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so.upset

Don't Know What to Do

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so.upset

I have been crying constantly for 2 weeks (that's how long it's been since I was diagnosis). I have never had an STI in my life then all of a sudden I have Herpes? I don't know where I got it from. I have only sleep with 4 people in my entire life and I was in long term relationships with each. The shortest one was 2 years! I have not slept with anyone in a year and all of a sudden I have Herpes? I can't even type it without crying. I have tried all my life to be so careful...just don't understand. If it is the person who I think gave it to me. That was 4 years ago. Is it common to have it for so long without symptoms? I just don't care about enjoying life or doing anything anymore and I don't ever think I will. I was supposed to get married next year (my ex-fiance is negative) but I have called it off even though he still wants to. Why would I put him through this. I feel so disgusting inside. I really think I need counseling because I'm not dealing well with this news. If killing myself was not a sin...I think I would. I have adopted dangerous behaviors like walking by myself in dangerous neighborhoods at night hoping someone will take me out. I can't deal with this and I need help.

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powerqu212

Welcome to the roller coaster of Hell .I feel the same way

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rocky1313

Okay, I understand why you're upset (I've been through this myself) but really, taking yourself out because of this stupid virus??

You really need to put things into perspective. This is not a deadly virus; it is annoying yes and it affects your sex life to some extent but it is manageable. In time, you will see that. I don't mean to make light of your situation but it really doesn't need to alter your life like you think it does at this point. Give it some time and you will see, this is manageable and the right person will understand and deal with it. Trust me, I've had it for about 12 years and I've managed to have healthy relationships, great sex included! Hang in there, give it some time; things will get better I assure you...

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seashell

I agree with rocky. Hang in there,k.

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tenderheart22

I know exactly what you are going through. Except I know who I got it from, and believe me knowing doesn't make it any easier, because chances are the person doesn't even know they have it and will deny it. I was a very cautious person too. I didn't have sex until I was 19, and that was the person who gave it to me. I cried for a long time, and felt suicidal, and felt like no one would ever love me, and yea I still feel that way some days. Especially lately because I have spent most of the last month in bed waiting to get over this OB (which is either my second OB ever or I was infected with the other strain). Honestly, I don't see the reason you would call off your wedding over this. You found someone who loves you enough that it doesn't matter. I think a lot of people on here would be jealous, I know I am! And if you are worried about giving it to him then you can do suppressive therapy, wear condoms, etc. As for the dangerous behaviours... STOP. There is no need. I went through it too. My mother walked in on me and a bottle of pills, I would take off into the woods (I pretty much live in a forest) and just cry and think about staying there and dying, and I got drunk a few times in the middle of the day. I went to doctors. I went to counselling. I was also dealing with a very bad breakup (my long-term boyfriend who gave me herpes just up and left me one day for another girl who is pregnant with his kid) I think what really helped was this board, and the stories of everyone, and people encouraging me and others that it will be ok.

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so.upset

feelingworthless22,

Thanks, your comments make me feel a little bit better. They gave my acyclovir but 3 days after I started taking it I broke out in a terrible rash all over my body and I had the feeling of heaviness on my chest. Needless to say they took my off of it and said that I should not try any of the other medications for this because they are in the same family and I will most likely have an allergic reaction to them. I know there is no cure, but I have been looking up alternative on the internet. Does anyone know if Dynamiclear really works? Thanks.

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quincy

so. upset I know how you feel i just recently found out as well . its so hard to deal with . I never have had and STDs and have been in only 4 long term relationships as well. my first being my juionr year in college and my next my ex husband and then two one year relationships after that. never had a one nighter. It just amazes me to know all the people that sleep around all the time and never get anything. IT DOESNT' SEEM FAIR. i think you should give this guy a chance. He must really love you. remembre we are not disgusting. 'we were in loving relationships. at least i thought at the time. many people have sex, many people have relationships, we didn't do anything that most people have done. if i had someone right now that would accept this i would jump at it.(if they were worth it) i think the scariest thing about this is just having to tell someone.

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herpabola

Hi

how would you feel if you got it without even having sex at all?? i got an std through my finger? how mad would you be? im also VERY hygenic and i never do number 2 outside home + never touch door knobs.... i think god hates me altho im a nice perrson :[

oh and same as you...ive been totally messed up more than enough as ive been absent from these forums since my finger looked like a sausage....

i got it through my finger...it traveled through my whole body wrecking every thiing...i got heart pains..kidney pains...skin started burning without rash...then my testicles started feeling like someone is constantly kicking me..this went for 10 minutes..i cried (25 yo male!!)....then i get this stupid canker sour in my mouth....the doc said because my immune system reacted violently...whatever that means...im a whole bunch of messes...not to mention how my upper nose part felt like i had dried glue on it..so yeah this virus doesnt care if ur sweet, an ass, a jerk, an angel....it just needs a place to acommidate its siblingssss

oh i went to a second doctor and told me i have herpes ZOSTER!!...wtf?? his justification is...Herpes zoster travels through the nerves and causes the symptons i described.....its crazy life for me now...first it was simplex..then zoster...then docs started saying its all in my head (all the body pains) !@!#@

goodluck to all of us for recovery.

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ChooChooy
Okay, I understand why you're upset (I've been through this myself) but really, taking yourself out because of this stupid virus??

You really need to put things into perspective. This is not a deadly virus; it is annoying yes and it affects your sex life to some extent but it is manageable. In time, you will see that. I don't mean to make light of your situation but it really doesn't need to alter your life like you think it does at this point. Give it some time and you will see, this is manageable and the right person will understand and deal with it. Trust me, I've had it for about 12 years and I've managed to have healthy relationships, great sex included! Hang in there, give it some time; things will get better I assure you...

I totally agree. My girl has herpes, she told me AFTER my second time sleeping with her, but I'm still with her for months now and sometimes I've forgotten and slipped up and went in without a rubber. She says she hasn't had an outbreak in years, and it's the type I can't catch orally, but still.. I've slept with a lot of women and being that 1 in 5 have it (1 in 5 considering those TESTED) most of us probably have it and don't even know.

It's really not that big of a deal, and I believe most medicines for it are nonsense. Just live your life as normal as if you don't have it, and not think about it. The biggest thing that makes the outbreaks from what I've noticed is people's minds. Depression, anger, etc. My advice is continue living as you have. As long as you don't let it control you might even forget that you had it in the first place.

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road river
I totally agree. My girl has herpes, she told me AFTER my second time sleeping with her, but I'm still with her for months now and sometimes I've forgotten and slipped up and went in without a rubber. She says she hasn't had an outbreak in years, and it's the type I can't catch orally, but still.. I've slept with a lot of women and being that 1 in 5 have it (1 in 5 considering those TESTED) most of us probably have it and don't even know.

It's really not that big of a deal, and I believe most medicines for it are nonsense. Just live your life as normal as if you don't have it, and not think about it. The biggest thing that makes the outbreaks from what I've noticed is people's minds. Depression, anger, etc. My advice is continue living as you have. As long as you don't let it control you might even forget that you had it in the first place.

You're getting some solid advice here. And a good dose of reality from ChooChooy. Just remember, this is not "hell"; it's a stigma. Perspective is what's important here. I too am in a relationship that is on its way to marriage, and she too is totally supportive through this new development. But I too can't help but feel terrible about it despite the support. And I know that that is the weak part of me trying to claw for my attention. Don't listen to that weak part in you, in us all. We must deal with what's given to us and try to not make things worse in the process. You have someone who truly loves you. And years ago, before I got diagnosed, I dated someone who had this. And I didn't care. So I have the luxury of understanding that role. Just be strong & accept the love. YOU are totally deserving of it, and deep down you know it--that part is the strong part that you should be listening to, always.

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