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a little help from the ladies please!!!

kingsfan

By kingsfan,
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kingsfan Honeycomb Member

kingsfan

Posted
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ok.. here is the deal...

i have screwed up BIG time.. & not sure where to start...so hows the beginning sound...

i have had herpes for about 12 years now...& i have an outbreak once or twice a year these days...

reciently, i went on an extended business trip on which i met a girl & one thing led to another... im sure you know where im headed... we had unprotected sex. yes. i know that i screwed up big time in not saying anything to her in the first place.. i was thinking with the wrong head at the time...

the issues comes in that we really hit it off and we wound up both wanting to continue our relationship. i think the world of her and now i have to face up to the issue of telling her about it... which is something i should have done at the very outset....

this is where i need help. i know that i must tell her... but how to go about it... ???

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Lasmom Acknowledged Support Member

Lasmom

Posted
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The big questions...

have you had continued unprotected sex with her?

Have you had any outbreaks?

Are you on suppressive therapy?

We'll start ther. OK?

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sad2bhere Honeycomb Member

sad2bhere

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I just went through this and I can tell you, the longer you wait, the harder it gets. Bite the bullet and do it NOW.

I have had herpes 10 yrs and I hope (like you) that means it's lost strength in me. My shred of hope...

That and hoping that my friend's HSV titer comes up negative.

I am sending you a private message, please check your mailbox.

(Hey, and is it ok I root for the Lakers next Wed night? *grin* Kings fan, as in Sacramento Kings??)

s2bh

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kingsfan Honeycomb Member

kingsfan

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Lasmom: no... i went home... that effectively stopped us from having any kind of sex....

last time i had an outbreak was aproximatly 8-10 months ago

no suppresive therapy

and s2bh............lakers??? tsk tsk tsk... LOL ;)

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Lasmom Acknowledged Support Member

Lasmom

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Her chances of having it are slim - in your favor I guess... but the fact that you didn't tell her, and didn't protect her from it is going to be your biggest hurdle. You need to tell her now - you both should get retested for everything to clear the slate - get your butt on a plane if this girl is this important to you and do all of this together - but she needs to know - the longer you wait - the bigger the "lie" you know?

WHat else is in your favor: women accept this news WAY better than men do - be concious of her feelings - and respect them.

Good luck - let us know how you do....

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kingsfan Honeycomb Member

kingsfan

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well.. unfortunatly... hopping on a plane at this point in time is not really an option although i wish it were...

and i didnt know that women were more accepting of this... kinda odd really

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Lasmom Acknowledged Support Member

Lasmom

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Yeah - its true - women I think are more knowledgable about this stuff due to our communications with other women - gyn health issues, etc.. women generally are more open ti "issues". With many exceptions, men appear to be more defensive with health issues - how many men do you hear talking about another friends penile issues?? Porn maybe, stds - probably not... Hardly ever right? Unless of course, they are talking to women...

It a society issue - how we were raised - men aren't nurses... women are caregivers, etc...

All of this is a bonus for you where the odds of her listening, showing empathy, and caring for you regardless are great. The sleeping with her without telling... well... thats your issue. But I think you knew that. :wink:

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Lasmom Acknowledged Support Member

Lasmom

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Remember if she had questions/concerns, needs to talk - and sorry to say, she may want a womans side, send her here... we'll delete your posts first! :D

Good luck KF...

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