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still have the right to persue?


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Hi again.

I've not dated since I was zapped back in June. I've been spending some time trying to keep everything in perspective (with your help of course) and to push away these feelings of disgust and worthnessless. I've now met someone I'm interested in, but each time we get together, especially if I ask HIM out, I feel as though I'm lying to him. Have we lost the right to persue? Is it wrong to let someone hold your hand, or kiss you? Is it lying to allow someone to get close to you, when they don't know you have 'it'? Would it be falling in love under false pretenses? Is it wrong? Deceitful? Does anyone else feel this dishonesty? Help?!

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Re: Still have the right to pursue?

Sweetie.....you have EVERY RIGHT to pursue a man! This is not the 50s! It does not matter that you have Herpes. It does not change who you are! Go out there and shine like the beautiful person that you are! Go out there and have fun! If you hold a man's hand, kiss him, make out with him, there should be no EXPECTATION of sex. If he is expecting it, he is not the right man for you. Those who are truly worthy of your time and love will respect your wanting to take things slowly. Its a great test to see what kind of person he is. The only thing that none of us have the right to do is expose other people to the virus without their prior knowledge. We need to be a solution to the problem, not part of it. Please read my recent post which tells my story.

P.S. I have NEVER, in the 6 years of having Herpes, had a guy get mad at me for "leading him on" or not taking it to a sexual level, even if I have told him that I have Herpes. Hold hands, kiss, make out...have fun!



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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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