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can't get over it


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I am new to this forum, and I've been glued to my computer this evening reading people's posts. I am SO angry, hurt, and beside myself with overwhelming feelings that I have to carry this piece of my former uncle (dad's sister's ex) who orally raped me when I was four years old...He was the one who gave my cousin and I oral herpes. My outbreaks have been getting worse and worse. It makes me feel like my sex life is out of control because when I have a partner I can't just have sex like normal couples do; I have to think, Am I having an outbreak (unless she happens to have herpes too.) I feel that a part of myself has been taken away.

I just don't know how to handle this.


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my former uncle (dad's sister's ex) who orally raped me when I was four years old...He was the one who gave my cousin and I oral herpes.

Chris - I don't know where to begin - I'm stumped. I am fighting the tears myself - what the fuck is wrong with this world? I hope that basard is in jail or worse...

When I was 13 my 12 year old cousin was raped by her uncle - also by marriage - he told her that if she talked I would be next - we switched off babysitting his 1 year old daughter. In fear for me she told me - and we told the adults - he went to jail, but is now out. My cousin and I were talking about herpes, she has hsv1 orally, and she didn't know here it came from, and we thought about his daughter - she has it also - but worse - and his face flashed in front of me - I remember him with cold sores - and were figure he gave it to both of them - how f'd up is this?

Your story srtuck me like a baseball bat - 4? my daughter is 3 - I can't imagine - I'm so sorry you went through, and I'm sure continue to go through this. I want you to lnow - both of my cousins are wonderful people - the older one had a new baby daughter 2 days ago - and the 1 year old is now 22 - and a wonderful person as well - she didn't know what her father did - until recently - we protected her from that - but we always stuck together - we are best friends the group of us - I only hope that you had support though this.

My God Chris - hugs to you - yes, a part of your life was taken away - but not by herpes - everytime you ave an OB you must be reminded - but know that you are not alone - not with H, or rape. You know - for all that experience - I was raped in college - you think I would have known better - but shit happens to the best of us. Get angry - get strong - but don't let it beat you - you are obviously a man of great heart to share that with us - please feel welcome in this family - you are certainly welcome in mine - please feel free to contact me here - or via private message at anytime.

Love to you Chris. I wish I could take it all away for you.



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Thank you so much for your support. I'm so sorry for what you and your cousins endured, and at such a tender age. It is an awful thing to go through...It's beyond me how some people have such cruelty and hate in them. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. I didn't tell anybody about what happened to me for 10 years, until I was 14, and then I had a real mess to deal with.

Take care my dear, and I will be here if you want to talk.



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      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
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