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  1. Hi. I've never participated in a genital herpes forum, but realized that after many years with the condition, I've never asked key questions. Never really had to, but now I'm curious. I caught genital herpes from my husband (then boyfriend), who got it from his first wife. My husband (then boyfriend or even perhaps fiance) never told me he had herpes until I complained about sores on my genitals. He looked at them and then confessed he had it and likely passed it on to me. He was lucky I already loved him dearly, so didn't really get mad at him for not saying anything. He said he didn't think I'd get it since it was not "active" during our sex. I went to my gynecologist and just looking at it she said it was surely genital herpes. She did test it (Ouch!) and her initial diagnosis was confirmed. My husband only has flare ups of his genital herpes perhaps 4-6 times per year. I have it even less often, and oddly almost always as a rash on my butt. He always gets it on his genitals. In fact, since my first signs of genital herpes (initially on my genitals), I've only ever experienced the flare ups on my genitals a couple of times over the last 23 years. It's always the rash on my butt, and on the same side. Both my husband and I take 1 gram pills of Valtrex "as needed" only. The rash on my butt usually disappears quickly if I start the Valtrex quickly. I usually only need to take the Valtrex for about 1 to 1.5 weeks for it to completely disappear without a trace. I wonder, if I had sex with a man without herpes, would he be just as vulnerable at getting it if he had no contact with the rash on my butt? When I get the rash, there is usually never any signs of it on my genitals. Under normal circumstances, I would not even be thinking about sex with another man. I love my husband dearly, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. However, my husband has had severe ED for a number of years now. He's almost 14 years older than me. We've lived with that situation, but I wonder about the possibility in the future of having some sexual relationship (namely intercourse) with another man, either with an understanding of it being casual, or if anything ever split my husband and I. I know then that I would need to communicate my situation with genital herpes. It's a real bummer (no reference to my butt rash), that I got this stupid herpes basically from my husband's first wife. C'est la vie! However, unlike my husband, I know I should be honest with any future other sexual partners.
  2. Hi I’m new to this website, it’s been a year since I found out I have HSV 2. My question is, how likely can genital herpes be spread during sex if the condom tore the skin of the vagina area and it was bleeding a tiny bit? I was intimite with a man recently and we used a condom, it ended up pulling and tearing a small cut on my vagina, towards the end he took the condom off and I didn’t know until afterwards... I am on a suppressive treatment. I take Valtrex once a day but I forget to take it sometimes. what are the chances of him getting it?
  3. SureWhyNot

    Now That You Know

    I had a less than desirable upbringing with uneducated parents that did not know the importance of communication beyond, "do as I say not as I do." I was tossed into the world very young without knowing about sexually transmitted disease beyond the two common ones, syphilis and gonorrhea, that a bout of penicillin cures so nothing to worry about just make jokes of. I was over 25 before I heard of Aids, just started talking then. I always went to a clinic for testing after I finished a relationship. I had no idea hsv was not in the routine testing and I did not ask my new partner about cold sore history as I was more focused on my g hsv2 and how to protect them. That was dumb as it turned out 2 had cold sores from childhood and thought nothing of it. I have always told my close friends about my hsv and how prominent it is. What to watch for and that it is not obvious so ask the questions. In fact I recommended testing and paperwork proof. Little did I know that meant nothing. Turns out medicine keeps it's own secrets. I do not have children or family that I know so it has been different for me but I wonder what others do now that you know about this virus and how it works. Do you believe with the numbers there are of us, who are aware, that perhaps we could have something to do with slowing down the infection rate and removing the stigma? The fact there is a cure for the others has made them a joke but before the cure people died horrible deaths so only time has shown the story around them. I applaud those who stand bravely in front of the www and declare they are infected by a common virus and are doing whatever they can to educate others to protect them. I hope that by telling those I did it gave them more awareness as they had someone to relate to, not just something abstract you hear about "because that is not going to happen to me"! Do you educate your children or young family members who are going into the fray? Do you put the fear of disease into their minds or do you talk openly as if this is an aspect of life that is there, just like not picking up and petting stray animals? Do you feel having hsv is your responsibility? Are you so angry that you cannot see that your nightmare might be something that can save another soul from your hell? I get it takes time to deal and absorb the life long ramifications of this dis ease. I have had my time and I always appreciate those shots when someone here says I am happy with my dis ease or nice that it doesn't affect me. I wonder what others are doing beyond railing against a system that does not give them a pill to make this go away. Are you using this time wisely????
  4. Can hsv be spread by kissing someone on the neck while having a coldsore? Does there have to be a cut on the neck in order for this to happen?
  5. Soooo I messed up. I applied some coconut to my cold sore and didn’t wash my hands. Then I proceeded to get dressed for work. Now I’m wondering, if I touched my vagina while I was getting dressed (like tucking in my shirt or something) could I have transmitted the disease to my genitals? Or would the coconut oil have killed the virus that was on my fingertips? I do have anxiety and cannot stop thinking about the possibility of transmitting HSV1 to my genitals. I know I should have washed my hands immediately and I realize that I messed up. Please help. Quote Edit
  6. Hi guys!!! It's coming up to a year since I contracted HSV2 and what a terrific day that was... Things have come a long way since then and I've managed to keep my OB's under control etc., but tbh it's still a constant psychological battle everyday. However, this might be down to the fact that I'm only 22 and I haven't had a relationship since my diagnosis. Anyway, I come here to ask what oral HSV2 symptoms would be, if there are any? Since my diagnosis I have developed a clicky neck, crackling and clicky ears, tinnitus, dizziness and strange sensations that radiate from my ears out towards my neck, side of my face and the back of my head. All the symptoms are exacerbated when I drink alcohol (sometimes even one glass!) and I feel like I can't breathe due to my nose becoming stuffy and suddenly feel very heady and dizzy. I've seen a ear, throat and nose specialist who said I have no infection or fluid in my ears as well as no signs of sinus issues. So it must be more internal?! These symptoms have been ongoing for months now. I'm not stressed and everything par having herpes is amazing in my life! So I come to my own conclusion that it could be herpes related. Three months into my diagnosis I remember I accidentally scratched the inside of my nose after touching my sores down there. I also remember a huge spot appearing inside my ear not shortly after. I didn't think anything of this but now I'm questioning whether this has anything to the symptoms affecting my ears, nose, neck and head. I'm absolutely tired of these symptoms as they affect my concentration and focus at work, plus I can't enjoy a nice drink with my friends without feeling like I can't breathe. I really would appreciate any advice or hear of similar experiences you might of had. All the best, Jude
  7. OK, so I was diagnosed about four years ago. Still not sure exactly who gave it to me, the two most likely suspects denied it and it's never been worth it to me to push the issue. I was in my mid 30s at the time. Female, I have no other STD experiences. I'm an information junkie. One of those people that needs to have all of the information on a topic, especially if it's something affecting my health. I had a total mental breakdown when I was diagnosed but had the benefit of one of my best friends finding out she had HSV-2 a couple of years prior. My first outbreak was terrible, and I didn't bother going to the doctor to get Valtrex because I was so mortified. My best friend finally came over after literally four weeks maybe five weeks of battling and gave me some Valtrex. It was basically one outbreak but went on for weeks and was just miserable. I didn't have any blisters internally, but all over my rectum and inner/outer labia as well as inner groin area. Based on everything I had read, I thought I would be in for misery for the rest of my life. Everything said if your first outbreak is severe, you will be the type of person that will suffer with very regular outbreaks. I was seriously a basketcase. I started researching like crazy, preventative, homeopathic, all of that stuff. Started taking Valtrex, lemon balm, L lysine, zinc, apple cider vinegar and water, you name it. During my first year on all of these things, I would still get little tiny blisters in very mini outbreaks pre-period about every month. I do think I sustained a fair amount of nerve damage from that first horrible outbreak because I get that really savage intense itching in my groin and very high up on my inner thighs when I am premenstrual. Some months are worse than others. anyway, I never really had another major outbreak again that first year, but didn't dare to attempt dating anyone because of those super regularly occurring little tiny blisters here and there. I was totally depressed and pretty much resigned myself to loneliness for the rest of my life or until a therapeutic cure comes out… I don't know why, but one day the itching was so intense and I had one or two super tiny but very painful blisters and I finally just broke down and slathered undeluted Teatree oil all over my vulva, groin, pubic area, and even my very upper inner thighs. I am not kidding you when I tell you not only did it fix the itch, but I woke up the next day and the tiny blisters were literally gone. Like gone gone. I will say the tingle is pretty intense if you put it on full strength, but it was not painful for me personally. I didn't go crazy with it, a little goes a long way, maybe three or four drops patted on my fingers and rubbed all over. I have since come off my Valtrex because I lost my health insurance and was paranoid that I was going to be suffering from regular terrible outbreaks. I have stopped taking all of the other supplements other than Apple cider vinegar because that's something I do regularly anyway, I am no longer on the antiviral medication, have not been for a year now, and I have not had one outbreak since then. Maybe one or two minuscule barely visible bumps that may have even just been razor burn but I treated as herpes just to be safe… I shave my pubic area regularly, and apply the Teatree oil as a preventative once a day. I'm telling you this is the best thing I have done. If you can get used to the tingle, your skin does actually acclimate to it eventually... my personal experience is that Teatree oil is the absolute best preventative treatment. I am 100% convinced this is basically keeping my herpes dormant. As I told you I am an information junkie, and there is so much propaganda and advertising bullshit out there surrounding this virus, it's really hard to find anything legitimate. But I have found a fair amount of scientific studies backing this up… That Teatree oil is one of the few natural remedies out there that has the ability to kill HSV-1 and HSV-2 on contact. I have been dating an amazing person for over a year. We decided after a lot of conversation and reading to have unprotected sex. I apply Teatree oil to my genital area once a day, and if I know we are spending time together and sex is probably going to happen, I will reapply one more time and hour or so before sex so that it doesn't rub off on him and cause tingling or burning. He has gotten tested every couple of months and is still negative. And my symptoms, other than occasional bouts with the itching which I have been told by my doctor is not prodrome but actual nerve damage… I am pretty much symptom-free. I just wanted to share this information on a large forum because I know how hard it can be to find legitimate information, or fake reviews out there with people trying to pimp out some expensive natural crap that doesn't work, this is such an intense virus from an emotional standpoint because of the stigma associated with it, I feel like people who suffer from it are very vulnerable and willing to spend money on things which makes us a demographic that is targeted for fraud. I go to my local sprouts grocery store when they have 25% off sales on natural oils, and I buy a few $10 bottles which last me for months. Literally the best thing I have ever done and it's dirt cheap. I'm not sure how this will work for guys, but I think our inner vulva is probably just as sensitive as a penis or scrotum, and like I said, your body does eventually acclimate and get used to the tingling of the Teatree oil. You could probably even dilute it in some coconut oil to start with. Anyway, I don't know that everyone else will have the same luck that I have had with Teatree oil, but it has literally been a life-changing remedy for me so I wanted to put it out there.
  8. Sassyhart

    Female condoms

    I was doing research on prevention of spreading herpes and came across the female condom. Now first let me state that I wouldn't ever condone keeping the diagnosis from a partner nor having sex during an OB. But extra protection is always a plus. Does anyone knows of any scientific research on prevention of spreading or decrease likelihood with a femal condom? It is approved under the FDA but that doesn't mean anything. I know it's an internal condom and from the diagrams I've seen, it also forms a type of dental dam or external vaginal coverage over the lips. Any info would be welcome.
  9. theuniverseisagainstme

    New to Herpes and Scared

    Hello, I am new to this. Like just found out today. But I am scared and confused. I have some questions about outbreaks that I do not get? 1. Do you guys usually have them? Or was it just once or twice? 2. How long will it take for the medicine to make the outbreak and pain go away? 3. How should I properly wash down there while trying to avoid spreading? Can I do things to avoid spreading? 4. Do we just never have oral sex or unprotected sex again? I have actually never even had sex without a condom, I always wanted to wait for a husband for that
  10. I have a question about transmission. Apologies for the graphic content. The other day I had sex with my partner. When I removed the condom I saw that the friction had raised a few red bumps which turned out to be an outbreak. I had no previous symptoms until I saw these bumps, otherwise would never have engaged in sex. No symptoms and then a outbreak is unusual for me but I hear it happens. Obviously we´re sick with worry that transmission occurred and are trying to understand the situation better. My question is about where the viral shedding occurs during an outbreak. The area of the bumps was completely covered by the condom, it was close to the tip. As far as I can see the sores are limited to one specific area and there are no sores or lesions on an area not covered by the condom. Is the sore area the only area which would have been viral shedding? Does viral shedding in an outbreak occur only in the sore area or also on other parts of the genitals which look unaffected? Thanks, any information appreciated.
  11. Good morning, I have been a cold sore sufferer since I was a little kid, probably from my mom. Growing up I got them sporadically, but my parents downplayed it so it was never really a concern for me. Over the last several years I still get OBs some of which are horrific. Again, didn't really give it much thought, I'm not concerned about the social stigma. However, since I have been married for 10 years and now have 3 small children, I find my self overcome with constant terror that I will spread it to my children and/or wife. I know the general rule of growing up, no kissing with one, no sharing, and always wash your hands after touching it. Like an idiot, I did a lot of research on HSV-1 online and now I am terrified that those steps are not enough. I have read in several places that my saliva carries the virus and that I will spread it even without an OB. In order to prevent my family from getting these awful things I have gone to extraordinary measures to prevent it. Even without an outbreak, I don't share anything or even kiss my kids. I occasionally kiss my wife but again I am scared of passing it to her. When I have an OB I won't even talk until it is gone and then a few days after for fear that when I speak, my saliva may come out and hit someone in the eye or contaminate something that my kids will touch and then have the virus on their hands or clothes. I take Valltrex only when I have an OB which does very well in reduction. However, given that stress induces these things, I am constantly stressed about passing them which has made my OBs more frequent. it used to be once a year maybe, now it's 3 times or more a year. I take so many supplements to inhibit the virus, Lysine, multi-vitamin, B complex, D, E, everything to avoid these things. I know the majority of people get them but I hate knowing that my kids would get this and get ridiculed the same way I was growing up, and even worse, undergo the pain I have through the years from the oOBs themselves. Am I being paranoid about everything and the spreading? I am also scared to even shower with water on my face for fear it will pass to other parts of my body, even without an OB. I am tired of being paralyzed with this fear without knowing for sure. I hate these things. This is the only missing element in my life. If only I could make peace with it, everything else is perfect. I wish a cure or vaccine would be developed already. Please advise. Thank you.
  12. DontJuan

    reduce of spreading

    HI came across this: http://consumer.healthday.com/sexual-health-information-32/herpes-simplex-genital-news-376/hiv-prevention-drug-truvada-might-lower-genital-herpes-risk-too-689301.html http://consumer.healthday.com/clinical-trials-information-35/clinical-trials-news-136/experimental-gel-could-prevent-genital-herpes-infection-702053.html
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