Jump to content

getting someone to test


Recommended Posts

Im kinda confused about this whole deal. When I started getting sick, I talked to the girl I fooled around with and I was almost shocked by her attitude towards it all. She had said she hadnt got an HIV test in quite a while because she didnt like needles. Anyway, I basically had to repeatedly call this girl before she would even bother getting a test. When she did, she didnt call me right away to let me know everything was in the clear, I had to get ahold of her first. Anyway, I asked if she had had a herpes blood test and she seemed to have this "whats the point" attitude towards it. She claims shes never had coldsores or anything and followed it up with "and if I do have it, its just orally, so whats the big deal?" She then followed it up by saying we shouldnt fool around because she doesnt want to contract genital herpes......that I may have got from her.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, for those who've been coming to the site since I've joined...you may know I was just recently diagnosed with GH. I'm becoming more frustrated as time goes by.

Here's the deal...I'm in a similar situation as you. My boyfriend seems like he doesn't want to get tested. He went to his doc who told him a blood test was POINTLESS. How is it pointless? My bf took that and just went w/ it. To me it seems like he's afraid because he doesn't want to hear bad news.

Man, if I listened to my doc the day I went in for a culture I too would have walked out thinking I DID NOT have GH. Because she said there was no way it was GH, but took a culture only because I FORCED her too. I never accept what the doc says...I want to see it w/ results. And even then I will keep pushing until I feel confident.

My boyfriend is the only one I've slept with in the last 6 months. I just had my first outbreak. I didn't cheat on him. None of this makes sense. I'm not trying to point fingers, but we were having unprotected sex for months. I hope he doesn't have it. But there's a good chance he did give it to me. And he's pretty much putting this ALL on me.

I hope he doesn't have it. And then it goes to me being afraid of giving it to him. UGH!

I guess I'm looking for advice. I think my boyfriend should be tested. And should continue getting tests. What do you guys think who've been going through this?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Note - we haven't had sex since I was diagnosed. Part of me thinks it's easier just to let go of him because I care for him too much to take the risk of giving this to him. If he doesn't have it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

its entirely possible you contracted it from him and he just hasnt shown any signs. If this is the case then you wont have to deal with the element of possibly infecting him....but I know where you're coming from. I think I'll stay on my own for a bit after getting diagnosed regardless of if its positive or negative. Dealing with it with someone you care about in a relationship may make it easier though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tells you something about a person....

Do you people REALLY want to be with someone who is cavalier about their own health issues? Not to mention not caring about you enough to respect your concerns???

When I told my BF I was positive, and had exposed him - his response: "OK - I'll get tested, we'll go from there...." Healthy, mature attitude. He's got a crapload of other issues, but isn't that how someone you love SHOULD respond? And if you don't have a relationship - why do you care what they think? You told them - you did the right thing - move on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...

isn't it amazing how much WE care about our own health and the well being of others and then there's the other people with h like the one's you are talking about who are so cavalier about it and seem not to care at all. I feel a social and moral responsibility to anyone I date or am intimate with, and even humanity in general because I have this medical condition (though be it a minor one) I can not carelessly go around infecting others so they can go on infecting others and so on. I would love to sleep with all the hotties I meet, but I can't. The dark side of fate has put an end to carefree sex for me, boo hoo but oh well this is just the way it is. It is those other people who do not tell or care, who are so irresponsible, that are infecting people like me. I will never think of myself as a whore or a slut because i'm not, but I can't say the same about "herpetrators". We should all give our selves some major props for even being on this web site, for educating ourselves, for careing about these issuse we discuss. At least we care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.