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My husband just got it after 12 years of marriage

Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

I just found this website and am so thankful to be able to share this with somebody! I got herpes 15 years ago. You can imagine what it was like then. I was so ashamed, especially when my GYN made it clear she thought I must have gotten it because I was sleeping around. Over the years though I've come to terms with it.

Initially my outbreaks were mild but frequent. As the years passed, they became infrequent unless I became very stressed which usually brought one on. While my husband and I were dating, I told him everything. He accepted it and we were very cautious. For 12 years he didn't get it!

In September he decided to loss weight, went on weightwatchers and lost 45 lbs. I don't know if this was it but he got his first outbreak in Dec. I can't tell you the guilt I've had. We've talked a lot about it and I think we gotten over the shock but I have some questions. His outbreak has lasted a long time. He showed symptoms in Dec, had the first sores in Jan, had a full outbreak in Feb, and now in March, the area where the sores were is sore and gives him pain during sex. It's the area right under the rim of the tip of his penis. Will this go away or has this tender skin been permaneantly damaged? I'm so worried about him and so guilt ridden. Does anyone know the answer?

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Guest Anonymous

your husband's 1st outbreak

Healing depends on many factors, the most important of which are the condition of his immune system, his diet, and an open and trusting relationship with a good urologist or a doctor who specializes in STDs. Healing is slower when you're older and/or have other medical conditions. Arginine containing foods (there are websites with the whole list of these foods) should be avoided. Lysine containing foods and supplements might be helpful. Same goes for suppressive therapy with acyclovir, Valtrex or Famvir. He really should see a good doctor.

Good luck.

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Guest Anonymous

I got it after 8 years

I am kinda in the same situation, I got it from my husband after 8 years. Since I got it from him and he's had it for 13 years, can we have sex at any time during the OB ( like healing time)?

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You know how herpes comes up in one spot, over and over? Does having sex, even with a condom, during an outbreak, sound worth the idea of it maybe being spread to 4 or 5 more spots that are vulnerable? The friction of sex could do that - spread it to more sites.

Do what you want but for me, 3 vulnerable sites is quite enough for me....

Hope this helps...


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Re: I got it after 8 years

I am kinda in the same situation' date=' I got it from my husband after 8 years. Since I got it from him and he's had it for 13 years, can we have sex at any time during the OB ( like healing time)?[/quote']


Abstain during prodome, outbreaks and a week or so after the ob scabs over - or I guess until its gone - don't quote me on number of days...

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  • 4 weeks later...

pain during sex means something is wrong & you should STOP!!!

personally i can not imagine having sex during an ob... simply because of the pain that would be associated with it.

i doubt that the skin is permenantly damaged there, as i have never lost feeling in any area that i have had an ob at. the feeling at the site should be normal after the outbreak, if not, talk to a doc (in his case either a dermetologist or a urologist) about it

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