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Mank

So do I just not let him touch me?

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Mank

I'm with my first partner since I was diagnosed in Jan. I'm going to tell him about it but I don't feel like I know the answers to the questions he'll probably ask. When we are together and he touches me with his hands could I be passing herpes onto him, does this mean he'll have to wear gloves or something?

Also I asked my doctor about going on Valtrex daily to reduce the risk of passing herpes on and she told me that HSV-1 which is what i have has less risk of being passed on and Valtrex is very strong to be taking daily and I don't need to unless I have repeated outbreaks (i've only had my first ob in jan). But the doc who diagnosed me said I could take Valtrex daily to prevent transmission. Any help? Anyone?

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pleasehelp123

same problem

I had the same problem as you, although i was diagnosed in may, only a month ago and told my partner straight away who had no problems with this as we have decided we want to be together for a long time. Although he did touch me down below about a week after my OB hads cleared up and about 4 days later he got a bumpy rash all over his finger, it got worse and he said it itched and burned it didnt break into uslers or anything like that so we arent sure if it was atually herpes but i did read about the whitlow thing? , he didnt go to the doctors however and it cleared up on its own within about a week and a half, and didnt seem to spread anywhere else on him. However when i thought what i had was just a shaving rash i touched my blisters with bare hands and nothing spreaded to me this may be because i already had some immunity in my body, now i know what it is i wouldnt do that again though. Also i was diagonsed my an emergeny doctor as it was a weekend so i cudnt call out my regular doctor, she seemed very keen to get me out the office as like many people have said on here doctors take it very light heartidly, she gave me a leaflet which said people can take anti virual medication everyday to stop the spreading and to stop outbreaks, after taken my acolivior prescribed it cleared up, however sicne i have been quite worried about getting outbreaks, so like you i went to my doctor to ask about the possibilty of getting some long term meds, and like yours she refused, apparantly you can only go on long term meds if you get OBS frequently and unless u have an outbreak when u visit them the doctor will not put you on any medication. she also told me that taking these meds long term can have serious effects on your health but after coming on this forum it seems to me that alot of people do take this daily :???: i am just taking zinc with vitamin C to boost my immune system so hopefully it should work. i also got told by an atual sexual health doctor at the clinic yesterday that less than 90% of people get another outbreak. but then again after coming here it dusnt seem that way to me. you should try taking zinc and vitamin C. and just be generally healthy. my bf has never had an outbreak and she told that if we have been together over 6 months it is likley that my bf will have it anyway but he will be asymptomatic, as we never use condoms as i was on the pill. so u never know ur bf could already have it, if you have had sex with him. hope this helps and u shdnt wory about telling him because irealised that if he loves u and wants to be with you he wont run a mile, this probabley showed me that everythingmy bf had ever said to me had been true. hope this helps u a bit

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marriedwchildren

Hello,

I read both your posts and i would strongly suggest you find new Docs. i have genital HSV1 from a cold sore my hubby had 8 days before I became infected this past December. I was put on Anti virals immediately and I asked for daily valtrex for preventive measures and my Doc never even questioned my decision. It is your body and it should be up to you to decide how to treat yourself, if you choose daily meds then it is your chose, if you go the herbal, natural way that is your chose also. If my Doctor would of told me I could not have peace of mind by taking daily suppressive meds i would of told him to take a hike and walked out of his office.

It is your body and your health and if you are not an advocate for health care then no one else will be. Call back and demand it and if the answer is still no, find another doctor you have that right. take care

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pleasehelp123

...

i have been to 2 my doctor and a sexual health doctor and they both said the exact same thing. i cannot be put on any daily med unless i have regular outbreaks, and i have to go to them WHEN i have an outbreak not when i THINK one is coming. so they can examine the sores. she told me that it can cause problems if i go on daily meds and that its not reccomended for people as it causes problems. Just wondering marriedwithchildren how often are your outbreaks. Untill recently i never knew a coldsore was atually herpes :S. my mum and dad get them especially when weve been on holiday, i thought it was just something that u either was prone to or not, i knew u cud pass it thru kissin but i had NO idea that if u gave sum1 oral with a coldsore u could get genital herpes!! i dont suffer from coldsores but i was just wondering does this mean thatr bascailly every1 u see with a coldsore has come into contact with herpes at some point?

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Caliope

the herpes virus can infect any part of the body if there is skin to skin contact with an infected area. cold sores or fever blisters are herpes so this applies to them.

it is not necessary to take daily suppressive antiviral medications but many people feel more confident if they do. it can reduce outbreaks and reduce the chance of transmitting to partners who don't have herpes already.

it is really important to have that talk with your partner before it becomes an issue. you may find that they are not too worried about it or even that they are familiar with it or have it themselves. hsv1 which causes the most common herpes infections affects about 80% of the population. it is also quite common for people to have it genitally.

some people have one outbreak in their life and other people have frequent outbreaks. the healthier your immune system the better chance you have of avoiding frequent outbreaks. although you can pass it to a partner when you don't have symptoms it is also possible to have a long term relationship where your unexposed partner never contracts it.

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Kya

believe it is different in the UK. I was told that they dont give you any meds unles your ob is bad and in need of antiviral treatment. They said something along the lines of the body needs to adapt to this virus on its own, so unles its a serious flare up they will only suggest things like salt water baths and loose clothing to help it. Also wont give you daily ones unles you have had more than 6 obs in a year (or alot within a small space of time) But it is difficult to get in to see someone whan you do have a flare up. By the time i got an appointment with my sexual health clinic here, my sores had healed up only to come back a few days later! Was really annoying. Ended up going to my regualr doctors, as getting an appointment was easier and they could plainly see the sore patches and gave me a perscription there and then.

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chole

different advice

I'm in uk too and have found it very easy to get medication,fast and can get an appointment at the gum clinic on the same day I call,guess its a matter of luck.Still have a single small spot after my 1st ob a month ago and the doc at the gum clinic very easily handed me another months meds,and said a years supply can also be given if it will not go away.I don't want to keep taking them as I think they are making me tired and forgetful??,don't know if its the meds,am normally very alert and never forget anything!.So I guess its the luck of the draw which clinic you go to.Try another gum clinic,there are many you can just walk in,no appointment ness.

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tothefuture

Kya - your post reads as if you’ve only been able to get meds if someone actually sees you have an OB.

This is wrong. I don’t mean you’ve not had this experience(!) but that if this is what you meant, then change your doctor (assuming you've already been diagnosed that is).

I phoned up the clinic on one occasion to be told by the nurse that the consultant would need to see me and examine me, before she would give me a prescription. I queried this as I had already been diagnosed with it.

Anyway, I went to see the consultant, we talked about the signs and symptoms but she did not ask to examine me.

Had she, I would have refused.

Completely unnecessary examinations of this kind, are simply abusive.

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Soraya1

Lots of useful advice above re: meds. Personally, I would not go on them unless I was having very regular attacks. I want my immune system to have a go at fighting this first. So, I just do what i can to stay fit and healthy, and take L-lysine and vitamins etc. Check out the treatment zone forum for some other tips.

With regards sexual activity with your partner, it is all about being sensible. If i am having an attack, or just getting over one, I abstain from any sexual contact with my partner. Otherwise, it is business as usual. Only difference is, I always make sure he washes his hands thoroughly after touching me, and we use condoms – after sex we both shower too, anyway.

Herpes sufferers can still have good, active, and safe sexual lives.

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pleasehelp123

different in the uk

i agree with you kya, i have been told by the sexual health doctor and the GUM clinic and my doctor that they would not give me anything daily, my doctor said this is not the type of medicine people should be taking daily as it can have side effects, i told her i ws feeling abit tingly at the moment, and she said she would need to examine me before she could giv me any meds, i refused this because i have been diagnosed with it, but then she condricdicted herself, she told me that many patients have it and get on with everday life and ring her up and say ive got a tingle they come in get the meds and go, they were her exact words, but she wouldnt let me have the meds and go. she did give me a prescription to take with me on my holiday ina few weeks time incase an OB occured whilst away, but as i felt an OB coming i started taking the meds neway, and will have to go back for me before my holiday. as for the GUM clinic doctor, i waited in the walk in clinic for an hour to see her, and had about 5 mins in the room with her, she didnt seem interested at all in what i had to say, doctors just think this is such a minor thing, they must have so many people going in to see them about it. she told me that most people never get another OB, and that all i need to do is stay fit and healthy, she also suggetsed zivorax down below, which is odd because on the leaflet it says it shouldnt be used on genitals. i think it is different here in the uk to amercia.

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tothefuture

pleasehelp123 - I'm so glad you refused to get examined. What would she have been looking for - a tingly feeling!!!???:evil:

Sometimes we have to be assertive with our doctors - at the very time we're not feeling at our best.

So good for you for refusing:-D.

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Kya

I think the doctor needed to have a look, becasue my notes from the clinic hadnt arrived yet and he needed to just make sure I was telling the truth?? Though who would lie about this, but you see wot I mean. Now that my notes should be there, if I went back in I shouldnt have a problem getting meds, and I also dont have a problem with letting the doctor have a look.

I can understand though, that you get to a point where your like... I know what it is!! I've had it for years, im not dropping my pants again!! just give me the meds. lol

I like having a reserve pack in my draw just in case mind.

However in the Uk they really dont like handing out daily meds for this unles there really is a problem and you are constantly having obs. they want you to be able to try and handle it without the meds (its ends up being costly with the constant repeat perscriptions- even more expensive in the US it seems)

Maybe when I meet someone and I want to try and prevent the spread as much as I can I will try and go on dailys. Will hae to see.... unles they say if they catch it they catch it. Its just one of those things you risk when haing an intimate relatiosnhip with someone who has it. Least they know where they stand with us though right? they know there is something to catch and choose, rather than getting with someone and catching something without realising.

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chole

ph123-had similar experience with docs,they seemed uninterested in my concerns,I suppose its their way of calming the situation down.I am able to get meds very easy though through the gum clinic.I got some zorirax,whatever it is called and used it on my genitals even though it says not to,didn't cause any problems,but didnt help much either.

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marriedwchildren

pleasehelp,

I am sorry about the delay in your question, but I am leaving for Germany Tomorrow and i have been pretty busy. As far as how many outbreaks i have had I had my primary Outbreak in December and have not had another one. I still get weird feeling down under, some minor itch, and some weird sensations but they never turned into an outbreak. I do take Valtrex daily but i will stop after my first year this coming December and see if i get more outbreaks if I do i will not hesitate to go back on the Valtrex. take care and have a good day.:-D

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Mank

Thanks for the support guys. I told him and it didn't even bother him, he just goes its not ur fault (an ex-boyfriend of mine forced himself on me without a condom and told me after that he had HSV) and it doesn't change who you are.

I couldn't have asked for it to turn out any better :D

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