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returntosender

My failed experiment

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returntosender

I've always had this crippling depression, so I never wanted to make it with anyone because I'm so fragile. It's been five years since I had sex, actually, and that was fine with me because controlling the depression was more important that anything.

Anyway, I was thinking it was time to find a girl so I could feel like a normal person again... at least that what's my Mom suggested, and I agreed. I found a nice girl and we got intimate and I used protection. A couple weeks later now and I have the Herpes and no girl.

I'm coming to terms with the anger because I know it will eat me alive. The less angry I get, the more funny the whole situation becomes. I've been to much darker places so I know I will be fine, I just thought I would share my story.

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gotitsowhat

Have you seen a doctor?

You did not mention if you had seen a doctor and been diagnosed. If the person who gave this to you did not know, anger would not be appropriate but if the person did know, I think a certain amount of anger would be. Anger doesn't have to eat you alive if you acknowledge it, deal with it in some constructive way and move on.

I have dealt with a certain amount of depression in my life and am a fairly sensitive person. I have found that taking 1000 mg a day of St. John's Wort made a huge difference in my life. Also, going swimming regularly helps me deal with depressed feelings.

Hope you feel better soon.

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returntosender

She suspected Herpes enough to get tested for it, but had sex with me initially while waiting for her culture to come back. By the time her culture came back positive I had already contracted it. I'm not angry at her, but I don't think I could forgive her.

And you're right though, about the anger -- specifically a "constructive" outlet. That which doesn't kill you, I suppose. Thanks for the support.

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gotitsowhat

Grrr...

Now I'M mad at her! I think she was irresponsible to have sex when she suspected she might have something contagious. However, what can you do, now???

You will feel better about this with time. Most of us had to make some adjustments in our ways of relating to people. Basically, it could be worse. And when you're really feeling down about it, remember that the vaccine is only a few years away. When the vaccine comes out, anyone will be able to prevent catching herpes so the stigma will gradually fade away. And there are some very effective new meds coming out soon, too. One med that is being experimented with now could possibly keep all future outbreaks from happening thus making the herpes person less likely to pass it on.

I am old enough to remember when every neighborhood had at least one kid who died of or was crippled by polio. Now many young people do not even know what polio is!

When I was young, I hated wearing glasses but was told there was no cure for nearsightedness. I had the lasik procedure many years ago and glasses are now in my distant past.

Lots of things change over the years. I sure never imagined I would ever communicate with anyone the way I am now communicating with you on the Internet. My age has given me perspective.

One of these days, herpes will be much less troubling than it is now. If you are young, you will live to see it. In fact, the vaccine and the new meds are so close that even I expect to live to see it. I hope I will still be young enough to date then. Improvements are on the way.

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returntosender

I know right! I can't be mad though, because I know she feels bad about it. She's going through all this herself. Still it's disappointing to say the least. She even asked her doctor about abstaining, and her doctor said it was probably bacterial and not to worry about it! Perhaps there was simply an intelligence vacuum in the room that day. :confused:

I'm still in my 20's so yea, I have a lot of life to live. Maybe when I'm older they'll have a vaccine, until then I get to re-live the awkwardness of my teenage years. Either that or join HSV-2 positive dating service, LOL.

I had no idea you could get HSV-2 so easily even when using a condom. My buddies all hook up with a random girls every month and, well - my situation is just funny to me, at least now. Tomorrow maybe not so much, who knows. I imagine most people think, when you tell them you are positive, that you had a lot of unprotected sex. That's what I thought, and I think wouldn't have stayed with a girl after she told me she was positive and I hate that. Having said that, I suppose (pardon the directness) that a penis isn't the only thing I have to give.

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