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RckClmbr

Scared out of my mind.

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RckClmbr

Hey Everyone,

Tomorrow I could find out if I do have Herpes or not. If I don't find out tomorrow I'll have to wait until tuesday. The wait is straight up agonizing.

I'm a 27 year old male... in fact today is my 27th birthday... as you all may guess, I am not in the mood to party at all. 6 months ago I noticed a strange series of small blisters between my scrotum and right thigh. I shugged it off after a doctor said that it was an ingrown hair. Great, enough said. 5 months later it came back, exactly the same. I went to a doctor he said it was a yeast infection (didn't know that guys could get a yeast infection but great, enough said; I have a yeast infection now I'm gonna fix it.) A week ago the same blister series came back after a slight reduction of the "yeast infection" site. I went to another Doctor - this one diagnosed it as tytpe 2 herpes; hetook the skin culture, blood test etc. Now I wait.

I'm also in love... crazy in love. I've been dating a GREAT girl for just under a year now... she is for all intents and purposes perfect. She has so many of the traits that I have been looking for in a "mate". I don't want to break up. I really don't want to break up. If I do have herpes... which I'm 90% sure that I do... how do I tell her. I know that I'll tell her nearly immediatly after I have been confirmed as positve. I even know what I'll say: "baby, I was just tested positve for type 2 gentital herpes. Go to the Doctor and get checked out." ... Then what? WHAT THEN!? I'll have some literature on hand to talk to her about it... but how do I talk to her about it?

BTW - I have not cheated on her, and I don't think that she cheated on me.

Next point - how do I even look at myself? I see myself as betrayed by my body. I've never been promiscuous, I don't understand how this happened. I am paranoid now to even wash myself!!!! Will I transmit this all over my body??? What is hell is going on here????

I've been researching this for the past couple days and reading your stories and blogs. I really admire you all for your mutual support of eachother, help, and good ,honest comments. You are all in my prayers.

sincerely,

a very scared guy....

(who didn't think he scared too easy... until right now... ..now I'm terrified...)

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SkiMan

You are in a lot better shape than many of us as you have already found great love. It will be easier with her at your side (and vice versa) and H should be no more than a minor inconvenience for the two of you. The bottom line is that you didn't know you had it. If she is as into you as you are into her, she probably won't get to riled. I am thinking that IF she has had no signs of it, she may never have signs or symptoms. She may one day curse you if she has problems with it...but she will probably curse you anyway some day for leaving the toilet seat up :-P

In short, if you two have a great relationship...this H thing should just be a small inconvenience.

Good luck... I hope you come up negative. If you don't...keep your chin up. Be supportive of your g/f and enjoy life. Life is too short to worry and stress too much.

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ginnyp

Also, you don't have to worry too much about infecting yourself in other places because this has been going on long enough that if it is herpes you already have the antibodies. So it is much harder to spread to other parts of the body once you have them built up.

Unfortunately it is possible that you have spread it to your girl so she definitely will need to be tested if you are positive.

On the bright side, lots of couples deal with this, they just don't talk about it. There are lots of positive couples AND lots of couples where only one is positive (like mine). My bf is negative. It was hard at first, but we struggled through the fear and emotions and we have been together over a year now. I only found out one month after starting to date him.

So if you guys are in love, if things are really good, it shouldn't end because of this virus. :)

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daisydew

It sounds like you have a great girl, and hopefully she will take this news well. Just be really straight-forward with her. I was with my boyfriend for 9 months before I got my initial outbreak..he didn't know he had it. Neither of us has cheated on each other sometimes the symptoms are just so minor that people don't notice them. Try to look at this in a positive light. It will give you the chance to be really open about your relationship and feelings. In some ways, I think it's strengthened my bond with my boyfriend because I've been able to have such straightforward honest conversation about our feelings.

Try not to get down on yourself. You did nothing wrong, and no one deserves to get herpes. I felt sort of the same way. I have never been promiscuous, but I've ended up with 2 incurable STDs. I've only had 3 sexual partners and they were all long-term boyfriends. Unfortunately, STDs have the stereotype that you have to be promiscuous to get them. So not true! I've realized that it's not my fault. I'm sure you'll get to that point too.

I know how you feel about feeling like you're going to spread it all over your body. That feeling goes away once you've taken some time to really let your diagnosis "digest"...lol I mean that once you've had some time to think about your diagnosis and come to terms with it you will feel better. As ginnyp said, your body has built up some antibodies and the odds of you spreading it to other parts of your body are low. Just practice normal good hygiene!

When you first get diagnosed the shock can be a little overwhelming, but I promise that it gets better! Try to look at it as an opportunity to take good care of your body and get lots of rest!

Nice to meet you : )

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RckClmbr

thanks everyone

To Everyone who wrote in response to my blog. Thank you so much. I still don't know if I'm positive or not, I'll have to wait until tuesday for confirmation. I don't really know what else to say. Just thanks for responding, I feel a bit better... but still mostly horrified. I think that this weekend will be a long one. As said prior, you all are in my prayers.

RC

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RckClmbr

long time...

Positive.... been so since december.... I didn't get on the site because I was busy cursing God with pretty much every blasphemous saying I could think of. In the last few months I've come to terms with it... "forgiven" God for this affliction and began to think about this in a more positive light. I don't know how I caught it... I was always really responsible when it came to sex and whatnot... but... I caught it.

I'm still with my girl, and just like you all said, she's not really all that effected by it. She said: "If you have it, than I probably do to... so it'd be pretty stupid of me to throw away this relationship over this." She's a keeper.

To anyone that reads this, please let me know of any other newbie so that I can help them out.

Thanks

RC

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britecyde

Unlucky, rcky. I think herpes is one of those diseases you assume you won't get if you're careful. I caught it wearing while I was wearing a condom.

Anyway, there are legions of newbies arriving every day that could do with your support and advice. It's good to hear you and your girlfriend have come to terms with it so quickly.

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