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smile89

trying to cope

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smile89

well i was just diagnosed 1 week ago with HSV 1 and 2 during my first outbreak i had no idea what was going on until i was in so much pain i had to go to the emergency room. i never knew anything could be so painfull i ended up having to stay in the hospital for four days. im just confused and scared i feel as if my life is now ruined im only 19 what am i gonna do now if i want to start a relationship with someone? i just dont know what to think at this point. im still getting throught my outbreak and am trying to hang in there. i just feel like its never gonna get any better. im trying to think of the positives and smile but in the back of my head i feel embaressed and ashamed of myself for having this. i never thought this could happen to me. if anyone has any words of wisdom to pass on i would greatly appreciate any help at this low point. thanks for listening.

blair

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trying85

i dont know about anyone else, i know i feel ashamed and horrible for having it. i feel my body isnt mine anymore. i can relate, it is hard, especially when you have an active outbreak. for me it gets better, then i get down in a hole again.

chin up, i feel your pain, im only 23 too, itsso hard

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Morning

It is so hard in the beginning when you're first diagnosed. As painful as the first outbreak is, the emotional strain of having HSV is even worse. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I can still remember what it was like when I was first diagnosed 5 years ago. But as times goes on perspective will set in and you'll realize that 1) It is manageable and eventually becomes less of a focal point in your life 2) Many people have HSV 3) HSV doesn't change the core person that you are 4) You will still have a great love life in spite of HSV. As you read stories on this site, you'll hear about a lot of different experiences. But hopefully the stories will let you know you are not alone and life can be good regardless of the issues/problems we have. So hang in there, it will get better.

Morning

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CAP86

I felt so sad & depressed when I had my first major outbreak. I'm just not getting over it. I went through hell for a week. I felt ill & was in pain for a long time. I could barely walk or take care of my 3 month old.

My self-esteem went so low. I wouldn't let my BF kiss me or hug me. I felt so ugly and filthy. I didn't straighten my hair or makeup. I stayed in pajamas & didn't leave the house but to go to the doc & to the pharmacy.

I've been taking Valtrex & Lortabs for the past few days. I feel worlds better, though I too thought it would never get better. My folds were swollen several times their size. It looked so sick. I had lots of oozing. I felt like a freak. I didn't feel like myself. I felt like there was a dark cloud over my head. I can't tell you how many times I said I wanted to die or kill myself. I hated myself. And my BF felt so bad that he was the one who'd given to me. He was really sad for me too b/c he'd never had a bad outbreak like I had. It was never that bad for him. All he'd ever get was a few itchy bumps...and only when he is extremely stressed out. Other than that...nada. And no matter how much he told me he loves me or tried to make me feel better, I was still really down.

Now that I am feeling more like myself, it's not such a big deal to me. I still feel ashamed. He is the only one who knows my dirty little secret, but I'm glad I have someone to talk to about it. I'm glad he understands & took such good care of me and our son while I was "sick."

I'm now focusing on taking better care of myself. I'm taking more vitamins and herbs. My goal is to prevent myself from having outbreaks in the future.

It really does get better.

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