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Online Dating and H


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A couple months ago, I met an amazing woman on line. We email each other a lot and talk on the phone every night. It has been going so well, I decided to fly out to see her in two weeks. After some dicussion, I found out from her that she has genital herpes. She got from her former fiance, whom she had dated for three years. According to her , she has no outbreaks or lesions and the h has been dormat for over three years. She takes medication. Since I found out, I dicuss with a close friend and retired doctor about her and the situation. His advice is as follows the chance of me getting H are quite minimal if we use protection and she stays on her medication but he stressed there are some slight risk and not jump in anything. If we are going to make this realtionship work, we should not jump in anything or each other.

Here is my problem. Recently,I working trying to slow down this relationship. I try not to talk about sex focus on other things such as

Get to know her and little romance. She is have problems with new cool jets approach. She believes due to her problem and that do not think good of her is reason that do not want to have sex with right away.

what do I do? Is my doctor friend right about minimal risk?

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If I was you I would just explain to her that you want to get to know her better and not jump into anything. Because nothing is guaranteed to last forever and whatever decision you make the decision you do have to live with forever. She should understand. It's not like you're running away from her. Besides, what's so bad about getting to know a person better BEFORE having sex? That's the mistake we all make...we want to jump into things. If there's one thing this has taught me it's to be more careful and to take the time to get to know a person. I just wish it didn't take this for that to happen. Anyways, it's not fair for her to push you into anything. You're a nice enough guy to stick around and give it a chance. :) Good luck.

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You need to assure her that yes, you may be slowing things down - but it's for a good reason - I'm sure she doesn't want to expose you either, so if you talk about your reasons, and really let her know you want to focus on the relationship first - because of your feelings for her - thats got to be good... but - keep in mind that we are physical, sexual beings - find a way to fulfill her physical needs also - massage, touching, etc... sometimes a little goes a long way - and she doesn't want to feel rejected - and that's how I feel when the man I'm dating isn't physical - I can't help to think it's the HSV - even though he may be exausted, sick - nervous about something totally unrelated - keep that in mind...

good luck.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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