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someone1980

Can I give oral sex if I have genital herpes?

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Hi people,

I am a female who was infected by some jerk who has not told me the truth when asked if he was healthy.

I do not want to be that kind of jerk, so I will have to tell a new man in my life, which - miraculously - will probably stay with me after...

I want kids and family, but herpes induces limitations on sex life,which I am not sure my future partner will want to bear without having an affair.

So I'd like to know:

CAN I GIVE ORAL SEX TO MY PARTNER IF I HAVE GENITAL HERPES?

How long after the outbreak is cured it is not advisable to have any kind of sex?

Thank you.

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The word healthy is subjective. I have herpes but still consider myself healthy. Many people dont know they have herpes so dont jump to conclusions. If you really wanted to know if your partner had an std you would have had to ask them to get a complete std screening and then let you see the results.

If you have oral herpes you can always pass it on if you perform oral sex on your partner whether you have an outbreak or you dont.

If you only have genital herpes you cannot pass it on through oral sex.

I have genital herpes and it doesnt put a dent in my sex life. If I do have an outbreak it is mild and lasts maybe 3 days. I dont take suppressive meds either.

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Dear lifesstillgood,

thank you for your comforting answer!

I live outside US so probably people can be less open to those issues here.. But anyway, after you became aware about your infection - was it difficult for you to find a partner? (assuming, one must tell he/she is infected _before_ making sex, and at this stage people still have not developed close relationship - do many of them just run away? How is their reaction? I still haven't got the chance to check it and I am not looking forward to new relationship because of it...)

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    • VVK
      Is there a reason that you're still staying with him? Also how do you know it's HSV-1? Were you diagnosed through swab/blood test? And how were you tested when you got your HSV negative status prior to all of this? One of my ex-gf's used to get BV - I found a way to fix that by making sure that we were both showered/bathed prior to to having sex and her afterwards. However, if it's the semen that's causing your issues then just don't let him ejaculate inside of you. He should at least be sensitive enough to understand that BV is no fun and if he's the problem, he needs to deal with it.  
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      So they can't swab without sore ? Yeh he said he doesn't but he never has been tested his been to about 10-15 prositutes I dunno if that puts him at higher risk was with Condom
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