Some help telling my boyfriend....

[Guest Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

I've been reading the boards here for just a few days, but it seems like you are a very supportive, upbeat group.

I could really use some advice. A little background may be helpful. I get cold sores around my mouth, I've gotten them since I was like 15 yrs. old. (I'm in my early 30's now.) My dad gets them so I am assuming I received this lovely disease from him. I'm sure he kissed me at some point when he didn't have a sore, and that is how I got 'it'. Anyhow.....I JUST found out last week, by doing some research, that it is possible to infect someone even when you don't have a sore. I believe this is called asymptomatic shedding? Uh, I am totally floored..shocked..devastated. I feel like a complete fool because I've had this disease so long and didn't even know I could be passing it around. I thought that hsv1 and hsv2 were two completely separate things! Well, I have a new boyfriend, we've only been seeing each other for about 4 months. Of course we've been intimate. I am so guilt~ridden over this I don't know what to do. Well, I know I need to tell him....but how??? What do I say? I am certain this will end our relationship which, quite frankly, hurts like hell to think about!

I feel like a leper now. I am having a hard time grasping the fact that I may have given this wonderful guy herpes. Has anyone else been in this situation? Or am I the only ignoramus who didn't know you could pass it around even if you aren't having any symptoms? Do I need to tell every single man I've ever kissed that I have this???

Thanks so much for reading my post.

~p~

(p.s. Lest everyone think I'm a complete idiot, I have read up on herpes in the past. I am nearly positive I read (about 6 yrs. ago) that you could NOT spread it if you weren't having an outbreak. Obviously things have changed.)

[Guest Anonymous]

Forgot to ask....

Can anyone give me some websites that have good, reliable information that I can pass along to my boyfriend? Are there any book or pamphlet recommendations?

Thank you!!

[Guest Anonymous]

i wouldn't kill yourself...just don't give him oral (anymore?). i'd probably tell him too. the term "cold sores" doesn't have as bad of a rep as "hsv-1" evn thgh they're the same thing.

[tabularasa77]

Passing Herpes 1 during Oral Sex

Hello,

I was given herpes through oral sex (I posted my story on the site today). Don't feel bad...we did not know that you can get herpes that way either. Luckily type 1 is much more mild than type 2 and I have dealt with it much better than someone would with type 2 because of this. I would not be afraid of giving him oral. Asymptomatic shedding usually only occurs when you have prodromes (tingling feeling, etc.). Plenty of people have oral sex everyday who have it orally (90% of the population)and dont pass it to their partner. If he has it orally, you decrease the chance of transmission by almost 100%. Here is a website with some info and links for info for u and your boyfriend. Good luck. http://www.SpecialUser1234.com/page4.html

Heather