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Im totally freaked rite now on thursday I woke up and had a little clusted of blisters on the outside of vagina.. I got hysterical popped them (i know terrible thing to do) went to my gyn and had a battery of tests done. the doctor couldnt make any clear cut dx because the blisters were obviously gone due to my stupidity. but he ran a culture anyway from the area in which they were in now I sit here totally consumed and depresed at the prospect of herpes. To make it worse I have recently started seeing a new guy about 2 mo ago and we have slept together. We have been safe when having intercourse but have cuddled and other things which close genital contact is possible. He just called me from Oregon and I told him that I had a lot of tests done because I wanted to make sure that I was clean, I freaked him out a bit(didnt tell him about the blisters though) but I wanted to be as honest as possible as to what was going on so if I do get the dx of herpes he not like, well when did you get tested and why. Please any advise as to what I can do now while I wait for the results, and also how I can break the news to him if the test are possitive would be so greatly appreciated.

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re Please Help

OK, so you're being responsible, you got tested and you told your partner that you had some tests done. That's good for now...

Try not to panic while waiting for the results, easier said than done I know (I was in a similar situation recently and thought I would absolutely EXPIRE waiting for my former gf and best friend to get back to me so that I could tell her I had inadvertantly exposed her to HSV, fortunately she was wonderful.) The best thing you can do is take care of your body because stress is a total breeding ground for more outbreaks. Get plenty of rest, drink lots of WATER (caffeine eggs on OBs, as do all nuts and peanut butter) and start taking 1000 mg L-Lysine and some Echinacea tcapsules, you can get these at the drugstore.

If you have a friend, your mom, an aunt, etc. who you can confide in do that. Don't try to carry this burden around by yourself. IF there's no one you can talk to in person, continue to post your thoughts etc. here and people will respond!

If your HSV test comes back positive, you will have to talk to your man. Telling L. was the hardest thing I've ever done, then again I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't. Tell him you have something "important to both of us" or something similar, to talk to him about, and when in the very near future would be convienent for him? Tell him when you sit down to talk (and make sure it's not leading in the direction of intimacy-BAD news) that it's about the tests you had done...

If you cry, shake, stutter, etc. it's ok....Normal even. I just kind of blurted it all out in a ghusto, followed by "I understand if you hate me!" She looked at me oddly and said, "Are you crazy?"

You can probably take the conversation from there. Say what you're comfortable saying, but make sure he knows that he's got to get tested, and that even if he has NO SYMPTOMS he CAN pass it on to others through asymptomatic shedding.

Best wishes, lest us know how everything goes...we're here if you need anything!


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I'm wondering if it's possible, if you end up positive, that you got it from him?

You may tell him that if he was unaware, it is possible, but either way he should be tested so he knows. No need to be angry with him either had he not known....

good luck.

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Lasmom's right, I totally overlooked that...HSV can lie dormant for a long time-don't let him put it all on you until you know for sure (that is IF you ever know for sure!) who gave it to who...you may never have a clearcut answer and may have to decide if your relationship can endure that uncertainity.

Good luck my dear.

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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