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Lesbians with Herpes--Support


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My new girlfriend and I are zealously looking for information on the prevention of transmission. There's not a lot out there on the net about herpes as it relates to lesbians. We're hoping to find another couple or couples that can share their personal experiences with transmission prevention. Especially in asymptomatic and dormant HSV positives (carriers) and negatives in a gay relationship that is at least 6-12 months long. We'd like to hear more personal experiences than clinical suggestions. We're both terrified of being physical with each other and need some practical "we've been there" advice.

I've started a Lez support group with Yhoogroups and one at the Gay and Lesbian community center here locally in Charlotte, but there have been no bites as yet.

Thanks for any help you can provide me with.

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  • 1 year later...

lesbian support

trying to do the same in ny. only have seven members in my nylesbianswithherpes yahoo group. just starting group at lgbt community center in nyc.

will keep in touch with info.

how long have you been having meetings?

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  • 3 weeks later...



Very informative.

I suffer from cold sores and my partner had blood tests before we met and she is clean. I know my body quite well and would never put her at risk. Asymptomatic shedding I keep reading about scares the heck out of me.

too bad they didn't have all this information for us years ago. They say cuz your gay you don't have to worry about stds. Bogus. HPV is high among lesbians as well as HSV1/2

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    • EssenceL25
      I’m going to force him to get tested ! Thanks for your help ! 
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 there really isn't a question mark around the source, it's your latest partner. The median time from infection to an outbreak of lesions upon initial infection is 4 days.  The only thing that isn't certain is the type I suggest.
    • EssenceL25
      I asked if it was hsv 1 or 2 and the doctor said it was Hsv2. I’m not sure i just asked him when he was tested last he said this year I said I think we should go test together and he agreed . I’m going to bring it up again cause I really need to know if he gave this to me I wasn’t sure since it was so close to my previous relationship.
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 then it is all beyond reasonable doubt that the current partner is the source. A 'perfect' fit in terms of timing, symptoms and swab. It may be though that the type is not technically known. Culture swabs are very often not typed and just assumed to be HSV-2 if taken from a genital location. If you received oral sex in the days leading into 7 March then it is 50/50 as to whether this is HSV-1 or HSV-2. You could contact your doctor and confirm if the swab was actually typed (which is a second test where fluorescent antibodies for HSV-1 and HSV-2 are added and see which one 'glows').  If that test wasn't done then you do not know type. If you have oral HSV-1 yourself (cold sores) then this will be HSV-2. Does your partner have oral HSV-1? It is somewhat strange for him not to rush and test - many people have a 'reaction' if they truly do not know their status and have concerns that you infected them etc. (not initially rational of course). This indicates he may know his status - or maybe he just isn't simply the sharpest tool in the shed!?
    • EssenceL25
      I had flu like symptoms and ulcers on my vagina . They did a culture and I tested positive for hsv2. I asked my partner to get tested he agreed but I’m not sure if he will cause he hasn’t said anything else about it. 
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