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Hello all, I was recently diagnosed with HSV-2 (this morning I received a phone call with my positive lab results from a swab). I’ve been searching for two weeks on information but it’s really difficult to find answers. Every answer on the google machine is very abstract it seems. So, I figured maybe this would be a great way to ask my questions and get answers from you wonderful people who have helped so much. It really is amazing to see the community here. Here are my questions: 1. How accurate is the swab test? 2: does taking antivirals (500mg) every day help prevent outbreaks? 3: Can you give it to someone else when you have no lesions or symptoms? 4: Does sunlight cause more outbreaks? 5: Does working out cause more outbreaks? 6: is there anything I could do to get in front of an outbreak such as supplements , etc.?
Monday March 13, 2017-After 30 minutes of begging my boyfriend to put lotion on me, he finally agrees. He doesn't wash his hands beforehand from a long days at work. After putting the lotion on me and playing around saying he's going to "finger rape" me and I push him away knowing the risks (in my head I'm thinking, yeast infection, bad reaction, uti) he manages to shove a finger tip in and we go to sleep. The very next morning I feel a yeast infection coming on. I start to use Monistat cream thinking it'll make it go away. 6 weeks pregnant me knows not to put anything inside this early in pregnancy so I stick to topical use. The burning and itching and irritation persists over the next couple of days. Finally, I can't take it anymore and go to the doctor. The doctor tests my urine-clean. The doctor tests for yeast infection-clean. She says it's probably an allergic reaction and should go away in a few days. A few days pass and it gets worse. Way worse. I can't sleep. I can't sit. I can't go to the bathroom without crying. I can't walk. I can't move my legs without pain between them. The pain is unbearable. I have my boyfriend look down there as I've noticed a change but my view is limited-maybe an infection. First thing he says "that looks like herpes." I've never seen genital herpes before. I reply with no its not it's an infection or something. With my inner thoughts knowing the inevitable, it's probably herpes. I start thinking of the times I've had sex. The 8 partners I've had in my life time and think if I remember any of them having any weird lumps, bumps, or rashes. I can't think of any, except him. My current boyfriend gets notoriously dry skin and red patches on his penile shaft and head. He's never tested before. He's cheated before. I start thinking he's cheated again and has given me this terrible reminder. Those are my insecurities. That's me trying to place blame when, in reality, I'm the one who didn't use protection. I'm the one that trusted people knowing how deceitful humans are. I cry myself to sleep that night. The next day I go to the doctor. I explain to her the pasted few days and tell her what my boyfriend has said. I start to cry. I feel like an idiot crying in the doctors office. On this cold table. All alone with this tiny baby inside me. But I don't think about the baby. I'm crying for myself. I'm crying the years to come. I'm crying for not being smarter because I am smarter. I'm crying that I haven't learned I'm not exempt. I'm crying i didnt remember i'm not the exception to the rule. Monday March 20, 2017-I'm lying on the doctors table waiting for her to look at this mess I've made myself. Another nuse comes in and I panic because I don't want anyone to know my terrible secret. As I spread my legs and the doctor has a close inspection, she says "yep it looks like it." She has to do a swab to culture it to see if it's the virus or not. I know this will hurt. I anticipate the pain and squeeze my eyes shut and squeeze the phone in my hand. I'm wishing I was anywhere but here. I start to cry from the pain. From the lonliness. From the fear.. she sends off the swab and I go to get blood work done. The next few days are a blur. When I'm alone, I just cry. If I'm not crying, I'm sleeping from the exhaustion. But I have 3 babies to take care of -1 of mine and 2 of my boyfriends. I try to get it together for them. I try to be okay for just a few minutes to be normal around them but I always retreat to my room where I feel safe to cry. Where I feel safe to feel what I'm feeling. I feel disgusted with myself. I feel worthless. I feel like a failure to my daughter. Then I start to think about this new baby. Will I lose it? Will I wake up one day bleeding as I did just a few months ago and know the terrible truth? That I did this to my baby. That I killed him because I didn't want to use protection? So many thoughts are running through my head and there's no one around. There's not a single soul to talk to. My boyfriend is distant. He doesn't acknowledge I'm there but thats normal. He's going thru alot too and it seems he copes by shutting everyone out. For some reason it feels so much worse now this is happening. I want to hug him. I want to hold his hand and cry in his arms..but I feel disgusting. Why would he want to touch me now? I'm diseased. Tainted. So I keep my distance and cry to myself. Now it is Wednesday March 22, 2017 the day before my ultrasound-I get the call from my doctors office. My phone is on silent because I've shut myself away from the world. I don't want to talk to anyone or deal with anyone. I miss the call so I call back. The lady on the other end says she'll have to give me a call back. So I wait and no call. So I call back again again and finally talk to someone. She says my tests results came back negative. What? So many thoughts are going thru my head. What does this mean? Is this a new infection? Does this mean my current boyfriend did give it to me? Did he cheat or has he always had it? Is HSV 1 or 2? Will I ever know? Am I in the clear? Will the culture come back positive and that answers all my questions? Will the culture come back negative and I'm in the clear? But what if they're false negative and I don't take antivirals close to delivery and I pass it to my baby and potentially kill him or her? What now?