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i have it he doesn't

Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

Hi!This is my ist time actually saying i have H and the 1st time on this site.I need some advice.I just got diagnosed with it 4 days ago and it came as a complete shock when the dr 1st said what it could be i fell apart.Then when he told me i was positive i had so many feelings of shame i wanted 2 run and hide from my loved ones.I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and we thought we had been through enough we made it through a custody battle(i have 2 kids that he adores and they adore him).But now we are facing this.I love him but i have been trying to push him away cause we learned he doesn't have it and i am sooo scared he will catch it from me and then hate me later.He says he loves me and we will get threw this together.I don't know whats wrong with me i keep pushing him away but i don't want him 2 go.Why am i doing this to him hes been nothing but nice and supportive and says hes not going anywhere.I am afraid the next time we try 2 make love he will be grossed out by me and go running.Could it be true could he love me enough 2 want 2 be with me?What if i give this 2 him could he live with it?How do i allow myself 2 trust him and pull him close instead of pushing him away like i am doing?I have been so depressed since this started i dont want 2 get out of bed but i dont want 2 lose one of the best things in my life(my man).Tell me i will get past these insecurities?

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Yes you will get passed this. I promise. Pushing him away is a natural response - I've been there, done that - still doing it - my BF and I are on the fence right now - for more than this reason. Why would we want to be responsible for them entering this life? Here's what I've been told:

This won't kill you

It's just an f'n coldsore for God's sake

Learn everything you can and THEN make a proper decision about your relationship

No sex during outbreaks

Learn to know your body so you'll know when "not to"

and above all Love any man that accepts you unconditionally. Love him. If you don't love him let him go for that reason - but if you love each other - well, some people never have that. Let him help you get through this sweetheart.

The simple fact that you care about his well being says it all - you're a kind loving person who derserves the happiness this man wants to give you. Take it, open your heart and be smart about this - knowledge will soften the fear. I promise.

And if he has a cute brother - send him my way! :-)

Love to you. We will be here to help where we can.


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  • 2 months later...

I'm going through the same thing right now, so I know how you feel. Please tell me what helps for you.

So far, the only thing that helps right now is spending time with him. I still feel really guilty and everything, but even tho he said it doesn't matter and he will always love me. Maybe just getting your mind off the matter will help. I've been working like crazy and when I'm at home not with my bf I try to keep myself occupied.

Hope this helps.

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  • 1 month later...

i know how you feel, even though i do not know if i have it or not yet...it is almost the exact same situation otherwise! i am so glad for this site...it makes me feel tons better to know there are others out there feeling like i do...even though that's not a good thing

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