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a little help from the ladies please!!!


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ok.. here is the deal...

i have screwed up BIG time.. & not sure where to start...so hows the beginning sound...

i have had herpes for about 12 years now...& i have an outbreak once or twice a year these days...

reciently, i went on an extended business trip on which i met a girl & one thing led to another... im sure you know where im headed... we had unprotected sex. yes. i know that i screwed up big time in not saying anything to her in the first place.. i was thinking with the wrong head at the time...

the issues comes in that we really hit it off and we wound up both wanting to continue our relationship. i think the world of her and now i have to face up to the issue of telling her about it... which is something i should have done at the very outset....

this is where i need help. i know that i must tell her... but how to go about it... ???

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The big questions...

have you had continued unprotected sex with her?

Have you had any outbreaks?

Are you on suppressive therapy?

We'll start ther. OK?

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I just went through this and I can tell you, the longer you wait, the harder it gets. Bite the bullet and do it NOW.

I have had herpes 10 yrs and I hope (like you) that means it's lost strength in me. My shred of hope...

That and hoping that my friend's HSV titer comes up negative.

I am sending you a private message, please check your mailbox.

(Hey, and is it ok I root for the Lakers next Wed night? *grin* Kings fan, as in Sacramento Kings??)


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Lasmom: no... i went home... that effectively stopped us from having any kind of sex....

last time i had an outbreak was aproximatly 8-10 months ago

no suppresive therapy

and s2bh............lakers??? tsk tsk tsk... LOL ;)

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Her chances of having it are slim - in your favor I guess... but the fact that you didn't tell her, and didn't protect her from it is going to be your biggest hurdle. You need to tell her now - you both should get retested for everything to clear the slate - get your butt on a plane if this girl is this important to you and do all of this together - but she needs to know - the longer you wait - the bigger the "lie" you know?

WHat else is in your favor: women accept this news WAY better than men do - be concious of her feelings - and respect them.

Good luck - let us know how you do....

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well.. unfortunatly... hopping on a plane at this point in time is not really an option although i wish it were...

and i didnt know that women were more accepting of this... kinda odd really

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Yeah - its true - women I think are more knowledgable about this stuff due to our communications with other women - gyn health issues, etc.. women generally are more open ti "issues". With many exceptions, men appear to be more defensive with health issues - how many men do you hear talking about another friends penile issues?? Porn maybe, stds - probably not... Hardly ever right? Unless of course, they are talking to women...

It a society issue - how we were raised - men aren't nurses... women are caregivers, etc...

All of this is a bonus for you where the odds of her listening, showing empathy, and caring for you regardless are great. The sleeping with her without telling... well... thats your issue. But I think you knew that. :wink:

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Remember if she had questions/concerns, needs to talk - and sorry to say, she may want a womans side, send her here... we'll delete your posts first! :D

Good luck KF...

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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