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Just Diagnosed and Confused

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Hey all...

I was diagnosed with genital herpes last month and it is anything but a pleasant experience. I have had very few sexual partners in my life, but I guess that doesn't really matter now. I could have had a hundred and that wouldn't change anything.

I had slept with a guy in December and had no other sexual contact with any other individuals. I slept with this same guy 2 different times in March. Within 4 days of this last sexual contact, I became terribly ill with a fever of 102 degrees for 3 days, muscle aches, could barely even get out of bed. I went to see my doctor and he looked in my throat and saw white spots all over, did a swab and said he was completely sure it was strep throat. He gave me an antibiotic and sent me on my way. Just out of curiousity, I called my doctors office recently to check on the results of the swab, and it was negative for strep.

5 days after the fever and illness, I noticed a sore down there. I was completely freaked out since nothing like this has ever happened before. I tried not to worry and thought it might be from shaving or something like that. Things got worse and I saw my gyno ASAP. They did a swab of the sore and noticed a few others. After waiting 2 days for the results, I was diagnosed and put on Valtrex.

Upon finding out about this, I immediately contacted the ONLY gentleman I had been sleeping with for the past 4 months. He of course freaked out and said it couldn't possibly be him because he had no symptoms. I had found out that he wasn't sleeping with just me during these 4 months, so I had my doubts.

He said he would go to his doctor and get tested as soon as he could. A week later he told me his test results were negative but his doctor told him to come back every month to continue getting tested. Two days later I got a call from one of his FRIENDS (not even him) telling me that there was no way it could be the gentleman I had been sleeping with for the past 4 months and that his doctor changed his mind and that he never had to get tested again.

I am in complete shock. He also told many people who have no business knowing about this, so now my name is pretty much being dragged through the dirt. I even contacted my previous sexual partner from some time ago who is in the military and had just gotten back from Iraq. He said he had been tested due to military procedures and he was also negative.

I heard that if you recently caught this, it would take some time to show up in your blood. Is this what is happening here? I can't imagine a doctor telling someone to never come back to get tested because you definitely don't have it. From my understanding, some individuals may never have symptoms and that is does take some weeks for herpes to show up in a blood test.

Exactly a month after my first outbreak, I am currently experiencing another. The combination of the symptoms and not knowing the whole truth is making my life absolutely miserable. I have been seeing my psychologist so hopefully things make a turn for the better.

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Hi lilabeth,

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this and I hope your outbreak doesn't get unbearable. If we can give you any support we will be more than happy to.

There is definitely something not sincere about this person especially if he tells you one thing and has his friend call and tell you something completely different.

You are correct, it will take some time for your body to produce the antibodies to fight the virus. It can take 3-16 weeks to seroconvert to the point of positive status. Blood tests should be accurate when taken between 12-16 weeks. Most people will have seroconverted by this time but if someone's immune system is compromised, it can take longer.

If you want to know if you have just recently been infected you could have the blood test now and if it comes up negative you definitely were and if it comes up equivocal or a low positive you more than likely just contracted it.

He said he was tested and it came back negative and maybe that is true but if you didn't see his test results, which everyone is entitled a copy to, then you really don't know if that is what's happening here.

Unless you are able to discuss it with him and have him show you his test results, you may never know the whole truth. Please, continue your counseling and eventually you will be able to come to terms with it.

If there is anything else we can help with, just ask sweetie.

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The entire thing is sketchy. It sounds like his friend stepped in to do damage control to cover for his reputation. Also, I highly doubt the military does a blood test for HSV as a standard. So you actually have two sources of lies. In the end, it doesn't matter.

Keep your chin up. It will get easier with time and the outbreaks will come under control. You're dating life is not over, but do make sure you are at peace with yourself before facing the possible rejection.

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