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  1. Hi y’all! So this past year has been a mind f*%# and emotionally taxing, especially since my partner and I found out we’re both hsv2 positive (I took a blood test and it came back as hsv1 and hsv2 positive), in august. It came as a huge shock and it’s taken a toll on our intimacy and sex life, because we’re just not really sure how to approach sex again with this diagnosis. If anyone has advice for feeling comfortable and safe to be intimate again, please share! Obviously we want to have our intimacy back but have been feeling stunted in that area. The doctor that diagnosed us did not give us any information at all about how to move forward. Would really appreciate some help with this.
  2. TheKittiesTitties

    Advice for an experiment needed!

    Hello all! Feels good to be back and to be alive! So, since I've been on this last, life has taken a drastic turn. Mostly for the better. My outbreak count has diminished greatly, although when they do happen, the little bastards make up for lost time. My mental health has improved alot. I've been sober for over 2 years and I have a feeling that has help tremendously in my physical and mental outlook. And lastly, I've got a girlfriend. We've been together for almost 3 years and we are looking ever so forward to our future. However.... She dosen't know. We've restrained from having sex this entire time and alot has to do with my ability to keep her at bay. Not an easy task when your in love with a sexy girl who is madly in love with you. We however have found ways to get our kicks. I go down on her almost every day and she loves it. She jacks me off and somewhat does oral through my shorts or pjs. Either way we both cum and usually in each other's faces. Life is just dandy. I'm as paranoid as ever but have developed a routine to keep my worries at bay. Cleanliness is a major key to my sanity and/or insanity. Gloves have become my best friend and it seems to be a fulfilling relationship. I've been warming up to telling her and I have a good feeling about it. We are on the same page and we are totally devoted to each other. Sex is something we look forward to but in my head it's my biggest fear. That's where the "experiment" comes in. My hypothesis is as follows: If it goes over well, and only if, I want to have sex with her, but with a series of "protectants". I've been researching condoms use and its effectiveness on hsv. That combined with an antiviral dosage and as far as I can tell, it's more than capable of warding off her contracting hsv. But it is only transferable through skin to skin contact, right?? Well here's the kicker, I've devised a series of boxers and tighty whities with small holes cut in the crotch. With all of them on, my groin, thighs and partial stomach is covered. Before I put them on one by one, I put on a condom (maybe 2, let me know your thoughts on whether that is an effective idea) and put my penis through each of the holes one by one. By the time the last pair is in, the bottom ring of the condom is covered, thus no skin is showing and the surrounding skin is covered in a thick cotton cocoon of a fruit of the loom diaper. Seems good in theory, but I need some advice from you all in whether it will work and would it be effective. Let know what you think and your advice. Thank you, TheKittiesTitties
  3. My girlfriend and me, are HSV 2. 6 months I have been positive. My girlfriend 8 months. We both have IGG positive hsv 2 and have a month of relationship. My only symptoms are itching attacks every 3-4 weeks, I donthave sores, vesicles, or ulcers. She has itching attacks and sometimes mild discharge every month. Our question is, having sex without a condom can make the virus get stronger by mixing genetic material in each contact. Or can it make the tables worse? What is symptomatic? Thanks
  4. So, I found some one who was willing to have sex with me .( He doesn't have HSV2 or 1. ) I hadn' t had sex for over 7 months. I am really disappointed. It did not go well. The condoms didn't make it any safer. They kept falling off or slipping down, Its just not safe sex at all. Plus, He couldn't stay erect. He couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel anything... Maybe from the lubrication I had to use so I wasn't rubbed raw to cause an outbreak. So we had to stop every time. We tried for 4 days. It just wouldn't work. The last day he thought it was Ok to have anal unprotected and just did it. I didn't stop him. I thought he knew it wasn't safe but didn't care. ( so that was the only good sex we had) The next day he said he thought it was safe and I had to tell him it wasn't. There is no point to have sex anymore if I can't get oral either. I tried a barrier over and it was pointless and I felt nothing. And the whole 4 days I was obsessing and checking my vagina to make sure I didn't have any Obs to infect this guy, And everyday , even while taking AVS, i still "felt" sensations or something that is herpes-like, like I do every day. I had what turned out to be an ingrown hair that I wasn't sure about either .So 2 of the days I had to explain to him I wasn't quite sure and I handed him latex gloves. Total disaster. Pointless. pointless to risk his health for unfulfilling half-real sex He was a good sport though. He didn't get so scared. He was willing to try at least. He trusted me to know. But honestly, I don't see how I can be sure and know. I don't know when I am getting an oB- cuz everyday I have some issue that makes me think I am getting one. every. damn. day. Fuck this shit. I just want to cry and die. I want my old life back before this disease. I know the sex would have been awesome this past weekend if not for HSV.
  5. JustMe81

    I disclose right away

    I know some may judge me, but this is how I deal with disclosing. I always disclose btw. For any kind of partner. I only disclose to people that will get affected by it in some way. So only to men I am intimate with. I see no reason to tell my family or friends about it. It does not affect them in any way and honestly, while it's not really a secret, i do try to avoid having to deal with the ignorance of people. I disclose right away. To me, it is best to give the other person the chance to go away at the very beginning before I get attached and hurt. So I bring it up as soon as we start talking. This way they can decide what they wanna do and no one gets hurt. Does it bother me when people decide to move on? sure, it sometimes does, not a lot. But I am human and rejection does sting a bit. But this has worked best for me as a way of protecting myself. To me it is better to be with someone that knows 100% of me and willingly choose to stay. I have no problem answering questions from anyone and I am not looking to pass it to others either. But I do not want to complicate my life more than necessary. We already have enough emotional scarring from this. You guys tell me what you think or what you do.
  6. Hi I’m new to this website, it’s been a year since I found out I have HSV 2. My question is, how likely can genital herpes be spread during sex if the condom tore the skin of the vagina area and it was bleeding a tiny bit? I was intimite with a man recently and we used a condom, it ended up pulling and tearing a small cut on my vagina, towards the end he took the condom off and I didn’t know until afterwards... I am on a suppressive treatment. I take Valtrex once a day but I forget to take it sometimes. what are the chances of him getting it?
  7. I've known him for less than a month. I model &he is a young, handsome assistant photographer with whom I was in Mexico with for 5 days. I have been diagnosed with HSV2 for over a year now, but I have only had an outbreak twice within that year& I do take antiviral medication for it. He &I did not know eachother prior to Mexico, but we hit it off& as a single-mother who doesn't get out much I am guilty of making the first move by asking if it was cool to cuddle. I was actually really surprised he said yes, with that being said I do remember thinking to myself,"but I have herpes... okay, we will just cuddle, if he wants more, I will stop it, if I can't stop it I will just give him head." &though that may seem like a naive thought, I am 22 years old& he is the first guy I've ever "hooked-up" with. I've never had sex outside a relationship or several dates, before him. To add, I also do had a friend that I cuddled with, without sex, but I should have noted that I'm not attracted to that friend which is why that probably worked with him. So we did the deed, I didn't stop it, I let it happen because I selfishly wanted it so badly. I even forgot about my herpes for a good couple days after the act. When I looked in my cabinet to get something& saw my prescribed antiviral medication,I realized what I had done. I told him today, it's been 16days since the act. I was calm& explained to him that because he used a condom&I do take my antiviral medication there is only a 1-2% chance he could have gotten it from me. He didn't seem too upset,& he said he will get back to me after he gets tested &does some research. I promised to pay for the testing &anything else he is troubled with from this incident&at the end of the call he thanked me for telling him. I don't know if I should just back off for now to see how it goes, or if I should be checking-in on him often &sending him links to help him find accurate information on HSV2. I will be working with him again this Wednesday, for a collab photoshoot, but since I'm the one that hired him, I told him I understand if he decides to call it off, he said he won't let this affect his work. Only time can tell, but if there is anything else that you think I can do to ease whatever he may be going through at this time please be gentle with your suggestions. I know what I did was very wrong and I will never do it again, but it doesn't change what happened, I can't take that night back. Honestly, the sex was amazing, one of the best I ever had, and afterward we decided to start-off again as friends and I was okay with that. I felt normal for a moment, and I was extremely happy, but now I remember that I am not normal, and am extremely guilty for putting him at risk without his consent. I don't know if we can continue to be friends, but I do need advice on what I should do next. He said he will get tested next week and that he will also still do the photoshoot, but he also said he doesn't know how he feels about all this new information because he hasn't done the research on it. I know he will do the research, but with all the stigma I'm afraid his friends will only freak him out if he goes to them for advice, or that he may type the wording wrong in google to get negative results. I told him the facts, that it's common, that he has nothing to worry, but he should get tested, that it's less likely for women to transmit it to men, and even more unlikely with the medication and protection involved.... but what if he gets tested and it is positive? I asked him if he has hooked-up before, he is 24, and he said yes he has a few times.... so in reality, the thing is that he could have had herpes prior to meeting me, and not even had known it, but I didn't bring that up at all.... I'm not a promiscous person, but my relationship before this hook-up was with a promiscous man, which how I got this... I remember how I felt after finding out, I felt extremely betrayed because I trusted him and even after I knew 100% how I got and asked him about it, he still pretended he was clean.. He is not a good man, but this young man I hooked-up with for one night is a wonderful person, I can tell even if I hadn't known him the year I've known the other. I feel truly awful for what had happened, but I'm worried I may have played it too cool when I called and he may think I have no remorse for what I'd done, but I'm also worried if I text him now with a follow-up apology it will freak him out about the situation... What is my best option now?
  8. Dee22

    Sex after ob

    Hi, i have seen some posts on this. But thought i would ask. I think i may be having an ob. I started the anti virals. I have hsv 2. If i am ,how long is it safe for my body to wait to have sex. ?And to have it less contagious for the guy im seeing. There isnt anything that visable when i get an ob but its very sore so i know its happening. Should i wait two weeks ? Or if i feel better its ok? Let me know your thoughts please.
  9. Editorial source: http://www.healio.com/infectious-disease/stds/news/online/%7B31ed8b2f-7ebc-493d-861f-94056e5a294f%7D/risk-for-hsv-2-transmission-using-condoms-associated-with-gender Scientific Journal Source: Magaret AS, et al. Clin Infect Dis. 2015;doi:10.1093/cid/civ908. ^^^^^ Found that use of condoms for 911 couples over the course of 1000 sex acts (however they measured this) was 1.3 transmissions aka: 96% Reduction. Surely this is a larger percentage than what we have previously been led to believe? Thats an incredibly low percentage of transmission, in a controlled study. They found that men often shed mostly from the penile shaft, which is why they are so effective if the male partner is sero-positive. Add anti virals into this study and i bet you would have a 0% transmission (just a hunch) Thoughts?
  10. Hi new friends, I was just diagnosed with GHSV-1 4 days ago and my sores have completely healed. In fact, my vagina is almost completely back to normal and I'm at 2 weeks from the initial symptoms (I'm terrified another outbreak is coming). BUT my lymph nodes on the left side of my groin are the size of ping-pong balls and are incredibly painful, it feels like someone is having a campfire inside my lymph node. I look like a freaking idiot when I walk on campus because I have a slight limp in my step. Does anyone have any advice on how to reduce this pain? I've tried ice and I'm popping ibuprofen like I'm addicted to it. ALSO my boyfriend also tested positive so is it safe for us to continue having unprotected sex? I mean we both have it now (he's asymptomatic, friggin ass hole), so does it matter to have unprotected sex? Has anyone had experience with sex bringing on an OB? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.
  11. I found a new about condom that covers almost all genital area and it can be used to protect partner its like you wear boxer and condom but this looks better than wearing a boxer. Link: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19520563/scroguard/
  12. Curious1998


    So I have been diagnosed with Ghsv 1 and I was wondering far as sex goes should I use condoms for now on ? I know I shouldn’t have sex during any breakout of course. But after everything heals (far as breakouts) will I still need a condom ? Can I still receive oral or what? I tried looking up things online far as Ghsv 1 goes but didn’t get the answers I was looking for.
  13. kay_n

    Casual sex?

    So still getting used to all this and just was wondering if any of you still have like casual sex... like one night stands and things like that. Is that even a possibility anymore? And if so do you tell every person u hook up with even if u use protection? Or tell each person but do they still agree to wanting to hook up or do they get too freaked out? Just been wondering these things so if u have any info or experience id love to hear.
  14. I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 in September of 2016, and started taking valtrex daily, and ever since I have not had any kind of sex drive. I have a wonderful, loving, accepting boyfriend who does not judge or have a problem with having sex, despite my diagnosis. However, while I used to have a great sex drive, it is not low, or non-existent. I have started seeing a sex therapist but nothing has really changed. I even stopped valtrex last month to see if that could have been. Unfortunately, now I think I might be having a second outbreak so am likely going to get back on it... Am I alone in this? Do others have a low sex drive too? Could it be a side effect of valtrex? Could it be a physical reaction to the disease (mentally I feel ok--I don't really feel gross or broken or anything). Thanks!
  15. LalaJade

    Outbreak EVERY time I have sex

    I am at wits end. Everytime i have sex I get a ghsv1 ob the following day. I have been Valacyclovir 1g for over four months and still this is happening. I have graves disease (a type of hyperthyroidism) and after having my thyroid destroyed it stopped for about a month but now they are back weekly like clockwork. I have tried to cut down on stress, exercise, taking lysine daily. My Dr says there's nothing else I can do apart from live with it. Any ideas?
  16. Valstic

    First time

    I’ve been diagnosed for a month now and I take daily suppressive therapy. I haven’t had sex since finding out , but when I do decide to after notifying a partner how do I go about not transmitting it ?
  17. First off I’m sorry for the quality of the photos, it wasn’t easy to get a clear enough picture. I have this spot near my perineum. Don’t know how long it’s been there.. If I had to describe it I’d say it feels like a hard small lump. When I stretch the skin around it, it goes shiny and u can barely see it. Does anyone know what it is? I’m having a few issues down there just now as ive been diagnosed with Vulvodynia. I was in pain last week after sex and I don’t know if it was too much friction that’s caused it. I don’t know if it’s related. It doesn’t hurt or itch and I didn’t know it was there. Is it a herpes sore, or a wart? I’m done googling I’ll give myself nightmares.
  18. Okay I was just recently diagnosed wit ghsv1.. so I went through my firstborn OB about 2 weeks ago and wasn't even that bad. It's all cleared up now and has been for a week. I just had sex with someone 4 days ago, we started out with a condom then took it off in the middle of sex. Could I have possibly infected him though I'm having no symptoms at all? No.. I didn't tell him about my diagnosis Ik that's terrible.. but we've been hooking up for like 2 years now so I didn't think it was that important.. also I'd like to know how many OBs I should be expecting and possibly how often? I've used google like crazy for information but I just wanna hear from some people who have the same thing..
  19. "Is there sex after herpes or human papillomavirus? I wish that the culture didn’t do what it does with these things because I want you to know HPV and herpes are not nearly as big a deal as you’ve been led to believe they are. I’ve had countless young women and also men in my office who felt as though they had a big scarlet letter on their head when they were diagnosed with herpes." Dr. Northrup (even though I'm not sure about some of her other ideas) For the younger people...A “scarlet letter” is a stigma someone bears for a misdeed he or she has committed. The term often refers to an ongoing, public shame forced upon a person as a means of ostracizing him or her. Those branded with a scarlet letter feel the punitive vengeance of an unforgiving society. The term “scarlet letter” comes from the 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
  20. So I have been dating this guy for 1 1/2 years and he has HSV2. Prior to us being together I did not (or at least to my knowledge) have Hsv2. He was very brave and disclosed to me before we did anything sexual and I thought that was very brave and decided to give him a chance! We have sex regularly but I have not yet had an outbreak or anything. Does that most likely mean that I have it and if so can I spread it? Basically we've come to what I assume is the ending point of our relationship. I just want to know if it's safe for me to have sex with other people if we were to break up and not disclose to them since I don't have any signs yet. Or just what it's like dating after herpes. I feel like I'm just with this guy now because I'm afraid to enter back into the dating world with this hanging over my head.
  21. On Halloween, I got drunk (I this isn't an excuse) and slept with this guy I've been talking to for about a month now. I now feel completely guilty I didn't tell him that I have the herpes virus (I've only been recently diagnosed only about 1.5 months ago). I don't know what to say to him, or how to bring up that I have the virus in a conversation. Need help! Has anyone done this before and have stats/information I can tell him while trying to tell him.
  22. I am a female who was diagnosed with HSV 2 in October. I had abstained from sex until then as I was not seeing anyone consistently and wanted to stay on the safe side. I was getting quite of few outbreaks in November (not on suppressive meds), but I would only take valtrex at the first sign of an outbreak -for three days as it was prescribed to me. Luckily, December I did not get any and over the weekend I had went out. I was taking valtrex 500 mg 2x a day off and on during the week leading up to Fri. Long story short, Friday I went out drinking and ended up having sex. At first, I insisted on a condom which was used initially, but then we had sex one more time after without one and now I am so scared that he may have got something from me. I don't really know this guy, he is a mutual friend, but the thought of giving him something is killing me. I know my diagnosis is fairly new so I'm not sure how contagious I am right now. I really try to eat super healthy and exercise regularly. I hardly go out, drink or do drugs...only occasionally and this was one of those occasions. Extremely scared. Please help. Thanks.
  23. Arianamiller

    Casual sex with hsv1?

    Everytime i read stories on here about disclosing to partners they have herpes they seem to be potentional boyfriends, so i was just curious if anyone on here has casual sex or random hook ups and how they handle that situation and some stories??? Especially young people because we all know it's almost impossible knowadays for young men to want anything serious.... (i have hsv1 genital) i'd like too hear some positive stories cause i feel like if i don't get back into having casual sex i might stay abstinent and alone for many many years lol thanks in advance!
  24. So been having itching sensation in my pubic and scrotum area for over 3 months, I have had sex with the same girl for over a year, Just recently about a month ago i started to have warm feelings in my thigh area with still constant itching in my scrotum area and pubic hair area. I also have lower back pain. I have been tested for HSV Lgg 1 and 2. HSV1 came out positive 5.00 ( I have had cold sores on my lip since I was a kid). HSV-2 came out negative 0.67.. I have been tested for all STD's and all came back negative. I remember a while back when we started to have sex. I noticed very small pimples that would eventually go away i didn't have to pop them and they would come out everywhere I have pubic hair. I went to multiple doctors and they said it was hair folliculitis and I was treated for that. Multiple medications and creams later it did not work. Then a dermatologist said it was molluscum contagiosum. His creams and treatment did not work. They eventually went away, but would randomly pop up months later. didn't hurt or anything, but now I have itchy testicles, red scrotum, constant lower back pain, warm feeling in thigh, and sometimes I itch all over my body. I dont know what to do and Im just tired of these symptoms. Should I take a western blot test?
  25. Hey so don't know if I post this here but whatever. I have had genital h for a some years now, take my meds, been monogamous with my now husband and he has never contracted it. He is 1 of 2 ppl I had to disclose this personal diagnosis to, the other person decided not to see me anymore...which of course hurt me, but just getting to the point, while I'm young, is there any chance of having a no strings attached threesome after disclosing this diagnosis to prospective attractive lovers or am I being unrealistic? I can't shake the shame I felt after telling guy #2...
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