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I was recently diagnosed with HSV-2 about 2 weeks ago. I had a blood test. However, I am really confused. I just got a divorce after being in a relationship with the same man for almost 9 years. The results came back and showed that I was RECENTLY exposed to the virus. The nurse practitioner said I tested positive for old and new antibodies which means the exposure was within the last six months. The guy that I am seeing now tested negative for both types of HSV (he had a blood test and a culture done) but he does get cold sores on the mouth. So, how can he test negative for HSV-1? I have never seen my ex husband have any type of outbreak. Since the guy I am now seeing tested negative and my ex is the only other person I have been with within the last 9 years am I to assume he gave it to me? Could I have had it in my body for over 9 years and just now start making antibodies? The nurse practitioner says no that the exposure was within the last six months. I guess I am having a hard time believing that my ex cheated on me.

Now that I have it and the guy that I am seeing doesn't I really feel like I have no right to ask him to be with me. He has been really supportive and has told me that we just need to educate ourselves because he knows that people have sex with HSV-2. However, I feel that I would never forgive myself if I gave it to him. I am experiencing some of the same emotions as some of the other people that have posted. I feel really disgusting and dirty. I also don't see why anyone would want to be with someone like me and potentially expose themselves to this virus. I am really sad. The guy I am seeing has been really nice to me and very supportive. After leaving the abusive relationship I had with my ex I thought I had finally found something good and now this. I just don't know what I am going to do or how I am going to get through this.

I'm sorry for the long post but I need some help from people that really understand.

Thank you!

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The first thing that I would tell you is to brreeaathe, sweetie. Relax. You are NOT disgusting or dirty! I understand feeling that way, I have been there myself, but listen to me. Don't make any judgments or decisions right now while you are looking at the world through this cloud of negativity, which WILL subside. You're under the shock of just being diagnosed, and that's understandable. But it will not always be like this. You're feeling very "glass half empty" right now and that will get better.

You didn't ask for this virus, no one does. It is not your fault. And every one of those feelings that you are having, disgust, worry, unworthiness, these are all normal reactions. Give yourself some time and some support, this too shall pass.

I am very encouraged that you have a nice friend who is being so supportive. Can you imagine how much worse it would feel, if you were being rejected by him? The fact is, one out of four women around you have this. In the grocery store line, one out of four women. At your church, one out of four women. At your job, one out of four women. And one out of five men.

For most of us, herpes is an inconvenience we've had to learn to live with. It means, you get to be more aware of your body and be aware of when you might breakout. You may or may not have an outbreak a couple of times a year, you may have to abstain from sex for awhile. You or your partner may wish to insist on safe sex (and most should). You learn how to take care of yourself so that you don't have an outbreak. Everyone is slightly different, but I've had breakouts from eating too much salsa (vinegar)! Or not getting enough sleep. Too much sun. Weird stuff. And then, of course, I might breakout because I am ill with something else (bronchitis).

Anyway, right now, the questions are driving you crazy - where did it come from, and this is a very hard time. When I had my initial outbreak, so did my boyfriend. Well actually his was about 3 wks prior to mine. At least that is what he told me at the time, that he had never had it before. And I hadn't either, so we wondered... "who gave it to who?" (We were never really sure but being I saw a breakout on him before I contracted it, I think he gave it to me.) You may never have the answer you seek, and that part of this - sucks. But the main thing now is, read alot, get educated, talk to us, and don't reject that nice man in your life. That feeling of having a big red H on your chest does subside....

Take care, ((((HUGS))))


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  • 8 months later...
Guest Anonymous


I just read your post. I feel a little like you but confussed. My Dr. said I don't have herpes but I have the HSV anti bodies. I'm not sure what that means. Do you?

Also, I hope your relationship works out. My new partner is having a fit. I have had no type of out break but after having sex he had a small black sore on the head of his penis. I scared and confussed.

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If you have HSV antibodies in your blood tests, it means you HAVE BEEN EXPOSED to herpes virus at some time in your life. Your partner, with the black scab on the head of his penis, that is an active (scabbing, healing) herpes breakout. That is how I contracted it, I didn't know the little black scab on my bf's penis was herpes. He said it was because I got careless when I gave him head. :roll: (Oh, the ignorance)

Leon, I hope your partner is not trying to blame the breakout on you??

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