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irresponsible

gumby007

By gumby007,
in Personal Experience with Herpes

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gumby007 Honeycomb Member

gumby007

Posted
Posted

Me again god im sorry for posting so much right now very angy at my partner, maybe soon to be ex he calledme from a clinic about 30 mins ago and said that he talked to a nurse and they told him if he was only worried that he contracted H from me not to get an atibody test done because it take roughly 3 mos to build up enough antibodies to get a possitive, but the reason im angry is because before I was with him I never had any sx of this and I think it's very irrisponsible of him to only think I gave it to him, this is not something any of us wanted but we have it and now he is putting other people at risk by not getting himself tested when he knows for a fact that we have been intimate and I tested possitive!! I mean you can't be to mad at aperson if they didnt know that they were infected but I think it's just so wrong to know that you have been exposed and choose not to make sure your ok for your self and any other potential people that you could infect. Hey got very upset with me when I told him this and basicly ended the conversation abruptly with soemthing like Ill call you... If he doesnt thats ok when I found out my test results today at about noon I was totally expexting that type of responce anyway, but I can't bear the thought of someone having to go thru what we all do because of someones inabliliy to be responsible :evil: , If anyone has any advise on what if anything I can say to him if I ever talk to him again that would be great

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Lasmom Acknowledged Support Member

Lasmom

Posted
Posted

Unfortuneately, the medical people are so nonchalant they give false securities to people - I'm sure he didn't say "I want to make sure I'm not a carrier...." Remember how shocked you were to find out. He is too... fear brings out the wrost in people. If you get to talk to him, just tell him you understand his fear and his assumption that only you have it.

But remember: he may be positive now if he is a carrier, but if he's negative, the nurse was right - he needs to wait to be retested. Send him our way for info if he nneds anything.

Good luck.

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christi Honeycomb Member

christi

Posted
Posted

Hang in there.

Hi my name is Christi. I'm just paying a flying visit to the site to catch up on the latest posts. Your story sounds eerily familiar! :shock: Take a moment to read my Cosmopolitan article that I transcribed and posted. It sounds like you are going through a very similar situation to the one I faced five years ago! It might help for you to have a read. I know the emotional agony you must be facing at the moment seems unbearable but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Stay strong, stay in touch,

Christi

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    • EssenceL25
      Help me !!

      By EssenceL25 · Posted

      I’m going to force him to get tested ! Thanks for your help ! 
    • WilsoInAus
      Help me !!

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      @EssenceL25 there really isn't a question mark around the source, it's your latest partner. The median time from infection to an outbreak of lesions upon initial infection is 4 days.  The only thing that isn't certain is the type I suggest.
    • EssenceL25
      Help me !!

      By EssenceL25 · Posted

      I asked if it was hsv 1 or 2 and the doctor said it was Hsv2. I’m not sure i just asked him when he was tested last he said this year I said I think we should go test together and he agreed . I’m going to bring it up again cause I really need to know if he gave this to me I wasn’t sure since it was so close to my previous relationship.
    • WilsoInAus
      Help me !!

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      @EssenceL25 then it is all beyond reasonable doubt that the current partner is the source. A 'perfect' fit in terms of timing, symptoms and swab. It may be though that the type is not technically known. Culture swabs are very often not typed and just assumed to be HSV-2 if taken from a genital location. If you received oral sex in the days leading into 7 March then it is 50/50 as to whether this is HSV-1 or HSV-2. You could contact your doctor and confirm if the swab was actually typed (which is a second test where fluorescent antibodies for HSV-1 and HSV-2 are added and see which one 'glows').  If that test wasn't done then you do not know type. If you have oral HSV-1 yourself (cold sores) then this will be HSV-2. Does your partner have oral HSV-1? It is somewhat strange for him not to rush and test - many people have a 'reaction' if they truly do not know their status and have concerns that you infected them etc. (not initially rational of course). This indicates he may know his status - or maybe he just isn't simply the sharpest tool in the shed!?
    • EssenceL25
      Help me !!

      By EssenceL25 · Posted

      I had flu like symptoms and ulcers on my vagina . They did a culture and I tested positive for hsv2. I asked my partner to get tested he agreed but I’m not sure if he will cause he hasn’t said anything else about it. 
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