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so it happened to me


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i'm 15 i was recently diagnosed with genital herpes but i've had an idea that i had it when i was 14 and had my first outbreak. i wasn't really sure what it was, thought maybe it was razor burn and just passed it off as nothing even though i could barely walk beacuse of the pain. i had it passed on to me by my first boyfriend who i lost my virginity to. so since then i've slept with people without telling them about my disease because i didn't know i even had it.

you know how it is being 15, highschool, gotta worry about your rep., kids are cruel. i want to continue dating which usually leads to sexual activity but now i have to worry about passing on HSV. if i tell one person, i tell everyone. so i'm really not sure what to do. is it absolutely nessicary to tell someone if i'm esspecially careful and use protection?

i'm really confused on the whole subject. i dont have anyone to talk to about it, i'm scared to talk to my mom and i dont have many friends i can even talk to about it with considering i just moved into this city. so i figured i'd turn to the internet.

thanks so much.

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in your situation, it might be better to tell potential boyfriends whats up before you do anything. They might freak out about it, but would you rather someone found out by you telling them or by them contracting it and telling everyone they know you gave it to them? Either way, it does sorta kill the idea of casual flings. :?

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Honey - I totally understand the "rep" thing - I'm thinking the rep of "prude" may be better than "herpes" - just because the way kids are. I am 35 and when I was 17 knew a guy who liked my friend, and told her when she pushed to date him that he could, but they couldn't have sex - when she pressed on, he told her he had an incurable std - we thought he was going to die or something - it wasn't until recently I understood the deal. We were too young and naive to understand, and even though kids are having sex at younger ages - (14 - God...) the naivite is still there. The guy that infected you is probably going about doing it to other girls, so think about it - eventually everyone in your school - or circle will have it - think about how this one dates that one, and so on... my point - you may not be the only one - but do you want to be like him spreading this? Think about that. Get to know a guy really well before you engage in sex - tell them you want to wait for whatever reason - but abstain as long as you can and if you can trust the guy - if thats possible at your age for a teenage boy to be mature enough not to blab everywhere killing your reputation - really think about that.

I remember that guy - who refused to date my friend without her knowing the deal - we felt bad for him - but were amazed at his honesty and courage - and as 17 year old girls, we thought better of him. But still we didn't "understand".

My biggest advice - unless your mom is (forgive me for this) not the best mom - drinking, abuse, whatever - she will be the one to support you even if she gets mad at first. I have a daughter, and the thought of her going through that without me being there for her because she didn't trust me, is far worse than her telling me she had an STD. Moms have unconditional love sweatheart. If your mom loves you - she will be there for you like no other. There is no bond like a mother/daughter bond.

When I told my mom I had it - she was so cool about it - she's seen it all - in fact - my sister and I believe she has it too. Think of how many people in the world who have HSV - then think of your mothers age and number of family members and friends she has - the odds are - she's seen it before too.

God bless sweetheart - you will find your way - but do not engage in sex unless you have trust enough in a person to tell him the truth.

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What i would do is just date for now - tell your potential partners that you are not ready for anything below the waist yet - they dont have to know why and if they cannot respect that than they are not worth dating anyway! It is unfair to consider yourself being careful knowing you have hsv and putting another person at risk w/out first informing them of their risk, and careful doesnt always mean your protecting him. Kids are cruel and you dont want that to get out (even though its not AS bad as people make it out to be) If you find yourself in a trusting, commited relationship, give it time - and when you feel ready to tell your boyfriend about hsv then go from there - in the meantime buy an awesome vibrator, masturbate - relieve yourself - Just, when you say since then youve slept with people, hsv+ or not, you should be using protection, and i dont know if you were, but keep in mind there are worse things out there than hsv, like getting pregnant at 14-15 or HIV, so Please use protection, and really get to trust the person before below the waist stuff happens. Also, if you dont find enough feedback here there are many hotlines you can call, clinics you can go to, support groups, and I dont know your mom - but in some of those situations where shes the last one you want to tell, she may end up being the most supportive.

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in the meantime buy an awesome vibrator' date='[/quote']

Why didn't I think of that??? :lol:

Being pregnant at 31 ain't so hot either -

And if they do find out about your HSV - just say "yeah - I got it - so?" Never be ashamed of who you are - you will be surprised - they will have no fun raggin on you if you could care less what they think. Don't give them emotional ammunition and do not let them rent space in your head!

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Never be ashamed of who you are - you will be surprised - they will have no fun raggin on you if you could care less what they think. Don't give them emotional ammunition and do not let them rent space in your head!


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its good to have a family member or a friend close to you you can talk to. When I originally thought I got it I was terrified to mention it to anyone because I thought theyd look at me as a manwhore or diseased or something like that but everyone Ive told is suprisingly cool about it. I dunno, I dont personally know any other guys with it but I know quite a few girls with it and they all have normal relationships. It hasnt changed much for them at all.

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So, guys, a funny thing happened. In light of all of this, I am remembering the horror of grade school and Jr. High - the packs of self concious bitches that picked on me and cast me out of "the in crowd"... one "pack" in particular included a girl named Lisa - a real tough girl... whatever...

so, 20 years later, the man I've been seeing on/off is a bartender, one of the waitresses is guess who - Lisa.

He tells me the other day how she is always asking how I am, always saying how nice I am, and always telling him he'd better treat me right.

So, for argument sake - be true to yourself - don't worry about being "popular". In the end - it means nothing.

In fact I thank them. I owe alot to them - had they not forced me - I would not be the independant person I am.

So when it comes to all of this - HSV bs - maybe they helped me there too - what does not kill you makes you stronger - they did nothing but make me strong, HSV won't kill me either.

Take care all.


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    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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