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Aseyan

What do you think?

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Aseyan

Hi Everyone,

I'm just wondering some opinions about telling a partner that you're positive. I was recently (2mo) diagnosed with GH and I've been on 3 very great dates with a gentleman. He's had some hard times in his life and has some baggage in addition to being a no-BS kinda guy. I feel it would be unfair to really wait to tell him, but i have a hard time justifying having the talk so very early in the relationship.

Can anyone give me a piece advise about how to know when is the right time? I dont want to hurt him by waiting but I dont want to jump the gun with it either (if that's possible).

Thank you all in advance!

--Ase

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Groovy

My 2 cents:

Get to know each other first. Herpes is a very small part of who you are as a person (despite the fact that to you it may be a big deal). Figure out if there's some potential love brewing there. That's what people really care about. Then the herpes thing may not be an issue at all.

Don't take the chance of depriving yourself, or him, of finding love because you decide to pull your skeletons out of the closet to early.

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Morning

I choose to talk about my HSV when we're having a discussion about sexual history/last STD tests. I think that when things have moved in a direction of putting your history on the table, then it's time to talk about HSV. I don't think you have to feel like you are putting him through anything by waiting to let him know because this is only a part of who you are. He is learning lots about you as you two continue to date and other things he will learn with time. As long as the conversation happens before intimacy.

Morning

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positive

my experience

Recently I started dating someone in fact it was just over a month. At the month mark I decided to have the talk. It was a rough night to say the least but he said to me that he was glad I waiting because he might have walked but now that we've had a chance to get to know each other he said he can't walk away.

I was so worried that i was waiting too long but after thinking about it I'm like doesn't anyone take any freakn' time to get to know each other. Is it so horrible to spend time with someone before you get physical and completly familiar with them. It's weird we all get into relationships so quickly now a days.

I say invest some time. You'll know when the time is right. I waiting and like I said it was a rough night. He cried. We cried and I've never felt more loved and closer to anyone in my life. Just remember with great risk comes great reward!

Good luck

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SkiMan
My 2 cents:

Get to know each other first. Herpes is a very small part of who you are as a person (despite the fact that to you it may be a big deal). Figure out if there's some potential love brewing there. That's what people really care about. Then the herpes thing may not be an issue at all.

Don't take the chance of depriving yourself, or him, of finding love because you decide to pull your skeletons out of the closet to early.

What he said! Ditto.

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Aseyan

I think that it may just come down to the person. With someone else I probably would have waited at least a month to see how things were going and to really get to know the person. This gentleman and I have gotten very close rather quickly, in addition to he's been burnt by finding out information like this later on in the relationship. I know it was very early but I did talk to him about it. He was kinda funny about it, but it didnt seem to concern him and things havent changed. With him, he really appreciated knowing right away, but I think all of you have valid points for waiting.

I guess it comes down to the person.

Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it!

Ase

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Ultra Violet

Totally agree Ayesan.

In Australia no one "dates" so waiting is hard. It's really not part of the Aussie culture. I've discussed this with Americans over here who find the Aussie way of hooking up and (as Americans say) "becoming exclusive" almost immediately very strange. If you suggest not being exclusive and taking time then guys get the impression you aren't that interested and get hurt. It's also very common to have sex very quickly; the third date has a LOT of expectation carried with it.

Therefore I've taken the approach of telling fairly quickly and so far so good.

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