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bluzcluz

I'm so scared for my kids. Please help.

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bluzcluz

So here it is in a nutshell.

13 years ago I noticed a sore on the penis of my partner.

He told me it was nothing and not to worry about it, but I discontinued having sexual relations with him at that time.

A couple weeks later, I was very ill for several days with flu like symptoms and pain and what appeared to be a largish cut or tear near my vagina.

I went to the doctor, terrified, and they swabbed but the culture came back negative.

I have over the past 13 years had what I believe are a couple of outbreaks, but only a handful and they have resolved quickly.

I have had a small number of successive partners over the years, all of whom I told of this and none of whom have subsequently shown any symptoms of herpes or had a primary outbreak.

Fast forward to present.

I have 2 kids, aged 15 and 3.

About 5 days ago I had an aching feeling around my vagina but I thought that maybe I was getting a yeast infection.

Then I developed what I thought was a cut in that same area of my labia.

It took me a little over a day to put 2 + 2 together and get that this was an outbreak. It has been years since I had one, and I really kind of forgot all about it, and since I had been told I had a negative result, it wasn't ever clear to me that I for sure had HSV.

Anyway, as soon as I realized this, I got really, really vigilant about sanitation but before that... Well, we're just a really laid back, hippie kind of family. My son who is 3 runs around naked almost all the time we're at home, and I often walk around in just a long t-shirt.

He takes baths with me, and he took at least one or 2 baths with me prior to and at the beginning of this outbreak.

He might have occasionally come into contact with this area, perhaps when sitting with me in the bath tub or even briefly under some other circumstances though I can't think of when that might happen, it's just not out of the realm of possibility.

So I have just been getting really paranoid that I have exposed or infected my children because I was not being careful about it before and at the beginning of this outbreak. Did I wash my hands thoroughly every time I should have? I don't know. Was I careful, as someone infected with a hugely communicable, incurable virus would be? No. I was not.

Lo and behold, my son turned up with a fever yesterday so now I am REALLY freaking out. He got pretty hot, actually, and is still a little warm.

I haven't seen anything that might look like a sore on him.

He has a tiny pink nick that looks like an eensy little scratch at the very top of one buttock where it meets his back, but I am certain it is not a symptom of herpes. What is scaring me about it is that it might have provided an entrance for the virus into his body.

And then, my daughter, 15, whom I never see naked, I actually got a glimpse of her as she was getting into the shower today, and there is a large pimple on her buttock, nearer to the inside. It doesn't look like a flat blister, it looks like a big, red pimple with a white head. I mean, it really looks like a pimple, and I am pretty sure it is. I asked her if it hurt and she said she wasn't even aware of it. Still, it's adding to my fear.

You don't have to tell me to be more careful, believe me - I am so careful now it's borderline obsessive.

What I would like for you to tell me is that I probably haven't infected my children. I don't know if I could live with that.

And what should I be looking for or doing for my son right now?

Would it be obvious to me that he were having a primary outbreak or being infected right now?

I'm really terrified.

Thank you for reading. I know this was long. I'm just really, really scared, to the point that I almost can't function.

Help, please. :cry:

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bluzcluz

It's not obvious to me how to edit, so I will just add here.

My son sleeps with me, too, if that matters. I don't know if that increases the chances of accidentally infecting him or not. Often he will sleep naked just like he likes to run around all day and I will wear a long tshirt just like I do a lot of the time during the day.

Also, since, assuming I am infected as it seems pretty clear I am, wouldn't he have been exposed to the antibodies in utero and during extended nursing well into toddlerhood? Would that help protect him?

Thanks for your time and for any information you can give me, particularly if it can help set my mind at ease.

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ginnyp

Pregnancy and birth does not mean you would have passed the virus onto him. If he had gotten it then, you would already know.

As for the baths and sleeping at night, naked, or with just a long t-shirt, the possibility is low but as a precaution I would ask your doctor to run blood tests on you and your son. Your daughter too if it will make you feel better. It is most likely that they are fine, but personally I have OCD and I would have the tests done for my own personal sanity. :)

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bluzcluz

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I was actually not worried about giving him the virus via breastfeeding or in utero, I was hoping I might have passed some permanent immunity on to him that might have protected him if he were accidentally exposed but after doing some reading I see that that's not the case, unfortunately.

He still has a fever but he doesn't seem to feel bad and he is getting a little bit of a cough which normally I would bummed about but right now it makes me feel a little bit better, because it leads me to believe that he's not been infected with herpes but rather with some passing kiddie cold he picked up in his classes or play groups.

I know I was worrying that my kids had been infected, a question that no one can possibly answer definitively (other than a doctor), but I was in a really bad place yesterday and I just needed to reach out. Hopefully today will be better, the kids are healthy and well (please, God), and I learned a lesson about being more vigilant.

If anyone has any other words of encouragement or reassurance, though, I'd greatly appreciate hearing them.

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catiesmom

It's so hard to think you might have done ANYTHING to hurt your kids, even inadvertently. I spent lots of nights crying about some pimple my daughter had.

I would think it would be difficult to pass this to your son through a bathtub, although unfortunately he didn't get any immunity from you (wouldn't that be nice!!). The good news is, if you did infect him at his age, by the time he's old enough to care about it, it should be well suppressed. In the mean time, if it's really bothering you, you can have him tested in 3 months. Good luck!

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bluzcluz

Thanks so much, catiesmom.

You know, herpes is not something I have ever talked about with anyone, beyond informing potential partners, and it is a great relief to do so here.

The shame and stigma attached to this disease are just unreal, which makes no sense. It's just a virus! It's no one's fault. But the emotional pain, worry and fear it causes, largely due to the social stigma, are almost unbearable. It feels really good to be able to address those crushing fears here.

Thanks.

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bluzcluz

My son's fever has gotten worse all day and now he's just awoken and vomited.

He has the precise symptoms of the flu except for the fact that he was perky and seemed to feel fine all day except for being warm and having a little cough.

I am worried, so worried.

Please don't let me have infected him. Please. :cry:

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catiesmom

I have never heard anyone say the flu-like symptoms they get with HSV cause vomitting. Someone please correct me if i'm wrong.

If you think about it, vomitting couldn't be the sign of an infection like this. The reason we get flu-like symptoms (usually just fever, lethargy, and stiffness or achiness in muscles/joints) is because this is an INFECTION. Things like vomitting illnesses are usually viruses that affect those parts of the body. The initial fever we get is because the virus is attacking our nervous system (or our nervous system is trying to attack the virus), and in no way should that include the stomach or the lungs for a cough.

Honestly, it sounds to me like your little guy has a cold or flu!

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tothefuture

Why don't you get a blood test and find out once and for all - I mean for yourself.

I'm not a lover of self-diagnosis.

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