orgasmic dysfunction

[Guest Anonymous]

first of all i'd like to say how fantastic this site is. i've been 'lurking' for the past couple of months and it's really helped me to come to terms with things, although i must admit i have been trying to spend less time reading posts here recently as I think it's been helping me more to get out into the real world where the numer 1 topic of conversation isn't herpes and everything feels a little more in perspective.

i was diagnosed with genital hsv1 about two months ago and over the past month i've been really getting to grips with it, and although i obviously still get my 'down' moments, in general i feel happy in myself and have been really looking after my health, so from that point of view everything's going fine.

the only thing that i'm worried about... and i know that this may seem completely insignificant in comparison with all of the other more horrific things that people here have to deal with... is that i seem to be experiencing complete clitoral insensitivity (amazing how you can say these things so frankly to a group of strangers when they can't see your face). although i haven't actually been intimate with anyone since i was diagnosed (obvious reasons!), it just doesn't feel the same down there. i experienced quite a lot of swelling with my first outbreak (which has completely gone now leaving me with only slightly swollen lymph nodes in my groin), and now (this is going to sound so ridiculous), it feels as though my clitoris has swollen and not been able to return to normal, hence the lack of sensitivity. it feels different physically.

this sounds more and more ridiculous as i type it, and i know that everyone will come back to me and say 'it's just psychological, your brain's dealing with a trauma and it's natural that you won't feel sexually aroused at this odd time'. but it feels different physically. when i touch it there isn't the same sensation. and, petty as that may sound, at 19 i really don't want my chances of a healthy and enjoyable sex life ruined. herpes won't do that if i'm sensible... but inability to orgasm?? no thanks!

many thanks for listening (reading), and thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

[Lasmom]

hhhmmm... not sure but I would assume a sensitive area would take longer to heal? In all honesty, dealing with this shit will cause depression - which will in turn affect sexual health. If you are truly worried, and have had ample time to heal - talk to your doc to rule out some kind of infection.

If you're all clear - no man in your life.... I would buy a good vibrator and a huge pack of batteries!!! Only way to know.....

I honestly think you will be OK - just let this crap run it's course. I have trouble in that area being worried about the H stuff - comes with the territory...

I recommend duracell.....hahaha - you're gonna be fine!!!

[Guest Anonymous]

thanks lasmom, you're a star.

i'm sure that i probably am worrying unnecessarily, i suppose the only way to find out will be to lock myself away with a massive pack of duracell, as you say! it seems really crude to be talking about this kind of stuff, and also kind of trivial given what everyone else is going through. but i do think that even if you deal with herpes and manage to have a healthy relationship with you both knowing, if you're unable to orgasm it's eventually going to affect your sex drive (nobody can put up with one-way sex for too long, trust me, i've been in a relationship where i really had to try and it's a killer!), and that will cause friction in the relationship and it will almost certainly break down or be damaged in some way. may seem extreme but in most cases it's not something that a woman would feel comfortable talking to her partner about and keeping a secret like that could really drive a wedge between you.

I'd really appreciate any other responses to this. anyone experinece anything similar?

[jadedsour]

Going through the same thing

OK, so today I finally had sex again, and was noticing the same thing. My clitoris is just not as sensitive as it was a couple weeks ago before my initial outbreak.

So how did you end up making out, did things return to normal or is this going to be more permanent?

[Athena07]

Ok let me explain to you what ive experienced since I contracted g-hsv1. After my first outbreak 5 years ago I havent gotten another. But a couple weeks after my first outbreak I started feeling like I had a UTI.. well countless tests and doctors later and I was diagnosed with Vulvodynia. Once I started having sex (I contracted herpes while I was still a virgin through oral sex) a few months later with my boyfriend it hurt so bad.. even inserting a finger hurt. Oral sex never felt the same. I just always sort of felt this weird burning sensation and also burning when I peed. Well 5 years later im still dealing with it. Ive gone to support groups and have tried meds.. but nothing has actually fixed the problem Im certain my initial outbreak caused the vulvodynia but I dont really know why. I cant seem to find anyone who has this problem as a result of herpes. My sex life is just not the same.. I never have a sex drive and im afraid of getting into a relationship cause I just dont want to be touched! Sad that im 26 and have dealt with this for most of my 20's already. I can masturbate and achieve orgasm fairly quickly but its not so easy with a partner. Plus the psychological aspect of having herpes is enough to make you not want to bother. Just thought i'd share.. I know its not helping your situation, but you arent alone!

[learning the hard way]

Orgasmic changes

First of all I love this topic & loved everyone's comments, thanks for posting. I'm dealing with a slightly different problem. I have hsv2, first outbreak almost a month ago & some oddities are still lingering! Most of my outbreak affected my anus & rectum. For me stooling has been a huge issue, horrible constipation & rectal pain. I do have difficulty starting & maintaining a good urine stream as well. But inspite of dealing with all of this, I have slept with my boyfriend twice (I guess that's what he is), & my husband once. The boyfriend seldom can get me off, he hasn't gotten used to my cues. My husband can get me off in an instant, & I've always been able to vibrate myself to oblivion. Each sexual experience I could feel different sensations than before my outbreak but I'm not going to another doctor. I could almost have an orgasm driving my car if the road wasn't smooth. The engine vibration alone. How do you control if things are hypersensitive?

[lilbluehorse]

I'm wondering if there is a difference given the blistering around this area. My blistering was awful, everywhere really, but also all over the 'hood'/clitoris.

Now I'm experience similar 'dullness' there, even though the blisters have gone. I'm wondering if its like scar tissue over the top.

Although I still have a lot of nerve issues in the area, and my doctor thinks it my just be because of this that I've lost some sensation.

Also Anonymous - I wouldn't worry about anything you post on here - I think anything to do with genitals, sex, and the rest is open forum! Reader beware, not the writer!!

[regret]

i could see where it may affect ones sensativity.. it affects the nerves in the body. just experiment with a toy to see what works for you..

[learning the hard way]

Orgasm challenged vs orgasmic hypersensitivity

Based on everyone's replies, then maybe I should be glad most of my lesions were rectal. I can live with a less sensitive or numb rectum, but I liked my vagina like it was. And I can definitely tell some vaginal changes too. But I'm still feeling alot of residual first outbreak symptoms, so I'm trying to hold my final opinions until later. I can't believe I actually had sex after all this mess, & I can't believe my husband touched me. I figured I was a dead woman. Anyway, like they always say 70% of sex for a woman is in her head. So ladies, stop thinking about herpes when you're having sex. I also noticed I felt a little itchy sort of everywhere afterwards & immediately took a shower & I insisted he do the same. I can tell where a few spots ended up on my thighs. Not sure if I infected other areas on myself or what, but if so, it sure was easy to self transmit.