getting someone to test

[sleepy]

Im kinda confused about this whole deal. When I started getting sick, I talked to the girl I fooled around with and I was almost shocked by her attitude towards it all. She had said she hadnt got an HIV test in quite a while because she didnt like needles. Anyway, I basically had to repeatedly call this girl before she would even bother getting a test. When she did, she didnt call me right away to let me know everything was in the clear, I had to get ahold of her first. Anyway, I asked if she had had a herpes blood test and she seemed to have this "whats the point" attitude towards it. She claims shes never had coldsores or anything and followed it up with "and if I do have it, its just orally, so whats the big deal?" She then followed it up by saying we shouldnt fool around because she doesnt want to contract genital herpes......that I may have got from her.

bitch.

[ebear]

Well, for those who've been coming to the site since I've joined...you may know I was just recently diagnosed with GH. I'm becoming more frustrated as time goes by.

Here's the deal...I'm in a similar situation as you. My boyfriend seems like he doesn't want to get tested. He went to his doc who told him a blood test was POINTLESS. How is it pointless? My bf took that and just went w/ it. To me it seems like he's afraid because he doesn't want to hear bad news.

Man, if I listened to my doc the day I went in for a culture I too would have walked out thinking I DID NOT have GH. Because she said there was no way it was GH, but took a culture only because I FORCED her too. I never accept what the doc says...I want to see it w/ results. And even then I will keep pushing until I feel confident.

My boyfriend is the only one I've slept with in the last 6 months. I just had my first outbreak. I didn't cheat on him. None of this makes sense. I'm not trying to point fingers, but we were having unprotected sex for months. I hope he doesn't have it. But there's a good chance he did give it to me. And he's pretty much putting this ALL on me.

I hope he doesn't have it. And then it goes to me being afraid of giving it to him. UGH!

I guess I'm looking for advice. I think my boyfriend should be tested. And should continue getting tests. What do you guys think who've been going through this?

[ebear]

Note - we haven't had sex since I was diagnosed. Part of me thinks it's easier just to let go of him because I care for him too much to take the risk of giving this to him. If he doesn't have it.

[sleepy]

its entirely possible you contracted it from him and he just hasnt shown any signs. If this is the case then you wont have to deal with the element of possibly infecting him....but I know where you're coming from. I think I'll stay on my own for a bit after getting diagnosed regardless of if its positive or negative. Dealing with it with someone you care about in a relationship may make it easier though.

[Lasmom]

Tells you something about a person....

Do you people REALLY want to be with someone who is cavalier about their own health issues? Not to mention not caring about you enough to respect your concerns???

When I told my BF I was positive, and had exposed him - his response: "OK - I'll get tested, we'll go from there...." Healthy, mature attitude. He's got a crapload of other issues, but isn't that how someone you love SHOULD respond? And if you don't have a relationship - why do you care what they think? You told them - you did the right thing - move on.

[chaos]

isn't it amazing how much WE care about our own health and the well being of others and then there's the other people with h like the one's you are talking about who are so cavalier about it and seem not to care at all. I feel a social and moral responsibility to anyone I date or am intimate with, and even humanity in general because I have this medical condition (though be it a minor one) I can not carelessly go around infecting others so they can go on infecting others and so on. I would love to sleep with all the hotties I meet, but I can't. The dark side of fate has put an end to carefree sex for me, boo hoo but oh well this is just the way it is. It is those other people who do not tell or care, who are so irresponsible, that are infecting people like me. I will never think of myself as a whore or a slut because i'm not, but I can't say the same about "herpetrators". We should all give our selves some major props for even being on this web site, for educating ourselves, for careing about these issuse we discuss. At least we care.