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I have been living with Herpes for 14 years now!

lady_in_red

By lady_in_red,
in Personal Experience with Herpes

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lady_in_red Newbie

lady_in_red

Posted
Posted

I was raped in January 1990, and have lived with this disease for 14 years now, at first when it all happend, I was in total shock, first of all I was raped, that in itself was a terrible time, but then to find out that I contacted herpes was another blow..I blamed myself for all of it, I couldn't believe that this has happend to me...My life hasn't been the greatest, I was also molested by a family member starting at the age of 10! I was totally and utterly devistated, I tried to commit suicide, I had the lowest self esteem imaginable. I thought that no man would ever love me now, thinking to myself, how could a man love a woman who has been through so much pain and aggervation in her life, I felt like this was the ultimate end to my life..I had 3 outbreaks that first year of getting this disease, and the first one was the worst, it lasted over a week and the pain was intense, I immediately started using the topical cream zovorax, which eased the pain and the breakout times were less.

The doctor tried to give me the oral meds of the same stuff and it totally made me sick, so I went back to using the zovorax. Now its unavailable to get, they just started me on Valtrex, and so far its given me a headache. After the 3rd breakout that year, the disease went into the dormant stage and I didn't have another outbreak for 7 years, at that time, I thought the tests were wrong, because it laid dormant for so long, it was nice and I didn't think about it. Now its 2004 and I am having my 3rd outbreak and its painful and drives me nuts, but over the years of not having any, I went to councelling and was on anti-depressants and found out alot about myself, and that this disease will not control my life anymore..Its been a long 14 years, and my advice to you is to find out who you are, and control you..Don't let this disease control you, some people get this from having unprotected sex, which is a mistake, but in the same breath, you are the one who controls you, its not impossible to live with this disease.

You just have to make sure you dont' give it to anyone else, that isn't fair, it isn't fair that you have it, but why make someone else feel like you feel? I just recently got married (2weeks ago today :D ) and he accepts me and all that I am made of...I am having a breakout now as I am writing this, and he totally understands the need to be "apart" sexually for the next 5 days. Sure the doctors say you can use a condom while having a breakout, but to me, that isn't fair regardless, what happens if it breaks? I don't want my new hubby to live with the pain and discust from this...SO I will refrain until I know its gone and I am safe again. I will live with this disease for the rest of my life, just as you have to, but I am in control of my life, and you have to be in control of your life..If you would like to talk to me, feel free to email me. I will help you in any way possible. I am happy and secure in my life, it has been a long and winding road, but I made it to where I am at and you can too. Thank You for taking the time to read my post.

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  • 1 month later...
jo Newbie

jo

Posted
Posted

Hi, Thank you so much for your letter! You have been through so much and listening to you, you are are very strong woman!!! That gives me hope! I just found out and I am going through a very tough time. I will need to get councelling. I posted my 1st letter under...Just Found Out..Shocked, sad and depressed. Maybe you can read and give me some insight. Congratulations on your marriage; I think that is wonderful! Best Wishes to you and your future!

Jo

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