especially when i have an active OB. any and all suggestions for preventing OBs... foods/things to avoid. i never had to worry about this til lately. hate being depressed all the time. it sucks a lot ugh
  10. Learningtolivewithhsv

    Traveling with initial outbreak. HELP!!

    So I have recently been diagnosed with ghsv-1. I am traveling to Mexico soon tomorrow and my outbreak hasn’t completely healed as of yet. It’s been a week since taking the medicine and about a week and a half before noticing the outbreak. Even though it’s not painful to pass urine anymore but I’ve been pooping a lot and feel like I’m getting another outbreak inside of my anus. Are there any essentials that I should pack in order to subside the pain? Whilst home I’ve been taking epsom salt baths and adding tea tree oil to my sores.
  11. Hey folks. I posted here last week, I didn't include a picture so here it is. Also my previous post if no one saw it. Does it look like herpes to you? ----- Hey guys and girls. Anyone any advice for me? I feel at a loss. I haven't been properly diagnosed, only a visual diagnosis. On Friday night I was with my fella, we've been seeing each other for 5 months and always used a condom. Everything was fine, then Saturday I felt a little nippy down below. Sunday came and I decided to have a look down there. I was horrified at what I saw. In the entrance of my vagina was a rather large white patch,it looked like a hole, filled with white stuff. After that it got really painful to pee, very painful to walk and even sit down. I told him it looks like herpes, as I googled it. So that night I took a bath, and had another look after my bath. The white stuff had gone, and honest to God all i could see was a bright red looking hole. So this morning I went to my local clinic, and had a nurse take a look. she said it does look like herpes, it could be herpes, but it may not be. She tried to take a swab but the pain was that bad that everytime she touched it you had to peal me off the ceiling so she had to give up, gave me anti viral medication and an ointment to apply and I've to go back next week. I've had my suspicions for a while now as my ex had coldsores, and after a night with him I started to feel funny down there. This was a year and a half ago. Eventually I got diagnosed with vulvodynia, which I'm now thinking it may have been herpes all along. I don't know what to do. Feel disgusting. My boyfriend says if we'd never break up over it, but I'm an over thinker and I'm thinking the worst. I only done 2 things different last week, I used a hair removal cream, and used a different condom to the ones we had been using. Racking my brain trying to think of what else it could be, but honestly I do believe it's genital herpes and I'm gutted. It's the worse physical pain I've ever been in, peeing is the worst.
  12. shitshow


    I just got diagnosed yesterday 2/25/2019. I've almost been on meds a full 24 hours. It's been an actual shit show of a week. This week has been insane. At first symptoms didn't show up until four days after having unprotected sex. I have had chlamydia before (May 2018) and the symptoms looked the same. Wasn't painful until the fifth day. I kept asking my doctor for tests. "You have to set up an appt to get your lab paperwork (they don't do actual testing at my office, you have to go to the local hospital to do them)." So I get in there on the fourth day and nothing had even showed up yet. So I went to the hospital the next morning (Friday 2/22/19) and got my tests done. Nurse told me I could come and get results later that day. I come back and they only have my hiv one done, and I already knew I was negative. They told me to come in the next day and all my tests would be done. At this point the symptoms are getting worse and I'm starting to feel pain and itchiness and the nurse says she can't do jack sh it (it's JUST a hospital, not like anyone knows how to do THEIR job right?). I come in next day- absolutely freaked. I'm hysterical, crying, and I want some fu cking answers. I walk into the main check in area to find a sign that says GO TO ER RECEPTION. I had called the hospital an hour beforehand to set my results aside so I don't have to wait 10 years for some stu pid papers. I walk to the ER, and I'm shaking like h ell. I look like I'm crazy and I ask for my paperwork. "Sorry? We're the ER and we don't take care of that stuff" Me: LOOK. You guys have been bouncing me around for the past 3 days. Whatever the he ll I have is there and I KNOW I HAVE SOMETHING. All I want are my lab results. I called the front office and they said they set the papers aside and I could grab them. Whoever is manning the main office is on a break or something bc their sign said to come here so don't tell me you cannot help me. I have a physical condition and it's driving me insane. I've been going batsh*t about this since Thursday (at this point it is Saturday). Nurse: OK we found your paperwork in the lab (didn't even ask for my ID) Me: Finally. Jesus. (I look at all my tests and they are all negative) WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEGATIVE??? I can't even sit down and I have to cry my own eyes out when I pis s?????? You mean to tell me that I trust the fing system for once and you tell me to go blow myself when I'm in physical pain? I need to be looked at? Where even is the herpes and trichomoniasis tests???? (the basic tests the doc gives you for stds are gonn, chl, syph, and hiv) Nurse: You have to ask for them Me: Can I have then please?? What buzz words am I missing? What part about THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I NEED HELP do none of you get? Nurse: Ask your doctor. Me: Yeah on a weekend. What help. Nurse: All your tests came back negative????? What's the problem?? Me: There is clearly something wrong and I am SCREAMING FOR HELP and you, someone who works at the hospital, are going to stand there behind that desk and tell me you can't help me? You're turning me away when I beg for help? Nurse: The results are negative... I just storm out at this point and I'm hysterically crying and screaming at the top of my lungs because I'm in full panic and manic mode. I don't know where to turn. I go home for my dad's help and he takes my car away because I'm so upset (we have been on somewhat of a break bc of this whole fiasco and I've been staying with my friend) that I start frantically calling my friend and looking up bus schedules (she lives 20 miles away and such). She tells me to lay low and I'm ready to kill someone, if not myself because of how frantic I am. My dad doesn't understand this and it's absolutely aggravating because I originally went to him to vent and what I got was a lecture and a threat to kick me out of the house. After I left the hospital, I made the even bigger mistake of asking for a hug because he made me come inside and listen to him lecture for a f/ing hour, and then I was stranded and no buses were going at that point (it was like 8pm and hours are shorter on weekends). Next day I drive out to my friend's and the whole day I'm suffering and trying to work horses (I'm a 3 day event rider and my friend is a horse trainer, I'm her groom/assistant) and move items from farm to farm without passing out or upsetting the sock in my crotch. Next morning, yesterday (MONDAY 2/25/19) I call my actual doctor's office and demand that I see her today. They fit me in a 2pm spot. I take a shower and 10 minutes later I get a text and call from the reception saying doctor is out because she has the god da mn F L U. At this point I'm ready to give up. I have to put socks on my vagina so that the lesions don't touch each other and leak, I cry when I use the bathroom and I'm still scared to use the bathroom because of the infinite pain. I have no clue why I didn't do this in the first place, but my friend lives by a Planned Parenthood and so I marched my as s over there and I asked to be physically looked at and such. They fit me in. Nurse (one that checks you in, not the real doctor) asked me what symptoms were and what I've been taking, if anything. There's a medication that's made for humans but given to horses called SMZ. It's a STRONG antibiotic and my friend has Hashimoto's so her and her mom (her mother is my horse's farrier lol) told me at the very least take SMZ 3 times a day. I figure why the h ell not because it's not like anything will get worse. It just stopped the heavy slippery discharge, nothing else. So she admits me to the scary room with the freaky foot pedals, and I've never even seen a f uc king gyno? I don't know what to do but start hysterically crying. Doctor comes in ten minutes later and she tells me that she has to take a culture swab. The fact that I had just pis sed and disposed of my sock, opening all my lesions, I can barely even wipe my own as s. I'm sitting there crying hysterically telling her not to judge me because I made a stupid decision to have unprotected sex with a sh itty guy. She tells me she's gonna touch me with the testing swabs and the moment she touches me I'm crying and screaming at the top of my lungs PLEASE STOP PLEASE PLEASE STOP STOP STOP IT HURTS. I don't know why she thought this was a smart idea to tell me this but she straight up told me AND I QUOTE!!!!! "This is the worst and most severe case of herpes I have ever seen. I've been doing this for 36 years." Well that's awesome, I'm another statistic. I can't believe me it took 1 second to tell me I had herpes when I had been driving myself clinically insane for the since the last Thursday (this lasted Thursday to Monday). She gave me my medications and gave me a name of some supplements, and told me about socks being a good idea and whatever, pour water on myself when I pee so that it washes everything away, blah blah. Gives me my papers and I go back to my friend to confirm I have this fu cked up incurable disease. All the stress prior was gone. Done with my tears. I'm almost done with my first day of taking the meds. They feel a bit better. Unfortunately I'm on a time limit because I can't physically ride in this major horse show if I can't even sit on a still object. Hoping this at least stops feeling so painful by Thursday for my dressage test on Friday. thanks for listening the doctor at PP suggested I find one so I don't feel so alone
  13. dontknowhowimhere

    need some help

    I'm hoping someone can help me find this thread or tell me if it is even possible from the email below. Begin forwarded message: From: Date: July 6, 2009 at 08:48:01 EDT To: Subject: Please read this when you have a few minutes. This is a websight that has information about our situation. It is real people who are actually living with this...not just information that is based on "worst case scenario" type scenarios. I started the thread last night and these are my responses so far. http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?t=18692 I know you are at work and you probably shouldn't get into this until you go home...and I don't mean to pressure you, but for my own emotional stability, I need to know how you are reacting to this pretty quickly. I have decisions to make and a limited time to make them in. If this really isn't something that you can deal with then I need to know. I am a strong person and I have been through the fire before...but this is different and I need to know what direction to start moving in so that ………….. and I can continue to survive. I feel horrible. I am so sorry. This should have been dealt with from the very beginning. I should have given you the opportunity to say "hell no" and we both could have gone our separate directions. Remember though...this is something that 1 out of 5 people have...up to 70% don’t have any symptoms...when you do show signs they amount to little more than a skin aliment (online photos's are the absolute worst cases). Would you have been/are you willing to walk away from a family because of a virus that is so common and so mild that most people don't even know they have it? I am willing to work through your fears with you and pay my penance for lying about this. But I don't think it would be helpful in the long run, or lend to the healthiness of a life long marriage, for myself to always feel as if I were disgusting to you...to be reminded that you saw me as "diseased" every time we were to make love...to never feel sexy and attractive but only "contaminated" and "infectious". If that is truly how you see me now...if the knowledge of this virus has erased or overshadowed everything else that you see about me until all that is left is herpes...then I think you should be honest with yourself and me about that. It will save us hurt and heartbreak and divorce in the long run. I can't put ……………….through any of that again and I will not bring another innocent life into a situation that is bound for divorce and life long hurt. I love you and I feel like a terrible person for creating this situation. I am so sorry that I wasn't honest in the beginning. I don't blame you for feeling however you feel, we are all entitled to our feelings and we both are entitled to make whatever decisions are best for us individually. If you can't see me as a sexy, desirable woman anymore...then I get that. Just please be honest with me about it so that I can make my own decisions regarding what type of life I choose for myself. I would rather live alone and in poverty for the rest of my life then be trapped in a sexless and resentment filled marriage, feeling alone and unwanted. I've done that one before and I will never go back to that again. I don't know what else to say. I love you and I am so, so sorry. I can't help that I got this disease as a scared, alone and self-destructive teenager...but I should have been honest from the beginning. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
  14. Hi I'm losing more hair than usual and not on any suppressive meds. Was wondering if anyone else experienced this hsv2 diagnosis or even hsv1 diagnoses If so how did you solve the problem? Thank you.
  15. Ive been going through hell, itchy tailbone, clear discharge, difficulty urinating, pain on tip of penis dull back pain and now this rash..Please someone help. I cant take it! Ive been tested but it was negative. Maybe too early idk just please help.
  16. I was just recently diagnosed with HSV1 but the outbreak is on my vagina and I do not have any cold sores on my mouth. I thought it was ok to kiss the man I've been dating and give him oral since I don't have any sores on my mouth. But now both he and I are panicking that I may have passed it to him unknowingly. What exactly is the risk? What should I do? What should he do? I just started taking the medication today and we were kissing last night. I feel so stupid for not knowing it could still present a risk.
  17. Hi guys I am worried if I got herpes. I have gone to the doctor and they have all said I am fine, I recently had Oral sex from a girl I met. I had it done two times. The first time I was fine and the next time, I felt pain in my urine. Uti tests and stds tests expect for Herpes was done and I was good. The pain went away but I have these red sores and I am confused if they are anything? The doctor said they are normal but I just want some feedback. Thank you guys please comment. My pictures are there https://ibb.co/mV8jbp https://ibb.co/jqnubp https://ibb.co/fGze99 https://ibb.co/dP6gNU https://ibb.co/m9Sz99 https://ibb.co/jcfK99 https://ibb.co/nbg4bp https://ibb.co/kxv82U https://ibb.co/enKCU9
  18. TaylorNicks


    Hello! I’m new here, I found out about 8 months ago that I am living with Herpes. I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. I was infected last January. I was out with friends and went to an after party at a mutual friends, friends, party. I ended up getting drugged and raped. I woke up the next morning, covered in my own blood and in an unfamiliar place. Once I got home, I realized I had the worst pain in my genital area. Later to get tested and be positive for herpes. It’s one thing to have herpes, it’s another to have received them through rape. Anyway, When I found out, I didn’t tell my boyfriend, I was unsure how he would react. It came out one night when I was drunk and he was so angry with me. We are still together and moving to a new state together. But he continues to bring up the fact that I have it and he is terrified he’s going to get it. How can I comfort him, how can we get our relationship back to how it was before he knew? We used to be extremely sexually active (twice a day), now it’s like twice a month, with a condom. My boyfriend could not cope with the fact that i had it and that he still has not gotten it, he made me get a third test done for his satisfaction. Ive now had 4 tests done. Two came back slightly positive, like .2% over the “ inconclusive” results, one completely negative, and one positive. Help?? What does this mean? I have done research for a black market cure, has anyone else? I found one that is being studied in the Caribbean and Mexico. Has anyone else seen anything else about this? Or know any homeopathic cures? Thanks for your help. And for reading this long post!
  19. lilyray123

    Conflicting herpes results

    So i thought i had genital herpes and i still might, my doctor said i did but my blood test came back negative. i had all the symptoms and have been taking the medicine and feel much better. but now idk what to do. so i’m not going to know my results for a little while because of the swab and the person i’m alsmot positive gave it to me is my boyfriend of 3 months. there’s no way i could’ve got it anyway else on my genatils. but i don’t know what can cause what meaning can i have oral sex with him? i wouldn’t let me to me but i would to him and i’m confused if i should or not
  20. I have been living with Genital Herpes for over a year. I know when it’s about to come ruin my week by the tingles and itches and I know when to take my antivirals. I have been dating and sleeping with one man since October. He knows I have herpes and our sex life has been wonderful and ALWAYS safe. Condoms and occasionally I take my antivirals when I feel an outbreak coming. No sex during outbreaks. Today he found a strange cut on his penis. It’s circualr. He questioned if it looked similar to mine but it’s hard to tell. Only one. He felt zero symptoms. Nothing. No pain urinating or itching. Like I said, nothing. He’s getting tested soon but I wanted to come here for some quick advice!! I’m looking for anyone who knows about a males first out break or any at all.. what are the symptoms? Compared to a female? Could I have given him this life changing STD? Please help soothe my mind. All opinions welcome.
  21. imtryingmybest

    Just Diagnosed

    Wow. So, I just got the test results about an hour ago. After calling my mom and sobbing uncontrollably, I did some reading. I read a lot about other women's experiences, and also ended up on this website. Needless to say, I am incredibly upset about it. I feel disgusting. Dirty, gross, like nothing. The worst part: I don't know who gave it to me. I have had more than one sexual partner this past month, and frankly, it is going to be fucking hard to tell them. I don't know how I am going to tell these people, how they will react, if they will tell our friends. Who will I be known as? Who will I become? I'm concerned about future relationships. How to tell those future boyfriends. Will anyone ever love me? I don't want this to become who I am, but right now in the moment, it's hard. Luckily, I am getting medication and seeing a therapist next week. I think that will help. I'm shattered. I'm currently in college, and this is going to be a chip on my shoulder for a while. It almost sucks not having other people know, because they have no idea how hard this is or what I'm going through-- getting diagnosed, all the symptoms, etc. For now, I'm going to try and just take each day at a time. Morale is low, will to live is low, but we always make it to tomorrow. Always. It's never the end, and I don't want this to be the end. Anyways, here I am: needing support, and also ready to give it.

    Need Advice

    *****PLEASE READ****** *****HELP NEEEDED***** *****TIPS & ADVICE NEEDED**** Alright, so I'm 20, and about a month and a half ago I hooked up with a girl from work, deffinalty the lowest my standards have ever got but she's not ugly she's just really, really immature and to be honest she's blatantly dumb. But we hooked up once, and the whole reason after I took her home the next day I lost motivation to pursue anything more than that one time was because we had sex 2 times that night and once in the morning and I wore a condom but(excuse my language but,) bitch didn't take a fucking shower after any of the 3 times. I took a shower after the second time went to sleep woke up had sex, showered-(she later told people we work with that I was the weird one because showered to much)-because just like the majority of people, I feel the need to shower after sex just to not feel dirty all day afterwords. And then around a week and a half later i got what I thought was a zit, I tried to pop it not thinking anything of it when it wouldn't pop I just forgot about it and went to sleep. The next day I woke up with what I thought was an abcess due to the fact that I used to be strung out and addicted to IV drugs for about 2 years before I moved away and checked into a actual hospital for rehab so I couldn't leave because drug addiction is a treatable mental Illness in west virginia, I had previously had an abcess in the same spot the "assumed zit" appeared due to amphetamines, that was about a year ago that I had the abcess drained at a hospital in NC so I went to the hospital here and tell them I have an abcess and it looked like an abcess so i can't blame the Dr for also thinking it was one and giving medicine instead of draining due to it not being large enough to puncture I guess. Then a few days pass and the sore started oozing and hurting and somehow the tip of my nose and just under my left eyebrow also formed (less severe but still a bit large for comfort) slightly less oozing; red sores. So I go back to the hospital as any alarmed adult would, and I tell them the abcess had to of got infected bla bla bla and the new doctor looked at it and said that it was herpes, and did some kinda test I forgot what exactly because during all this I had a alarmingly high fever, but she put a IV in my arm and started some antiviral meds they give to children and had offered me a mild pain pill through IV to help the pain because it truly had me shaking and in a bit of pain but i declined the offer because I'm an addict and always will be but I haven't used an IV since june or done anything but drink one or 2 days a week and i smoked weed untill i smoked alone while having the fever attempting to feel better, and then i swear on everything i thought a shirt hanging on my door was talking to me for a half hour and I struggled to ignore the shirt but I knew it was in my head I just very very high fever and felt awful, but had no ride because it was atleast 12 or 1, so I just decided to stop all together. To continue after the hospital the Dr prescribed me lidocaine, acalyvoir, suggested orajel, staying away from certain foods, wrote me 3 days out of work and sent me on my way. 3 days after my sore beside my mouth is still large, oozing, painful, and nothing I tried after researching was helping, so I had to go to the hospital again for the 3rd time and told the doctor what was going on but I left the shirt talking incident out because I knew better than to sound crazy. The doctor then examined the sore and the small sores inside my lip that formed because oddly enough the sore beside my mouth oozed nonstop flowing INTO MY MOUTH, AND ONTO my lip causing sores in mouth and making my lip to get very hard and lightly brown film-like coating that I could easily just remove with no sores beneath, like I could visibly see the oozing liquid come from the sore and flow directly in to the side/corner of my mouth, and even down my throat. it was very very disturbing and I've tried finding a similar story and haven't heard of that happening to anyone else or atleast not going into the mouth sideways, which is alarming. But the doctor then gave me more lidocain at the hospital and told me to try to keep it as dry as possible which I had already been doing thanks to information online, and wrote me out of work for 7 days so I go back home and continue to do what I had done for the previous 4 days, lay in my bed lights off watching tv taking medicine and feeling like less than a human being. I've been homeless living in a car with 3 other people using heroin and amphetamines tbrough IV drugs multiple times a day for 2 months straight commuting crimes just to get high and still that didn't even come close to comparing to as low as I felt the entire 11 days I had to be off work due to a std I got from someone who barely has symptoms, that knew they had it, being the least attractive girl ive been with, and the only girl I've been with since febuary this year. I mean i was mad at her but I know that I'm responsible for my actions I shouldn't have done it in the first place but I did so it is what it is. So I not only felt like trash, in pain, and not healing at all as expected, I was also blaming myself in order not to blame her completely due to me having to see her almost every day at work and I can't purposely be mad at her because eventually I know I would end up blowing up causing a huge scene, and possibly losing my job because I would say some terrible things so I basically act like I don't wanna smack the fuck out of the girl who I later learned does extacy, and fucks strangers for fun spreading herpes while i actually suffer and pay rent making 7.25, constantly at war with my own thoughts, and now have to worry about an outbreak happening during my random panics, especially when I have panic dreams because I can literally do nothing to stop them. But I laid in bed till the day before I could come back to work and by then it had scabbed but deffinalty shouldn't have soaked it in water and removed it but I couldn't stand it and I didn't think about it leaving a red area for as long as it has but it was atleast healed, lightly tingles rarely everyday but I thought nothing of it at first, I get back to work at the restaurant I work at and felt obligated morally and felt responsible to tell the truth when asked due to just how I feel about the possibility of spreading it and how I think keeping it secret could be harmful to anyone, not likely but atleast possibly harmful.so I made the first herpes joke on myself and took control of the situation instead of keeping it secret and feeling even more shame than I did already, and it's a little embarrassing but so are the injection sight scars(track mark scars) on my arms and I live with them and always been open about addiction with NO SHAME because its a huge part of my life, due to starting doing painpills atleast half of every week at 12 years old, so it didn't really bother me being open. But if course I eventually got enough shit from people to where it had me feeling down a little but I just kept it to myself and a day or 2 later I thought about how all the people making crude jokes, not haha jokes but just rude intended to belittle-me type of jokes are all around 30+ and make minimum wage or a quarter more just like i do at 20, that helped me quickly stopped caring about the few fucked up jokes, but I couldn't wait for the red marks of previous scars on my eyebrow, nose-tip, and beside mouth to go away and they didn't for 2 weeks and barely got better, I got stressed one day at work and in my mind it was getting worse, a friend said it looked the same but I knew it was itching a bit too much for me not to freak out about it so after work I went to the hospital after having basically an anxiety/panic attack that made it worse positively. So another doctor comes in for visit #4 and feels (with gloves) on my ears, knees, and elbows that were inflamed and examined the red spots and called another doctor in to look with him along with a nurse, and they said without a doubt that I was "in the beginning or a mild impetigo infection", so they gave me bactroban, a bunch of allergic reaction meds, and also informed me that (due to him knowing me previously to a heart valve and blood Infection I had before i went to rehab due to the drugs and mainly the IV drugs) is a large factor in why I have had such a difficult time fighting the herpes virus, and preventing the impetogo virus. It's been a month and a half since contact with the virus and a little over a month since the start of this awful, awful, outbreak all 3 red marks are still there, even tingle once every couple days and I've been taking 3 different meds and using bactroban creme religiously and its helped it shrink in size but only very little, but atleast it's noticeably smaller. If anyone has ever been through anything resembling what I've went and am going through, or have any tips, online products, or anything please, please, please reply and let me know because I'm positive its more likely and would be easier for another herpes outbreak to come back quicker with the red marks still being there Instead of gone. I'm constantly in a state of accepting depression, and constant anxiety, and a little bit too much stress. I really want to be safe and not even chance spreading this, and possibly putting anyone through the pain and sadness I felt for all those days with the open sore that was always oozing rapidly into my mouth.. I've basically accepted to just take as long as it takes being alone, and honestly depressed for as long as it takes before I feel good enough about myself to try dating again, and even then I know it'll be difficult because I intend on being open about the virus upfront before the possibility of anyone getting feelings and end up just ruining things after putting so much work and everything Into a relationship. Ik most people have it and don't know it but I do know that I have it, and I truly refuse to feel responsible for anyone going through all this on top of knowing even if they don't show symptoms that they'll spread it to someone who eventually will. I lose enough sleep over my past and who I was and what Ive done as an addict to people and the damage I've done to myself, and stress constantly about day to day life, and past experiences, to lay awake thinking about how I couldnt live with myself knowing spreading a lifelong virus to people. people often spread it to there children and children's immune systems are week as well, and no child deserves any outbreak or a lifetime virus that could make them feel bad about themself through no fault of there own. I overthink everything but I can't get medication for anxiety and stress because every time I try they say the same thing; "due to your history with drugs we don't feel comfortable giving you a abuseable medicine just so you don't cause your herpes to act up" and it's fair I guess.. I understand atleast maybe not fair, but I've even went to a psych and i said that and I truly need something to help me feel at ease because I was already barely-stable before the herpes but as you can tell since my first outbreak i have been in the worst mental place I've ever been. I even risked getting commuted by telling a Dr at a family Dr apt that I had a fever smoked weed then had to ignore the shirt that I thought was really talking to me for half an hour and was almost in tears while telling her, it really scared me knowing i most likely have it in my eye and knowing it could spread to the brain, but i believe it was more likely to be caused by the high fever. But like usual she basically wrote me off like I was just a junkie wanting free drugs like most Dr's think immidiatly. And on top of thinking I didn't really need help and just wanted to get high she said "if you really heard voices you should see a mental health Dr about being skitzofrenic" so i just left. If you've read all this you're a trooper, ive felt like i had to get everything out to somehow get help but telling Drs got me absolutely nothing but creme and judgement, but I really really need as much help, advice, and tips as I could get. Thank you!
  23. Hey everyone! I've seen a various posts across various forums regarding disclosing (or not) and have seen a bit of a trend in people thinking that it's 'hard to pass' with one encounter (lol) condoms make it impossible to pass, blah blah blah. So let's just try to compile some short & sweet answers to some basic H transmissions stories and questions...Could be helpful in many ways to lots of people! 1. Did your giver: show symptoms / asymptomatic / disclose H to you? 2. Protected or unprotected? Oral/vaginal/anal? 3. How many encountrs with giver? (time frame of encounters ie. one weekend of several months?) 4. How were you diagnosed? (swab or blood test) 5. Are you a symptomatic carrier (showed signs ie. outbreak) or asymptomatic (never showed signs, diagnosed by blood work) 6. How long from sexual exposure did you start to show symptoms? 7. How long did your primary outbreak last? How frequent have your recurrences been? (ie. one a month/year?) 8. How long have you been H+? 9. Are you on antivirals only during outbreak or suppressive therapy? Or have you gone the natural route? 10. Words or wisdom/support for newbies? ********** I'll go first... 1. No visible signs of H. Asymptomatic carrier not diagnosed with at the time so no disclosure. 2. Unprotected vaginal/oral. 3. 2x in a weekend (Friday night and Sunday morning) 4. Positive swab test during terrify primary outbreak. 5. Symptomatic HSV2+ 6. Friday/Sunday sex; initial first symptoms started Tuesday and quickly got aggressive. (in hospital by next Sunday) 7. OB lasted a few weeks. Cleared up, then I had a couple minor recurrences due to alcohol in following weeks but MINOR in comparison (just more annoying not excruciatingly painful) still working through this ATM. 8. I was infected Mar9/18 - diagnosed with Mar23/18. 9. Antivirals during primary OB; lots of supplements and vitamins every day now and have changed my diet. 10. It does get better. Not back to normal better, but better. Take care of yourself and do whatever it needs for you to heal physically and emotionally. Find a good friend/family member/counsellor to confide in to help lessen the burden you are carrying. Get wine drunk with a friend and cry all night. Go to the top of a mountain and scream at the top of your lungs. Amazon shop till you max out your credit card buying things that make you happy. Hope this can help some peope! Love & light everyone! x
  24. Mrspinkk

    Horrendous itching :(

    Hi everyone I feel very unhappy I feel a lot of itching in my vagina for 3 months. The itching is unbearable and I can not deal with it anymore.. Is it normal to be so severe itching during Outbreak ? Please help I do not know what to do
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