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OopsNowWhat

Herpes every single day of my life.

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OopsNowWhat

Since being infected (9 months) there has not been a SINGLE day that I have not thought about my herpes.

Just wondering how many people can say the same and how long it has been since you found out about your little gift that keeps on givin.

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Sincere25

Dont worry u r not alone, ever since I found out in June of 08, I think about it everyday, almost all the time.

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speaktru

haha.... ur not alone.. i think about my H probably 70% of the day........ its kinda hard NOT to think about it.... b/c you have to adjust your life to accommodate this invader that in living in your body. also b/c my H is attached to other emotional feelings.. its just a vicious bitter circle. and i havent gotten the closure or answers that i want so my mind just keep on going....

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memyselfI

His time not mine

SORRY!!! Waiting for anything, except maybe a suprise from someone you love not std related, SUCKS!

It did take about a year before it wasn't a daily thought. At times, when I busy participating in life and just overall happy about stuff I can go days and days without thinking about it. Thats why I stopped posting here for sometime. And then when the thoughts do come, or physical reminders surface, its just not as BIG of a deal as it was...

Now I'm honestly thinking about it more cause a friend (w/herpes) had the talk with a guy (some @ss that broke her perfect little heart <temporarily>), because I almost had a date fwith someone from a herpes dating site and because I'm sick of being single!!!

The good news is IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER, emotionally, physically and spiritually!!

Much love,

meme:D

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gotitsowhat

My theory

When you are young, you have had less time to live and experience things so when something happens, good or bad, you tend to dwell on it. When we are older, we have had a whole lot of stuff happen in our lives so we tend to put herpes in perspective more easily, I think.

However, for all of us, old or young, the first few months, maybe the first year, is very tough. The shock of adjusting to a permanent disease, a socially stigmatized disease, all of that is very difficult. And, for some of us (like myself), the herpes diagnosis was combined with a serious personal betrayal, the shock of someone we love cheating on us or not revealing the herpes because of not wanting to admit cheating. My guy did all of this stuff and then died (of lung cancer) so I had to come to terms with his cheating, his not revealing the herpes, his dying and then my diagnosis. It put me in a tailspin.

But...that was then, and this is NOW. I no longer think about having herpes most of the time or even a lot of the time. When I started posting on this board, I had already reached that point and posting here put my attention back on the herpes but in a good way. Being here reminds me that I am not alone with this. And that it could be worse.

I don't think about it as much anymore and when I do, I don't feel miserable, hopeless, stressed or afraid. It's just a virus, not a badge of shame or evidence that I am a bad person. It's just a minor irritating annoying little virus. It doesn't rule my life. It never did. Now I know that.

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Groovy

Sad that this is the case

I just think it's weird that Herpes is such a big deal. I'm definitely not putting anyone down. I'm just sorry that society has brainwashed everyone to this unfortunate state of mind.

Eliminate the mental aspect (the stigma we've been conditioned to have), and this is really no more bothersome than acne or cracked heals. Ironically, HSV-1 is completely accepted while in fact those breakouts occur right on your face, in the way of your mouth, of kissing, of eating. HSV-2 happens where the public can't see it, and other than not having sex for a short period it's not much of a burden is it really? Yet, society has made us all think we should feel really bad about this? No way!

Did you feel this way when you got your first pimple, when you got poison ivy, dry skin? HSV-2 It just a skin irritation that in many people completely disappears and in others can be controlled by popping a pill.

The other great irony: 25% (probably more) of society has it!! With anything else, such as hair color, nose size etc, if 25% of a society shares it, it is considered a common trait.

Get over the brainwashing that has been done to you, and see this for what it is, as I have and you will be happier every day.

The only time you should even think of this is when you've found a potential partner. Just tell them about it once you've achieved some chemistry and it will serve as a good test of the strength of that bond.

One of my best friends just got married to a girl who has HSV-2. He was always beyond STD safe, he was phobic -afraid to have sex for years because of fear of aids (even with condoms). Yet, he found his true love and her HSV doesn't matter to him.

For your own good, take heart. The virus itself is no big deal and the people who really love you will accept you.

If you think about herpes, spend that energy understanding that it's not such a big deal. Then stop thinking about it, and start thinking about things that matter!

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buttercup3721
I just think it's weird that Herpes is such a big deal. I'm definitely not putting anyone down. I'm just sorry that society has brainwashed everyone to this unfortunate state of mind.

Eliminate the mental aspect (the stigma we've been conditioned to have), and this is really no more bothersome than acne or cracked heals. Ironically, HSV-1 is completely accepted while in fact those breakouts occur right on your face, in the way of your mouth, of kissing, of eating. HSV-2 happens where the public can't see it, and other than not having sex for a short period it's not much of a burden is it really? Yet, society has made us all think we should feel really bad about this? No way!

Did you feel this way when you got your first pimple, when you got poison ivy, dry skin? HSV-2 It just a skin irritation that in many people completely disappears and in others can be controlled by popping a pill.

The other great irony: 25% (probably more) of society has it!! With anything else, such as hair color, nose size etc, if 25% of a society shares it, it is considered a common trait.

Get over the brainwashing that has been done to you, and see this for what it is, as I have and you will be happier every day.

The only time you should even think of this is when you've found a potential partner. Just tell them about it once you've achieved some chemistry and it will serve as a good test of the strength of that bond.

One of my best friends just got married to a girl who has HSV-2. He was always beyond STD safe, he was phobic -afraid to have sex for years because of fear of aids (even with condoms). Yet, he found his true love and her HSV doesn't matter to him.

For your own good, take heart. The virus itself is no big deal and the people who really love you will accept you.

If you think about herpes, spend that energy understanding that it's not such a big deal. Then stop thinking about it, and start thinking about things that matter!

I’m sorry, but I can’t give my hair color or a zit to someone else. This however, I can. They are not the same. I’ve read so many people on this board say that it is no big deal because so many people have it…I DON’T WANT TO PASS THIS TO SOMEONE ELSE!!! It isn’t like everything that everyone seems to want to compare it to; none of those things are contagious… THIS IS. And for me it isn’t a minor skin irritation. I have regular outbreaks, even on meds. And they hurt like a bitch. I’m thrilled for all those people that don’t have bad outbreaks, or don’t have any at all. But not everyone with this falls in that boat.

I’ve had it for about 7 years, but known for right over 3. When I had my first outbreak my doctor lied to me about what was going on and told me I was fine. 4 years later when I had my second outbreak the doctor in the ER (yes the ER – because for some people the outbreaks are just that bad and it isn’t a minor skin irritation like a stupid zit) explained to me what was going on and what I had. I still think about it most days. It isn’t a constant every minuet of the day kind of thing, and it isn’t every day anymore. But it is still most days. I don’t sleep well, so when I’m tired I think about it because I know I need to get better sleep to keep my body healthy. I try to make sure I drink lots of water every day, again to keep healthy. I work a lot and am going to school so I’m under a lot of stress…so when I get stressed I have to remind myself to chill a bit. I also keep it in mind because I have a boyfriend and he doesn’t have this and I don’t want him to get it. So every time we are intimate it is on my mind. I can go a good 2 or 3 days without thinking about it, but that is just about it. I don’t think about it in a dreaded way anymore like I did, most of the time anyway. I have my down moments. I have to block out the thoughts in my head of my boyfriend being eaten alive by little bugs when I am trying to enjoy getting it on…and that can be hard (I have no idea why I see that – it was a nightmare I had right after I found out and I can’t shake it some of the times). When we fight I remember the guy that said an STD was a deal breaker and I wonder if I could ever date anyone else again. Or if I should just remember that fights happen and my guy loves me and is okay with the STD thing. We use protection, and I try my best to take my meds every day – I’m not going to lie, some times I forget. But that is the thing. It is hard not to think about it every day when you have to take a pill every day…. But again, I don’t think about it in dread unless I think about ever having to date again…so I’m trying to avoid that, lol.

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Groovy

Sorry, Buttercup, I don't want to diminish what you are going through. I know from experience that every outbreak is a reminder that you have it. You can make two steps forward in accepting it and the outbreak pulls you back one step.

One thing I also know about H is that it brings along a heavy mental aspect. The physical aspect is out of my control, but the mental aspect is an area where I can fight and beat H.

You seem like a really nice person and I'm glad that even with your difficult outbreaks you have someone that loves you.

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bluefrog

I think the reason it is "easier" dealing with herpes on the lips, face, is because so many people don't even know that it is herpes. Sad but true. And if people had a choice, do you think they would rather have it orally or genitally? Either way it SUCKS.

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bennismama

My first OB was really bad, and I thought about it A LOT during that. Even now i still have dfificulty accepting how I received it. But it's a fact I cannot change no matter the worry I put into it.

I found out 2 months ago that I had it, so I'm still in the window of it being new, contagious and actually very frequent. I got on meds here recently which help.

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buttercup3721
Sorry, Buttercup, I don't want to diminish what you are going through. I know from experience that every outbreak is a reminder that you have it. You can make two steps forward in accepting it and the outbreak pulls you back one step.

One thing I also know about H is that it brings along a heavy mental aspect. The physical aspect is out of my control, but the mental aspect is an area where I can fight and beat H.

You seem like a really nice person and I'm glad that even with your difficult outbreaks you have someone that loves you.

me too, thanks ;)

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Nemonamedjoe

Yeah i got mis diagnosed twice with them saying i had shingles and didnt think twice and was continuing having unprotected sex with her until the third time they said o well its herpes so it really affected me feeling that i had possibly spread it to somone else every time i go to the bathroom it pops in my head that area now to me is like a biohazard zone im a freak about it

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