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disturbed :(

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Hello. I recently learned that I may have herpes. I got a blood test done and my GYN told me to come back in a couple days after the results came back and I show the s/s so I am pretty sure it was positive..I am preparing for the worst. I am just so mad at myself..I recently lost my virginity; so it is not like I sleep around, and he told me he was free of STDs...and I can't talk to anyone about it because noone knows I lost my virginity and and I have the type of fam. that would be highly dissapointed since I was not with the guy "long enough." So right now I am feeling very angry at myself and him..very confused and alone....and I wonder why we dont speak about STDs more openly for prevention purposes...

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I'm sorry about how you're feeling. It's very possible he didn't know he had herpes. Many of us don't have symptoms that make us recognize it. Some people have no symptoms, others have a pimple and never realize something is wrong. MOst people with herpes don't realize they have it, and when we go to get tested for stds, herpes is not usually included unless we specifically ask for it. So when he said he was free of stds, had may have truly thought that.

There is not enough education about stds out there. Most people know nothing about herpes, and most people don't even know HPV (a virus that causes cancer or genital warts) exists. And HPV is the most common std out there. Since most people don't get symptoms and their body fights the infection on its own, they never find out they have it. Most people who have sex will have some form of hpv at some point in their lives.

So why isn't it being brought up and why aren't we educated? Good question.

You will feel better soon, promise. :)

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thank you for such a quick reply. I just keep wondering will it get better...I have had the s/s for 3 months now..is that normal? It started out as a UTI, so I took ABs and and had allergic reactions to two, which made me feel even worse. (Overall took 5 different ABs...a lot, I know) Then I was tested positive for mono (thinking maybe it flared up due to the reactions, cuz i had it as a teenager) Then went to the health dept. and they said I had BV (reason for the continuation for ABs).....I am a VERY health conscious person and never take ABs so I am hoping it was just a shock to my body...... or could there be a different more serious underlying issue? Also I am i very stressed out person...i stress about my health very easily..:/ which I know doesn't help if it's herpes....Plus, how do i tell this guy if it is herpes? There is so much going on in my head right now.

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Just take one thing at a time...

The worst thing you are suffering now is all that stress...please try and relax. Get some fresh air, some exercise, take a hot shower, listen to a guided meditation or relaxation tape. Do what you need to do to be as healthy as you can and to feel better. If you do have herpes, the stress will make it worse.

1st thing...before you start thinking of all the bad possibilities, find out for sure if you have herpes. All this worry may be for nothing. Get a swab test and a blood test (the blood test must be done 3 months after exposure so you might have to be patient about this--but do it). Make sure you have herpes and make sure you know what kind you have.

2nd thing...if you have it...you can either decide to have a quiet, straightforward adult talk with the guy. "I was just diagnosed with herpes (1 or 2) and I think you need to know about it since you are the only person with whom I have ever had sexual relations. It would be best if you saw a doctor and got tested. Many people have no symptoms. I am telling you this because I care about you and I am concerned about your health. This is a medical situation and so it's not about blame or shame. I thought you needed to know. Please take care of yourself." If saying it in person is too hard, try and email or snail mail letter.

If saying it or emailing is too hard, try an anonymous email. If you go to the right of this post, you will see all of the this board's menu and under the heading Life and Love, click on Do It Anonymously.

But, first, make sure you really do have it. The blood test will tell you what you need to know. Since you have had allergic reactions to medications, you might consider using only natural methods to deal with herpes if you have herpes. Many of us do not use meds or we only use the meds when we absolutely have to. I take lysine, vitamin c and ginseng and find that they help quite a bit to prevent outbreaks. I use Dynamaclear on the outbreak at the height of the outbreak and I find that this helps it heal faster and also seems to prevent some outbreaks. If I have a very bad outbreak (maybe once a year), I take Valtrex. The medication Accyclovir is exactly the same as Valtrex but you have to take more pills so I like the Valtrex.

You can keep this from your family quite easily if you want to. You are not required to tell your personal medical information to anyone. I would recommend that you think carefully before you decide to tell anyone about it and if you do, it should be for positive reasons, that is, because that person would offer good support and help, not just because you feel it is hard to keep the "secret." Do not think of this as a secret, it's just personal, private medical information and your own business.

If you do have to take Valtrex or some other anti-viral med, and you are on your parents insurance plan, ask the doctor to keep your diagnosis to him or herself. Tell the doctor that you want and expect the same level of privacy as an adult. You have that right. If your parents see you taking a medication, or if something appears on their insurance bill, then tell them that you are taking anti-viral meds to manage a cold sore. Remember, the same virus that causes genital herpes also causes cold sores, and cold sores are very, very common (80% of the populations has had them). That gives you a cover story if you need one.

Meanwhile, remember, you don't know for sure yet until you get the blood test done. And if you do have it, you can live with it just like millions of other people do. The first outbreak is the worst. Then it gets much better with time, both physically and psychologically.

I believe that there will be better meds for this in a few years and that will help. Also, many people believe there will be a vaccine one of these years and when that happens, anyone will be able to avoid catching herpes so the social stigma will evaporate at that point.

You have every reason to be hopeful about all aspects of this. Just take it one step at a time. You CAN cope. Please relax as much as possible, OK? And we hope you feel better very soon.

Post again and let us know how it's going.

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wow! Thank you for those suggestions, very helpful. Okay, so, I am positive for HSV1...she said the test is positive with a 0.9, and mine is a 3.3...so it's pretty high. I have never had a fever blister though...and it doesn't really explain much. So, if I recieved oral sex from a guy that had type 1 can it become type 2 on me....or does it stay type 1 and will i get outbreaks of type 1 on my genitals?? It's so confusing.

Also, she prescribed me valtrex...I know I should have asked for the cheaper one but i forgot :/....to take for a month. So, should I just take it this one time and see if it helps, or should I get a second opinion first? Because here's the thing....I have burning with urination, after I last had intercourse (and oral sex) my labia became red, itchy and tingly for a couple of days (but no outbreaks, and now gone)...but I still have the discomfort, vaginal pain and burning with urination. She said on my last pap that my cervix was friable and easily bled and that's where most of the pain is (probably the reason it hurts worse when i sit, like when studying for a long time).....could herpes cause that?She didn't really answer all of my questions...I felt like she was blowing me off...and I am not asking for professional advice since we are not professionals, but I was just hoping for some personal experience, maybe someone is familiar with these symtoms.

Also, this is kind of personal, but we're all adults...my discharge is different....it's not like it used to be where it was like actual discharge...now it appears like stains and it is more dry and crusts on my underwear in streaks....no color change though. If someone has answers or suggestions, please help!! Thanks

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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