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gszwez

Help With Wife

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gszwez

Hi Im new to the thread and i need answers and opinions as i am very confused. I have just been tested and tested positive to both HS1 And HS2. The problem is i cant get my wife to test because she thinks I cheated on her and thats where I got it. (Which is not true). Shes starting to get sick and I fear its going to get worse. It all started when I first met her and after our first sextual encounter I got little red eruptions all over the tip off my penis and extreme burning during urination and high fever. And my poor member just had the look of coming off the front line of war. Being iwas not sextually active i was to embarresed to say any thing so i went to a free clinic got diagnosed with chlamidiya and told to watch the red bumps, after 2 weeks everything cleared up and we had sex for the second time unprotected! I know how stupid it sounds but she was on birth control and was very proud of it as she loved showing off her little green box every where she went. Same results for me and no results for her. Since that night i do not believe either one of us has slept with anyone else. This time the clinic told me go see a urologist. She upon my requst went to her gyno and was diagnosed with chlamydia. When i asked her about her sextual past I was told she hadnt been with anyone for over a year. When I told the urologist her history i was given the honor of waiting 2 weeks for HIV test results. Fast forward 3 children and 18 years into the future and still no truth about her past as she believed it was none of my buisness. During that period our birth controll turned into the condom, until I pretty much got tired of it and asked her to try some sort of birth control so we could go condomless. After 3 years of begging and explaining how special it would be to me guess what more trojans. Finally without consulting her I desided to have a VASECTOMY on my own. This is when things got really intersting!!!!!!! About three months after the procedure I started to feel like a totally different person. Constant fatigue, jont pain, arthritus feeling in my hands and sores on my vericous veins that would not heel like open ulcers. I thought that this might be a immune response to the sperm, i consulted my urologist and was about to do areversal as i could not go on living feeling the way I did. He on the other hand said that it was completely unrelated. But I figured that was the only thing different the only thing that held me back was the $8500 dollar price tag but as time went on the worse i felt and more reasonable the price sounded. Then after about a year after the procedure I staring getting numbness in my hands arms and feet. By this time iwas getting real scared and my docter wanted to start sending me to urologists , dermatologist ,neurologist and auto imune specalist. By this time I was getting addicted to pain medication as it was the only way to function with everything going wrong with me. My personality also started to change as i startedc to lose intrest in everything. I also srarted to get very angry at my wife for not trying birth control. I began to learn a little here and there about her sextual past and tha absolute stupidity of her decision making.

She came from a small town and lets just say pretty much every male in town got a tour of the little green box she basically let eveyone have sex with her without a condom, between 20 and 50 condomless guys!!!!!!!! Total including people with condoms and oral sex is absolutly down right scary. that was before she turned 19teen. She calls it permiscuis but most people have a few different words. What scared me the most is when she finally gave me the number she looked me square in the eye and said thats not that many, she thought it was normal and she knew nothing of stds. At the same time i was getting my symptoms she started to have all kinds of OBs that we thought were dry skin. It had been so long since my initial exposure and since we had no new partners we completly forgot about STDs. Now because of her lack of knowledge and the duration of time she blames me for cheating on her and refuses to go get tested!! My question is were the complications i had after the vesectomy signs of herpes even if there were no skin breakouts or were they related to my body reacting to the sperm that had no where to go? I did blood work and my antibodys were so high they thought i had lupas. Also how do i get my wife to get tested so other diseases HPV dont do further damage?

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Kya

My dear, that dosnt sound like fun at all.

sounds like your wife had an uneducated upbringing when it concerned sexual activities. Saying that, there are still people that know all the risks and yet they still preceed to have unprotected sex and only thing they worry about is pregnancy and where the next sexual encournter will be!!

I dont think there is any way you can force her to go get checked out! She mgiht be scared of the results, in that she may well have herpes as well, and had it all along, passing it onto you when you first had sex.

The time between your first sexual encounter and the symptoms does make it sound like you caught it from her. Though there is a small chance you were the carrier (but with her past... she took a hell of alot of risks! and exposed herself to a number potential harmful infections! Chlamidiya for one can make a female infertile, which cleary she's luckly now since yo have children.

Its difficult to make someone own up to the facts and go and get tested. I've tried making some of my friends go and get tested as they have done a few silly things, say, in the past and who knows what that other person had!! (Or what my friends have and have now passed on!!)

sorry to hear your in this situation, hope it works out in the best way possible for you!!

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powerqu212

your wife is in denial try getting her medical records and that will tell you everything she probably has it and wants you to believe you gave it to her so that way you are back on your heels with this and she don't have to worry about it .Lets look at the big picture when everyone on this board even thought they might have it they went straight to the doctor because of the shock and horror of it all .Now she has it and doesn't even want to go to the doctor toget better Why do you think that is can you say because she has already seen a Doctor about this and she knows there is nothing they can do .She knows all about the pain in her snatch and she has been able to deal with it just fine why do you think she wants you to wear a condom Hello wake up Get her medical records and find out when she was tested .She knows the pain you are going through and doesn't want to talk about it .We all feel bad about this and don't want to talk about the pain that will come from this or Its a long shot when you got the Vacectomy the doctor infected you but my guess she has it and dosen't want you to know get those medical records MY interpetation what happends ONce inside it barracades itself like the movie 300 with all thoughs shields around it your body imediatley tries to kill it but they keep bouncing off thier shields as it travels down to your spine to find a place to hide then it slowly starts to send out troops to start a war on your body .It then travels up to the surface where it breaks out getting ready for the next body to enter after being there for sometime your body keeps attacting these little critters but to not luck evntually the ones that got to the top die the litttle bugger in your spine retreats meaning dosen't send out anymore troops because your immune system is up it its too rough out there so he sits and waits for the sea to calm down meaning your system is weak and tired .Then he sends out his troops again to destroy whatever is in its way to breakout and find another place to manifest, another human body .The body tries to fight off the inttruder but he is way to tough noone can stop it once it enters the body .When this first happends the body has never seen anything like before it its life and darts out to try and kill it but to no prevail.It thinks it can but it cant its just way to tough so it chases it in hiding where all is calm .And when things are quiet and your body is stressed and worn down it comes out like gang busters because it knows now is the time to send out the troops when it is weak they multiply like crazy racing to breakout of your skin to find another victim to jump on and enter thier world .So you see this war plays on constantly all through your life and they just begin to live with one another battleing and battle that will never end Its the Good versus The Evil in your body

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Kya
.Now she has it and doesn't even want to go to the doctor toget better Why do you think that is can you say because she has already seen a Doctor about this and she knows there is nothing they can do .She knows all about the pain in her snatch and she has been able to deal with it just fine why do you think she wants you to wear a condom

Aye, I didnt pick up on that. That she knows all about it and that is why she now insists on using condoms to try and prevent the spreading. However, since you already have it, and I take it you told her that you have it, then why would she need to keep up the pretense??

suggesting that you have cheated beacuse you have it, would only lead to you either becoming sick of defending yourself and leaving or giving in and saying.... fine! wotever and she can sit back and feel she got away with it and doesnt need to own up.

Thats if it is indeed her that passed it to you. She may be in denile! Its very common for people to be so. She may have not come to terms with it and only managed to push it to the back of her mind and blocked it out! now with you being tested positive for it, will make her have to bring it all back up again!

1 in 4 people have this, and the numbers she has slept with (that she admits to) would have drastically increased her chances! Was she not informed that this little pill packet of hers wouldnt protect her from catching any and all STI's?? also its not even 100% effective at preventing pregnancy.

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gszwez

You know i never even thought about the fact that she knew and thats why she made me wear a condom. Im almost positive that i didnt give it to her because i never had sex unprotected but you never know. The other thing i forgot to mention was she came down with a thyroid disease hypo around the same time as my vasectomy. I know everything is some how related but i just cant figure it out? Shes only 38 and her thyroid stoped working i cant help to think it was somehow caused by the herpes. It is a viral infection and that is one of the causes of thyroid disease. Also her thyroid stopped working it wasnt like they can cure it she'll be on the medication for the rest of her life. She has had it for avery long time. Im almost 100 percent she gave it to me because of what happened to my penis right after sex it was basically unfuctional for anything. Both the way it looked and the way it worked. She definetly gave me at least one std that i know of. And most people usually have more than one. But if you do the exponetial factor to the number of people its like 4 million. But after the first time after i got it cleared up the second time was just like the first

it wasnt like i had to sleep with her 6times to catch something again. It was instant her privates must have been using with all kinds of diseases. But its funny once we metthere was no mention of her past an she no longer was in her town. So i was her ticket out iknew nothing about her.

The funny thing is she is such a clean honest wholesome person. I would never suspect her of cheating on me and i could honestly say idont think shes ever lied again. But boy did the first one make a mess. I can honestly say that when we met it was love at first sight for both of us we really were sole mates. And we both knew we were going to be together for life. I feel maybe someone let me find her and cure her of the diseases because like i said it was toxic down there. it was only a matter of time before she was going to be sterile. They funny thing is i could tell when we were intamite it was making love and not having sex and i could tell that was something she never experienced. no matter how many people she had sex with. Whay scares me though is the number she said 20. First its an even number and second guys usually exagerate up and women down.

anyway im going for another hiv test tomarrow that really scares me. The first had nowhere near enough time for antibodies. But ever since the vasectomy I have never felt anywhere close to the way i used to. I'd give anything to feel like my old self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Kya

I hope that all the results come back negative!! I know how frightening it can be to go in for blood tests! Still waiting on my results. Another 2 weeks I should think and I will know!!

Even if they come back negative, she really needs to go and get herself checked out. As for the thyroid, I know someone with the same problem. Has to take meds everyday, but they work!

If she knows she has herpes and is trying to prevent you from getting it by insisting on condoms... makes no sense. I take it you told her about having both types, so why would she be hiding still? Apart from being worried that you might get angry becasue she lied and never told you. Or she is trying to protect herself, becasue she 1) doesnt have it or 2) doesnt know she has it.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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