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Beijing08

Ive got it, what now? Sex life over?

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Beijing08

Hi,

I just got it confirmed today, that I have genital Herpes.

As u can all imagine, it is a frustrating time, I am very down on myself because I have lived a pretty active, careless sex life in Asia over the past few years.

So i guess, i deserve this in a way.

What I am really interested in is how you all deal with it at first. I know time will help to adjust and adapt. However, right now I feel like my life has changed forever.

I still want to live an active sex life, and hopefully meet my lifelong partner soon.

But, I really fear passing it on to someone else who does not deserve it. I can deal with my actions, but I often meet girls who have not had much sex in their life and it would kill me with guilt to pass it on to them.

How is your sex life once u have herpes?

Does this mean i can never have unprotected sex again?

I always use protection with strangers, but with girlfriends I am close to, I really love the natural feeling, without a condom.

Please, I appreciate any advice from people who live active sex lives with herpes. I hope to see some light in this dark moment.

Cheers.

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dnd3d
Hi,

I just got it confirmed today, that I have genital Herpes.

As u can all imagine, it is a frustrating time, I am very down on myself because I have lived a pretty active, careless sex life in Asia over the past few years.

So i guess, i deserve this in a way.

What I am really interested in is how you all deal with it at first. I know time will help to adjust and adapt. However, right now I feel like my life has changed forever.

I still want to live an active sex life, and hopefully meet my lifelong partner soon.

But, I really fear passing it on to someone else who does not deserve it. I can deal with my actions, but I often meet girls who have not had much sex in their life and it would kill me with guilt to pass it on to them.

How is your sex life once u have herpes?

Does this mean i can never have unprotected sex again?

I always use protection with strangers, but with girlfriends I am close to, I really love the natural feeling, without a condom.

Please, I appreciate any advice from people who live active sex lives with herpes. I hope to see some light in this dark moment.

Cheers.

Yes your life has changed forever. Lets just say that you won't feel the natural feeling anymore and your unprotected sex life is pretty much over. People keep saying time will heal everything, it hasn't healed shit for me. Although I was diagnosed two years ago while I was with someone, this year I've been single since Jan. I got into a relationship about two months ago and the girl bailed on me when she found out I had herpes. My moral, self worth, dignity were destroyed and still are. There is a pain in my soul that I've never felt before, my spirit seems to have vanish and I'm just a body right now. Although I was only with this girl for three weeks, I'm having a tough time rebounding from just a rejection. I suppose I shouldn't have opened up my heart to her that early in the game, should have waited a bit longer to lay the H bomb on her. I keep reliving the moments prior to the H bomb, thinking about how great everything was, the great times we had.

I will add though after the relationship I was in where I got herpes.. which totally could have been prevented on my part - we had a threesome with a girl and this is what makes the pain much worse - I did manage to get into another relationship and the girl stuck around even with my herpes.

Mind you I've only had 6 partners in my life (im 29) so I'm not going around sleeping with everything that has a pulse. So I think that's why this time it's so much more devastating, because I wasn't really ready for her reaction nor was I prepared enough for the talk.

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Gonzales

If you're lucky, you'll find someone lovely that already has it too, or somebody that doesn't care about it.

Then unprotected sex is back.

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cheeseontoast

i have read that there are ways of having unprotected sex with the virus and without spreading.. i'm not too sure on how it works so i can't give you much advice, but if you read through many of the threads there is alot of information.

i do believe it is about 'shedding', which is also talked about alot and many articles on.

i do hope this helps

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Gonzales
i have read that there are ways of having unprotected sex with the virus and without spreading.. i'm not too sure on how it works so i can't give you much advice, but if you read through many of the threads there is alot of information.

i do believe it is about 'shedding', which is also talked about alot and many articles on.

i do hope this helps

Probably 'asymptomatic/viral shedding', when the virus surfaces without you seeing any physical symptoms or feeling anything, during which one is very infectious to others, and it is also during such periods that many people get infected.

- "I didn't see any symptoms on him/her, and here I am."

You can be shedding just about anytime, and there isn't any good and quick way of determining when or if you are shedding. This means that if you have unprotected sex, you will always be at the risk of infecting your partner, be it that he or she doesn't have it.

Bastard herpes. Oh well...

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