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here I am with a question too


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I cheated , as wrong as it may have been I did it. Here I am now asking do i have herpes. the sex was unprotected (I had my first bisexual experience with another woman) Curiosity may have killed the cat literally :cry: Anyway I have a few blisters, or bumps(white pimple looking) however you would like to refer to them (3 to be exact) that comes in my vaginal area. One is always visible on my right "lip" and the other two are not always clearly visible but you can feel it and it's itchy there. Now this usually comes right before my period. It's been happening to me for some time now(months) other than the itchy, kinda tender feeling they don't bother me. I tried to pop the visible one but no go wouldn't pop just got bigger. I see most people say herpes scab over, gets crusty, painful urination..never happens to me just kinda blends back in with my skin, i could've gotten a different "strain of herpes"? or is there any other std I should consider, I got tested for chalymdia,gonorrhea and syphlis, but it came back fine, HIV negative so what else could it be? In a way i want an answer but in a way i don't bec. this is going to be something difficult to deal with but it's a reality. If anyone can help I'd appreciate it please don't be judgemental about my situation, I wasn't going to say my reason for doing it but I was in an abusive relationship. People have been so wonderful here so lets continue helping one another. Thanks.

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Hey there,

I'm sorry that your situation was abusive...That really sucks, and it's good that you got out of it. I would definitely go to the GYN and have those bumps looked at. If you're not comfortable telling your GYN that you had a bisexual experience you don't have to! I just told the nurse at my GYN's office for the first time that my method of "birth control" is that I'm gay, and I've been seeing the same doc every 6 months for like 2 years! It was mostly about me being comfortable with who I am, not about them making judgements about my life because I'm quite sure I'm not her first lesbian patient. So don't go beyond your comfort level, but DO do whatever you have to do to get yourself checked out. I finally decided to be honest because I'm finally totally comfortable with who I am, and see no reason to hide it. My "true love," L, however, who is bi, is not at all comfortable, and won't tell anybody. Our relationship was basically a total secret, which hurt.

I'm getting off-track: Get yourself checked. If it is HSV 1 or 2, there are meds that can help, and if it isn't, your mind will be at ease.

Take care,


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Now this usually comes right before my period.

You should definitely go to the doctor and try to get a culture when the bumps are there. Or you can get a blood test called the Western Blot but the anti-bodies to the virus won't show up until about four months after infection.

When I first contracted HSV-2 I had an outbreak with every period for about 4 months until I decided to take daily suppressive therapy.

Good Luck!!

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Not to worry you - but your experience (less the bi thing) sounds like my initial outbreaks. I get OBs almost always before my period... pms is a huge factor.

Go to the doc while the sores are there and have them swabbed. DO not try and pop them anymore - you'll make it worse. Tell the doc straight up you have been exposed to HSV and want to be tested. There is no need to get into who or why - not the docs bus - just say you were told.

Good luck - let us know...

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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