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ihadthiscoming

at work....tons of swearing and unprofessional behaviour!

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ihadthiscoming

I guess this is a rant about a rant I had last night...

Just found out I have H on Tuesday and last night dragged myself to work, apart from the doctors appointment, it was my first time out in the big world since the H bomb. I'm a nurse and work in a tiny hospital, it was night duty so I was on by myself.

One new patient is an old BASTARD, he was incontinent of urine 3 times, no big deal, on the 4th time, I was putting a urinal in place and then he said to me "I feel excited, why dont you hold it firmly and kiss it for me, all night duty nures are dirty and your so pretty" and then went to lunge for my breast!!! Well I just lost it. It was all I could do not to punch the fucker in the face. The stupid old fuck pisses the bed and thinks Id be interested? How fucken dare he say that to me. I dont need to hear that from anyone, and I dont need to hear the dirty nurse sterotype just when I feel dirty for getting herpes. I just yelled and yelled at him, professionality can get fucked. At the end of my rant I told him that I was no longer nursing him and not to press the buzzer again, really isnt as bad as it sounds, hes not acute and can be independant with his ADLs if he decides to. He pressed the buzzer a lot more times over the next 2 hours and I never went in to check on him. Day shift came on, and I told them all about it, minus my swearing but did say that I went off and refused to answer the buzzer and they where 100% supportive. I proberbly could have handled it much better if it wasn't for the H bomb, but I did what I did.

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bluefrog

WOW, that sucks. I would have beat the rest of his piss right out of him. How disrespectful. Dirty old man. I hope you did not get reprimanded at work? Did he mention the incident to any other nurses or doctors? Probably not, because he knows he was wrong.

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MsLucy

I don't know why it is, but the older guys get, the more they think they can get away with. I don't know a single old man who didn't turn into a "dirty" old man eventually. I think they've either forgotten how to seduce a woman, or they figure, at that age, they don't have time for the niceties.

When I was doing massage, I did an old couple every Saturday at their apartment. These were wealthy, well connected people. Not once did I ever give him his massage, that he didn't grab my ass at least once. Then he'd smile innocently, like he hadn't done anything wrong. His wife thought it was funny. I really liked the old guy, so I can't say I ever got mad about it. It amused me more than anything.

The guy in the hospital was so far out of line, though, it must have been hard not to slap his face. That would have gotten you fired, I'm sure. It could be possible that he's slipping off the road a little mentally, though, and has trouble judging where the line is between playful flitrting and gross abuse. Age sometimes affects behavioral judgement. You might consider giving him the benefit of doubt on that one.

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tothefuture

But I suppose the point is that this isn't how you'd normally behave.

He does not have the right to behave the way he did, and you have the right to act accordingly - but within your professional code of conduct. (Even pressing charges if you felt so inclined).

But hearing the diagnosis of herpes sends us all into spiralling hell. In one shape or another - I suppose I should say most of us.

Give yourself time to get used to even the idea of you having this virus. I would say it's taken me 2 and a half years to finally not feel overwhelmed by it. And I really don't anymore.

So I can promise you it does get better.

And you are not dirty for catching this virus! Just like you wouldn't be dirty if you'd caught chicken pox.

You're a nurse so you're in a great position to put all that knowledge about disease/viruses/ill-health to good use. Give yourself the same advice you'd give a good friend.

I wish you luck.

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tohealth
It was all I could do not to punch the fucker in the face. The stupid old fuck pisses the bed and thinks Id be interested? How fucken dare he say that to me. ...At the end of my rant I told him that I was no longer nursing him and not to press the buzzer again

Hahahahahahah! Good for you, the ol' fart! :evil: No professional has to endure fricken harassment from the fricken patient....

WOW, that sucks. I would have beat the rest of his piss right out of him.

:smile:

I don't know why it is, but the older guys get, the more they think they can get away with.

So true, so true...

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ihadthiscoming

Thanks guys, I hadn't gotten in trouble because I found out while debriefing with the others that he'd made similar comments thou not as foul to other nurses. Im inclined to think total old bastard rather then demented, he just picked the wrong nurse on the wrong night. I think lesson taught.

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ouch

God, I would have taken a urine sample from him, then dumped it on his head. That or threaten to chop off his so-called "manhood". What a disgusting old coot. THIS is the reason why I could never be a nurse. It takes infinite patience to deal with patients. Something I KNOW i do not have.

Same reason I could NEVER be a cop... I would walk up on somebody beating their kid or a child murderer, and I would torture first, shoot second, and ask questions later.

I am sorry you had to deal with this piece of shit. You were already having a bad day, and then you get THAT sort of treatment.

By the way, you are NOT dirty for having herpes. I wish this term was never used (although, I totally understand where you are coming from...I think we all get that "oh god, I am dirty/tainted" train of thought when we first contract it.) But you are not "bad" or "dirty" just because you have herpes, and I know you know this.

I think this codger just made things worse for you that day, by making that "dirty nurse" comment. What a tool. And let me tell you, many of these old bastards use their age as a means to do and say inappropriate things, then hide under the cloak of "oh gee, I am old, and weak, and senile"...when they are NOT!! HE is the dirty one, not you!!

I sure hope you are feeling better today!! Take care of yourself!! ;-)

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ihadthiscoming

Yup he was very close to getting urine dumped on his head hahaha. I told my friend about the whole event, he said

"Hmmm what would Florence Nightingale think?"

I said "She'd think RIGHT ON SISTER!"

.... Florence Nightingale is well known for having syphilis! hahah!!

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tothefuture

Hang on a minute.

It seems to me that some of the responses that essentially say - 'treat this man as badly as you want', are really a way of saying - 'you/me do not deserve this. You/I are not dirty or bad in anyway, just because we have herpes'.

I say this, because there's no questions about why this man would behave in this way. Urine infection springs to mind. Or of course, sheer badness. But regardless, it's not been discussed.

What I do know, is that this has nothing to do with his nurse having herpes.

If the patient's behaviour is attributed to dementia - Im inclined to think total old bastard rather then demented. - then all I can say is...poor old sod. Acting out of character in this way would surely cause him great shame, if in deed, he had the insight, which of course he may not have.

Behaving in such a way with other nurses does not rule out dementia. I would suggest the opposite.

Recently I was pestered by a patient while I was out socially - it was in no way as inappropriate as the behaviour described by ihadthiscoming, but I went back to work the next day, discharged him and transferred him to a male therapist.

I will not put up with crap. In any form. On any day.

But I did not shout and swear at him.

Had he not been a patient, trust me, I would have done.

I do not, in any way, blame ihadthiscoming's for her behaviour.

I've been there, done that - meaning being diagnosed with herpes. And the SLIGHTEST thing could have made me feel quite crazy.

But would I condone her response?

Absolutely not.

Because, if for no other reason, had a manager heard her, she could now be out of a job. And - 'I'd just found out I have herpes' - would be no defence.

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tothefuture

And if I was ihadthiscoming would I lose any sleep over the incident - again, absolutley not.

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ihadthiscoming

I didn't lose any sleep, but I was very angry. As this is not a nurses forum, I didn't go on to say "MSU -ve, patient alert and orientated, has a history of anti-social behaviour, blood results NAD, nil hx of cognitive issues, currently admission for respite for family"

If my rant was witnessed I would have had councilling, and I certainly would not have been out of a job. Also, I am the co-ordinator of the hospital.

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tothefuture

Interesting. So are you now saying your behaviour was acceptable? Because previously you wrote; I proberbly could have handled it much better if it wasn't for the H bomb, but I did what I did.

I think I may have jumped to conclusions and thought there may have been an organic cause for the behaviour, but this was only because you said; Im inclined to think total old bastard rather then demented.

Given your description of him in your last post, I don't think shouting and swearing at him will have made any difference to him - unfortunately.

The NHS in England is supposed to practice 'zero tolerance' for staff, but even when patients act in an anti-social manner it's not uncommon for the staff to have complaints put in against them. So our behaviour is then scrutinised during enquiries.

I think our response to patients needs to be in proportion to the behaviour we are subjected to. But you stated that you thought you could have handled it better, so I was responding accordingly.

Finally, I'm not sure what your point is when you say you are the co-ordinator of the hospital??? What relevance has it to this situation?

Anyway, I think this discussion has gone off the point.

That is, how living with herpes can be hard, especially in the early days, and how it makes stress around us even harder to deal with.

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