Plz..opinions..Im Married with children

[Stupid and Scared]

Hi all, thank you all for your time. I am very concerned about a possible exposure and need some opinions. After 13 years of a commited relationship i was stupid enough to finally do somthing really dumb. I recieved oral sex from a stranger. The whole episode lasted about 30-40 seconds before the realization of what i was doing set in and i promply withdrew and put a stop to it. I went right home and scrubed my penis with paper towel and water (probably too hard) because i didnt have time to take a shower. That same night..probably 13-15 hours later the skin on my penis started too burn. It is now 12 days after the exposure and the skin still burns and im really freaking out. I have had no other symptoms so far (no fever, glands, or lesions) or anything that looks abnormal, just constant burning. If i ware very lose cloths it almost goes away, but then when i put on anything tight it comes right back. Im now scared to even kiss my children in case i cross exposed my lips accendently, and that alone is killing me and them. PLEASE someone respond...is this herpes??

PS.. I didnt notice any cold sores, but that seems to be irralevent with this shedding stuff...Thx anyone and everone.........God bless.

[skuby]

I had a similar thing happen. I was so ashamed of my unprotected sexual encounter that 2 nights later, I took a long and hot shower. I may have overwashed the foreskin area of the penis. The day after it got red and burning. This happened for 2 days before I applied some Vaseline. The Vaseline took care of the inflammation and redness within 2 days. That was what I thought. But, the nurse at the clinic said it could have been an STD infection (esp. it might be Herpes, yeast infection, Gonorrhea, or Chlamydia). I am going to get a checkup soon for my peace of mind.

Sometimes you may have infected (bacterial or fungal) your penis by scrubbing it too hard. You should still get checked to make sure.

[Stupid and Scared]

Thanks so much for the reply Skuby. I just tried last night somthing very similar to vaseline and it did help alot so far. Its only been applied for about 24 hours now so i cant say the pain is all gone yet, but it does seem to be helping. Hopefully it will fully "heal" if it truly is just a skin burn. Ive been trying too calm down a little, but im still pretty scared about this. Do you think after 14 days of nothing but just skin burning that this still sounds as though it could be herpes? Is this a common first OB if it is?..Again, nothing weird looking or temp or anything, just a real uneasy feeling. Or (sorry) does this sound comman of other stds?..No doubt i will get a full std screening sooner than later, but the blood test for some are still way off and im obviously very scared and concerned.

Thanks bro for your advice and insite, any more opinions would be very appreciated

God speed everyone

[skuby]

scared and stupid,

Please don't fret over it.

I am not an expert, but pay close attention to that area of the penis these next few days. If you happen to see even one red dot, go to the nearest clinic for them to see if it is possibly Herpes, a yeast infection, Gonorrhea or Chlamydia. They can examine the sore/blister right then and there with a culture test to see if it is one of those STDs.

I wish I had done so back then. I was naive enough to think it was just a skin burn and thought it had gone on its own.

If you examine it early, they can tell what it is and possibly give you antibiotics to prevent other symptoms from occuring. A lot of STDs can do slight or irritating damage to your nerves.

Don't feel bad. I'm in your same boat. And, PLEASE don't read up online about HIV symptoms. It is going to get to your mental and eventually physical health.

Stress can do many harm than anyone imagine. If you diagnose yourself with symptoms, then you will likely get them. The mind is a powerful weapon.

HIV is not as easily transmitted as many scared themselves into thinking. In America, only 40,000-50,000 people get infected per year. It is not as common as Herpes, Chlamydia and Gonorrhea is (thank God).

People getting HIV from oral sex is not as high risk as unprotected anal/vaginal intercourse.

What's done is done. Value life and what is around you. Don't get beaten. We all will fight this together and come out of it OK. HIV test at 3 months. 97% will seroconvert (know if they are positive or negative) by 3 months time. And, if you want for a definite peace of mind, do it again at 6 months. But, most are satisfied at 3 months if they test negative. Most likely if you are negative at 3 months, you will be negative again at 6 months.

If you are afraid of blood test, they now have the FDA-approved OraSure test where they put swabs of cotton into your gums and use that to test for HIV. It is just as accurate as the blood tests.

In the meantime, please stay away from even worrying about HIV 24/7. I had a major panic/anxiety attack last month. It may have done some damage to my nerves and I am only now slowly recovering bit by bit. It's not worth it to worry, bro. Give us the good news when the time comes. For now, just enjoy life and be safe.

[skuby]

I also want to say that the OraSure test can give you results in 20 minutes time right then and there at the clinic. With the standard blood tests, you have to wait 2 weeks. I know millions of people develop major anxiety attacks during that 2-week wait period. That's why many now opt for the OraSure after the 3 month or 6 month window period for HIV testing.

[Stupid and Scared]

Thanks again for your feedback. Went in to the docs today just too have things "looked" at. As i figured he found absolutly nothing out of the ordinary. I explaned my possible exposure (30-40 secs oral sex) and told him what had been going on with all the burning (which right now is finally gone at least for the moment) and he said that he has dealt with many genital herpes cases and with utmost certainty feels that this is not the case. I relize its only a opinion but i was certainly happy to hear it. At this point he didnt even think running normal STD screenings were called for with such brief exposure with only saliva. Dont get me wrong, he wasent taking the situation lightly but really felt strongly about his opinion. Obviously i will be keeping a very close eye on things but so far so good i guess. If anything changes or goes for the worse i will let you know.

PS. again bro, i really appreciate that you took the time too help me out here, it will not be forgotten and be rest assured everyone facing this stuff has one more person praying for them everynight

God Speed, and God bless

[skuby]

^bro,

If it was just oral sex and you don't experience strange flu-like symptoms within 2-6 weeks after the sexual encounter, don't even bother with HIV/AIDS testing. Spare yourself the emotional pain and agony. It is very very low risk IMO too.

[Palomita]

Hi

Never underestimate the power of a guilty conscience. What you are experiencing could be a physical manifestation of your emotional pain...sometimes it's easier to deal with that way. I know this first hand.

[Stupid and Scared]

Thats hopefully a possibility Palomita. The burning sensation is pretty much fully gone, but im still scared as hell it was a OB. There was still no other symptoms other than that, but that sure doesn't put my mind at ease. Im still a nervous wreak everyday, even though i try not to be. Im now like 17 or 18 days into this and just read about the IGg and IGm tests. I was considering getting the IGm test to see if it shows positive. I have never had a cold sore before so i think if it showed up positive i could prolly conclude that it is a new genital infection. (?) Would a IGm at this point still be semi-accurate?

PS. Also Skuby, at this point im not too concerned about HIV, (Dont get me wrong im not at total ease either) but i know the risk is very low for that through insertive oral sex. But im scared to death about it being herpes.

Thanks again everone..............Godspeed and God bless

[Stupid and Scared]

Well just in update. Its now 32 days into this nightmare and the feeling "downstairs" still is not completly gone. Its like for a few hours it is there, then for a few hours it is gone. Sometimes it feels like for a full day finally things have cleared up, then the next day its back again. It seems endless. I went in and had the IGm and IGG tests done. Im very sad to say that the IGm came back positive. Both IGgs came back negative. The doctor did not want to run the IGm in the first place because she said it can give false positive's and all it would do is make me worry more. ( it read 1.39. -apparently 1.10 or higher is a positive. I have no idea if thats a strong or weak positive (probably strong i guess). There has still been no clinical symptoms or flu or anything which again my doc thought was strange because i dont have any antibodies to HSV1 or 2 and in her career she has noted that people with no antibodies tend to have a pretty severe primary because theres no antibodies whatsoever to fight it at the beginning. She is still very strong in believing that in the absence of any symptoms whatsoever at a month, that it is indeed a false pos and more a manifest of my guilt and pure fear. She refuses to prescibe antivirals at this point so i sit and suffer. I feel i deserve this suffering for what i have done and I will never forgive myself. I have let my wife and loving kids down and theres a feeling of such hopelessnes now i am beside myself. I only know if i have to wait for another 2-3 months to be percribed anything that might help this discomfort i fear the worst in my mental stability and my power of reason. My life is slowly slipping away before my eyes and i dont know what to do. At this point I have no idea if it is mental or truly somthing phsical or both. Since the IGm is not considered diagnostic i can not be giving anything at this point. But I am very convinced that it is GH.

Im sorry people for the rambling but i have no where else to turn at this point. Im so stressed i could pop, and life beyond my only concern now of my family has no meaning to me.

God bless you all

[Lasmom]

S&S -

short on time so forgive my abruptness, but you may want to consider counseling - just for now to get through this - my thoughts are you had stuff you needed to process before all of this - maybe if you start processing ALL of it - you won't "pop". Think about it - go on your lunch hour - on an off day - who needs to know? Ask your doc to recommend someone somewhere.

sincerely,

LM