very worried

[kcb]

I went to the gyno for my annual visit, and I pointed out 2 things to her: a slightly swollen lymph node near my groin and 2 pimples on my labia (one on the right and one on the right). She seemed really confident that it is herpes, so I got the blood test. But I'm still waiting for the results. I'm so scared and nervous, and I feel so ashamed and isolated and dirty and undesirable. I'm trying not to worry myself before I get the results back, but I feel like I should expect the worst while hoping for the best.

Does this sound like herpes symptoms to any of you? From what I've researched online, it doesn't sound like herpes to me.

[Josh]

Relax Baby - Either way it will be fine...

Hi - I have not had a blood test yet. I have not even gone to the doctor. I broke out in these welts last week on my hip and lower buttock. Bug bites to be sure; but I had a hunch they might not be and sweety - I have read everything out there. Chances are yes - it is. Your doctor has most likely seen hundreds - thousands of our brothers and sisters who are infected and knows what is looks like. But one thing is certain - the symptoms seem to range dramatically from one to another - in type, in severity, in duration. Some never knew they got it; others, like me, are in PAIN. These welts hurt Babe! Why do I think they are Herpes 2? They follow the stages - the symptoms are there. I have systematically eliminated everything else. There has to come a point for most of us where denial end and reality sinks in. I do totally understand your feelings of being dirty or undesireable. God knows it is hard enough out there and now we got to deal with this? Insane. But not impossible. Babe - if you do have herpes it simple means that the virus is now a part of your system. If you have ever gotten a cold sore then you already have Herpes 1 - so you were already half way there. From what I read - people who have herpes 1 heal quicker - get fewer outbreaks - the body already recognizes it and knows how to fight it better. Most people get a few outbreaks in their LIFETIME. Big deal. Each one, apparently, decreasing in severity and duration. They can be brought on by certain things - search the web and you will find lists of things to avoid or minimize - but mostly just stay healthy and don't give it a reason to wake up. I have female friends with herpes - one just got married and had a baby girl a few weeks ago. Baby Eva. Life goes on toots - and if we gotta deal with this then we will actively and responsible deal with it. No ifs, ands, or painful welts on my BUTT! Sorry - but babe, they hurt! So we might be included in a group of 45 MILLION other people. How could you feel isolated? If people were not so fearful of discussing this it would make it easier. The fact that we keep it so 'quiet' only adds to that shame we experience - but really - you have nothing to be ashamed of - this is not good or bad - it simply is. It may be our reality and we will deal with it. Also - I could be wrong, but I think a lot of the stuff out there is WORST case scenario. The pictures they use are their worst cases - or the worst of each class of symptom. Some propoganda out there too - preachy stuff - ignore it. We may have something that flared up, then will retreat into the spinal column forever. Like chickenpox. Would you be ashamed to have chickenpox? That's just silly. So you are not isolated - you now have me. That leaves just nervous and scared - and realizing that in the end, that it most likely means we will have a few outbreaks over the next umpteen years - well, I can think of many, many worse things....can't you?

Huge hugs poppet,

and love,

Josh

[britt]

Wow, what a sweet and smart guy. Why can't we have more like him.

[Lasmom]

He must have snuck out of man school before they taught non-emotional behavior 101...

Thanks Josh!