Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

Another statistic

Recommended Posts


That would be me. I was visually diagnosed yesterday, but am still waiting for the test results--I'm pretty sure they're not going to change anything. My doc did a culture on the sore, as well as a test to determine whether it was HSV1 or HSV2 (along w/ the standard chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis, HIV shabang). I cried at first, but now I'm just trying not to think about it.

I've always been a very sexual person (within a committed relationship). A flirt. A tease. Some would say a nympho. Now, I feel dirty. Disgusting. Horrible. Monstrous. Crusty. Contagious. Ashamed. And shameful. Now, instead of feeling horny and getting wet when I think about sex, I realize I'm wet because a sore is oozing. I want to vomit.

My boyfriend is being very understanding about the whole thing, which I suppose I should be thankful for, but which is actually making me question whether or not he may have known he had it all along and so now it's "no big deal" (his exact words). I don't know. From the reading I've done, I know it's impossible to know who gave it to whom, but I can't help but be bitter.

He says he's never had it and he'll get tested. He also says that if he has it, nothing has to change... is he out of his mind? Apparently, he doesn't understand that we can never have oral sex again without saran wrap or a condom (hey, at least both come in cool colors). He doesn't realize that he can never again cum on my face because it could get in my eye and I might go blind. He doesn't realize that we can never do it on the kitchen table again because we are CONTAGIOUS. He doesn't realize that if we ever break up we'll both likely be in for a lot of rejection and resentment and pain (literally) and planning dates around outbreaks and meals around "triggers." He just DOESN'T REALIZE.

And I am just beginning to.

It sucks.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for the "graphic content." Feel free to delete if you deem necessary. I just needed to vent. My BF is the only person I have told and he just brushes it off like it really is nothing.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, curly, you can actually find out if he gave this to you if you get an IgG type specific blood test - if it shows negative, then it's something new. If he is going to get tested, make sure he gets the same type of test.

You're also misguided about the limitations that herpes will impose on your sex life. If you both have the same type of herpes, then you don't have to worry about getting infected elsewhere with the same virus. Just make sure that you have built up antibodies against it before you resume normal activities - that is, if it is even an option. I suspect that you will find that he gave it to you.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you

for your reply. I believe you are right that he likely gave it to me, but I will probably never know. He has no insurance, and so will be going to the free clinic. My insurance covered mine, so I'll at least see if I have any anti-bodies. As far as things returning to normal, they won't be. I've been wanting to dump him for awhile and was just waiting for the right time. His understanding in this makes it hard, but I know it has to be done. He doesn't work, he's a felon (which he neglected to tell me until very recently), and I am not attracted to him.

You're right about my misconceptions, as well. I know that the kitchen table thing is probably possible when both of us are OB-free, but... well, again, I was venting and taking things to the extreme. Like everyone says, it will be a life-adjustment, not a life-killer.

It will just take some time to adjust :)

Thank you again for taking the time to respond. It is appreciated.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • VladimirM
      I do belive. It is going to be SADBE and Sqarex. I am on it and it is great.
    • Miss Annie
      Thank you. Yes, I was on Positive Singles and met someone I was with for 2 years. We recently broke up but may work things out. Truth be told, dating is touch. With or without a virus. 
    • Godsaveus
      A possible problem is that it will possibly be overshadowed by emails regarding other health problems such as cancer which carry no stigma and therefore have a more massive amount of requests.
    • WilsoInAus
      @nydb1 I feel you can be quite confident that you do not have genital herpes here.  Please return to your doctor for further diagnosis and treatment.
    • f*ckedOver
      Maybe this has been asked already, but is there way we could get everyone on the site to write emails to the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation?  If they got 1000s of emails about this issue maybe they would fund people like the researchers at Penn?????????

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.