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PunkPoet4Life

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PunkPoet4Life

I'm 14. My boyfriend of almost 6 months just told me that he has herpes. I know for a fact that I don't have it because we've never done anything that would allow that to happen, but I'm still scared for him. What does this mean? I know that he wasn't cheating on me or anything, because a.) he's a very guilty person and would probably tell me if he did and b.) he used to sleep around a lot before, so that's where he got it. I'm so thankful that we never actually did anything and that I don't have it, but I feel so bad for him. I mean, he's only 14. He shouldn't have to live with this for the rest of his life. I don't know. I just needed to tell someone I guess. I've only told my sister and I was bursting.

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ginnyp

Please be careful. If he's only 14 and has slept around a lot, you have no idea what else he could have. Remember that you can catch it orally if you were to give him oral sex, so please do a lot of research and wait on sex. (14 is too young anyway but I'm not here to preach). I started having sex when I was 15 and if I could go back and change that I would. It's not til you get older that you realize how much you don't know when you're that young. Has your bf been tested for everything? He should get the whole std panel.

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Morning
I know for a fact that I don't have it because we've never done anything that would allow that to happen, but I'm still scared for him.

First, I'm glad you found this site for support, a place to talk, and get a lot of information. It shows caring on your part that you are concerned about your boyfriend. Please show the same concern for yourself. If you can, you should get tested because many people have herpes and don't know because they have never had symptoms. It is important to know so that you can take precautions and reduce the chances of passing it on. You can have it without symptoms. Do you know whether he has oral or genital herpes? If oral, you can get it from kissing him even when he doesn't have a cold sore. There is a small chance of this happening but it can and does happen. Take care of yourself.

Morning

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gotitsowhat

Could be better, could be worse...

Having herpes is a problem. You sometimes get painful outbreaks. And you have to disclose it to any potential sex partners which can be awkward and embarrassing. So he is stuck with a difficult situation.

On the other hand, it could be much worse. Herpes is an annoying, minor viral condition. It is not fatal. Maybe someday there might be a vaccine for it. Meanwhile, he's got it.

And you must be careful not to get it. I know that people your age frequently think that having oral sex is not "real" sex; you CAN get herpes through oral sex. I hope you will refrain from any risky behavior with him. At your age it is usually better to just have friends or relationships that are romantic and fun but not directly, intensively sexual.

Herpes is not the end of the world. Lots of people live with it. But it is not something any of us here would have chosen to have if we could have had any way of avoiding it. Take care.

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metropolitan

I'm writing to offer my empathy for your friend, sympathy for you, but also a little bit of contempt at the ageism here. 14 is old enough to make up your mind about your body and your future. Do what is right, both in your head and your heart.

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sweetheart87

i feel soo bad for you and your bf...he is so young and shouldn't have to deal with herpes at such a young age. I am glad that you found this site and feel comfotable to tell your story. If you guys are planning on having sex make sure you use protection...that is the main thing that you would want to do. You also need to start reading up on somethings about herpes...cause if you do have sex with him there is a possible chance that you may get it to. But being the age of 14 i would hope that you would hold off on having sex...I'm not here to preach to you or anything, but being 14 is young, I started having sex when i was 16 and if I could take it back i would have waited. I would also suggest you ask your bf if he has had a full std panel done because if he has been sleeping around already at the age of 14 you don't know what else he could have.

Please be careful and good luck with everything

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Sophie D.

Be careful.

Even if you guys do use a condom you could still get herpes. Condoms do not offer 100% protection.

Of course most people think 14 is too young to have sex, but to have already had a lot of partners? Whoa. Make sure he is tested for STD's he if you guys decide to have sex, he could have more. And hopefully you will commit to being faithful to each other if you do.

Remember, you may have all those warm feelings about him now, but herpes is forever.

Be careful out there.

1 in 4 people have some kind of STD.

Most clinics DO NOT test for herpes even if you ask to be tested for "all STDs."

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