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Hi Everyone,

I haven't been on in awhile, I've been pretty busy.

For those of you who don't know me, I'll explain. I found out that I had HSV2 last October, the 14th to be precise. (I don't think I will ever forget that date). Anyway, read some of my previous posts from when I was a newbie to this site. I was in emotional pain. I was not myself for about three months. I don't even remember a lot of events.....like I think I must of been in a different world. Well, I came to this site, learned so much from other people, and was given inner hope from wonderful people on this site (faith, lasmom, pilot).

Well, two months ago whenever I would drink with my friends I would start to cry and think that no one would want to be with me. Hysterical crying...mostly from the alcohol, but you do have to be sad inside for that to happen in the first place.

My family and friends tried so hard to get me out of it. My sister finally said that I needed to snap out of it, that it wasn't a big deal, etc. I just thought it was easy for her to say because she doesn't have it and she has no idea since she has a boyfriend and they will probably be getting married soon. Well, she was right.

About a month and a half ago I met someone. It's so hard for me to explain how much fun we have together. We flew a kite a couple of weeks ago- crazy, but I was laughing on the ground most of the time. Everytime we are together time flies. we don't ever want to leave each others side. I dated him for three weeks and decided that I couldn't hide this negative piece of info about me.

I called him and told him that I would be coming over later because we needed to talk. I did this so that I couldn't get out of it when I got there. I arrived and he knew something was wrong. (i think i had a panic attack on the way over to his house). He sat down right next to me and I said, i have to tell you something not so positive about myself. I went straight into my sexual history. Told him how many men I had been with and even the circumstances of my last relationship. It was so hard to get the word herpes out though.....I couldn't do it. He told me to calm down and not to worry about it because sex wasn't all that we were about. I said I know but there's still something I have to tell you. He said do you have to tell me. I said, yes. He said well does your mom and sister think you should tell me. I said yes, but they don't think I should tell you this soon. He said well then tell me at a later date and gave me a hug.

I ended up leaving. He asks that I call him whenever I get home. So that night I called and said...I have to get this out. It's not even a big deal to me anymore, I just want to get it out. He said "I'll be right over". This was at 2am...he lives about 25 minutes away. I told him not to but he insisted.

He came over and the words still would not come out. Then I just decided I would blurt them out. And I did. I said "I need to tell you that I have been exposed to Herpes". And I did what they all say not to do. I started to cry. And I kept looking straight ahead. I didn't want to look at his face.

I told him that I really cared for him and that I wished that he wouldn't make a decision right away. I told him that I would send him some info regarding it.

I decided that I needed to look at him. When I looked at him he had tears welling up in his eyes. At this point I was thinking...I'm out the door. But he turned to me and said that he really cared about me and that nothing was going to stop him from being with me. I then said well I'm going to send you information still so that you understand and that I wanted him to read it before he made a clear decision. He said that he didn't need to read stuff to know what his decision would be but that he would like to learn about it.

Well it's been three weeks since I told him. We are still together. He still tells me everyday (literally) that he is the luckiest guy in the world. He tells me everyday how beautiful and intelligent I am and that he's crazy about me.

He's really the sweetest guy that I've ever met. He is still opening my car door!!!!!!! He makes me smile everyday.

I just wanted to give everyone some hope. I finally decided to have hope. Wasn't looking for anyone and here he came. I could never have imagined. I know it's only been 5 or 6 weeks.....but I am just having so much fun right now and time is flying.

He just asked me to go on vacation with him in September also. Love is so nice.....especially when you're not taking it for granted!

I'll give more updates later. Sorry this is so choppy. My internet is acting weird.

Talk later,


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Thank you for being what you have always been - honest and true to yourself - I'm glad he can see that just as clearly as I can!

Love you baby!


Jesus, aren't happy stories the best!!!!

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Hey Lasmom!!!!

I'm so happy...happy happy happy happy!!!! I just got back from hanging out with him. Time goes by so fast with him it's not even funny.

Looks like you've been busy.

What's a support leader?


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Busy,.... yes...

"Support Leader" - I think it's the prize for bing the granny on the site!!! And I get to banish trolls from leaving "graffitti" all over.... I don't know - I'm just doin what I do.... and hpefully learning from you guys as well....

Happy for you sweetheart.... XXOO

Lasmom (maybe I should change that to "the Mom" :lol: )

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I am a 24 yr old female. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 last week. I read what you wrote and you made me cry! Sounds weird, but I think now that I have it, I will be able to actually find the guy for me, because if he can handle my secret and still care for me, then he's the one! Well, I am so happy for you (even though i dont know you) that you found such a great guy... I love to see people so happy. :lol:

Keep updating with happy stories! It'll give me hope!!

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Thank you so much for your story. I was diagnosed with HSV-1 3 months ago and emotionally I have been a mess. I find myself jelous of my friends and their boyfriends and that was never me before. This virus has had a real toll on my attitude and spirit and i dont like this version of myself. I try to be posititve...I have my good days and bad. I am only 22 and constantly worry about a realtionship in the future. Will i find someone who will except me for me? The answer right now is yes, thanks to your story. I wish you all the best and I hope I too can experience the same joy as you are one day.

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Hi Hope and Coping,

Since I found out that I have HSV-2 I have become a totally different person. The only reason that I think I did find this great guy was because of this. I would not have appreciated his thoughtfulness or anything like that. He's awesome, still is.

I now enjoy sex which I didn't in the first place and never thought having this that I would. I thought that I would think about it the entire time we would be having sex............not the case. I don't even think about it- I enjoy the moment-as he does also.

The only thing I think about with HSV-2 now is I hope I don't have an outbreak cuz I don't want to miss anything with him. It's awesome- and awesome feeling!!!!!!!


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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow, I am really glad for all of you here!! Hopefully in the near future my"friend " will be able to see life in the same light, and hopefully I'll be the one she is talking about!!

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OOOHHH - 3rd post Friend - off to a great start - have your friend come hang out with us - I know exactly how she feels - my bf is neg - and I am very worried about passing this on - so I am very careful - truth is - sex is a natural antidepressant and stress reliever - I think of it as therapy! She just needs time to get used to this, and your knowledge and researching can only help comfort her fears. Bravo to you!!

Waiting for #4....


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Not sure if this is the correct forum for this or not but... what 's up with people that are supposedly in the "know" about this stuff and all they do is basically "badmouth "the subject? Is there some kind of animosity they are feeling because of a experience they once had with a person that may have had this?? Still learning , thanks :?

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Friend - thats why they call it "stigma", fear, wivestales, whatever.

ppl with oral coldsores say they have "coldsores" because it is more accepted that way. Is it better to say HIV or Aids? I think I'd rather hear HIV - cuz "aids" has a stigma...

the word "herpes" is used to describe "dirty" things by old-timers, passed down to our parents - and we remember as children making fun of people saying they have "cooties"

We just have "cooties" people - thats all. I think everyone shold tell someone today that they have "cooties" - in stead of "herpes" - and get a laugh for a change.

Who is "in the know" anhow? if the docs were "in the know" there would be a vaccine by now.

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Thanks for your explanation once again Lasmom, kind of what I was leaning towards if you know what I mean! (I'm sure you do) :wink: Still reading, and asking questions!

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Hey Friend (and others...)

FYI - the other night, my BF and I were having dinner... I was cooking... offered him a spoon to taste what I was cooking after I had tasted it... and he said (jokingly) "I want my own spoon - you have cooties!" :cry:

I was honestly upset despite knowing he was joking - (he meant "girl cooties" cuz my 3 year old was listening) but my mind snapped to feelings of rejection due to herpes...

My point - as much as you know, and accept - it's still a mental game for us - keep that in mind when discussing this stuff with your friend with H...

My BF - as soon as he realized how I felt (and my daughter was no longer in the room) He gave me a big kiss and told me "you know I didn't mean THAT right?" which only made me feel a little better - I don't have an oral infection... now had he dragged me to the bedroom.... well, that may have been better!! :wink:

ps - have I told you how much I appreciate your hangin around with us??? :D

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It's not me is it??? :lol:

I'm actually having a hard time right now - I was with my BF all weekend, and came to work yesterday feeling crappy - thought I was just sore from sex - then I had "tingling" and a half hour later tiny blisters showed up - not good. I got back to my desk to a ringing phone - mt BF, I was upset, told him, he said he wasn't mad - but was obviously upset - I so badly needed him to say - it's OK, I took the risk - we'll see what happens.... but he just said he wasn't mad.

I'm realizing that this is holding me back from allowing myself to be totally with him - relationship wise. I'm afraid to expose him - now I probably have - I'm a mess.

And - the OB is bad - not a big area - but pretty painful - like I'm being punished for exposing him - maybe that stress is making it worse - I don't know.

So friend - I appreciate your words because my BF isn't so good at on-the-spot comforting, and I guess I don't blame him for being pset - his health too.

This really sucks.

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  • 1 month later...

Please help

I was diagnosed with HSV1 in March and until last week had either a rash, sores or severe itching since then. I had just started dating this guy and finally told him last night cause it got to the point that we had decided to have sex so I had to tell him. After I told him he seemed so understanding and we had a great day. Then last night on our way back to my place we stopped for condoms. By the time we gt home he had changed his mind about spending the night. I was ok with that cause I knew he had to think about what I had told him. But today he hasn't returned my call. I left a msg that I understand he doesn't want to go to the next level but that I would still like to talk to him. I have been crying all day. He was the first guy since my divorce 7 yrs ago that I have had feelings for.

I feel so depressed and like I'll never find love again. It's hard enough to find good men out there cause I am a41yr old woman a bit overweight (a BBW)

only 1 friend knows about me and the guy now and my friend bless her heart has tried to help but doesn't know what to do. I have thought about suicide today although I won't do it I sure feel like giving up.

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Good things can happen

Hi again, thought I would update and hopefully make another feel better like this site did me.

I talked with the guy I'm dating and he said not to worry. He was perfectly ok with me and H. We'll just be careful. Even talking about plans this weekend! I know only time will tell but just the fact that he brought up plans for the weekend is sooo ggreat!

I also wanted to thank all the people who contribute to this site. Just reading posts helped!

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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