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Early prevention if exposed??


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I was finally getting over all of this herpes stuff- I thought i had it, just w/ no sores and thats why none of the gynos could find out what the problem was. Then one gave me a blood test, herpeselect elisa - hsv 1 and 2 neg, no igm or iggs detected, and this was at least 3 months after any possible exposure. i was so relieved, so happy, for 2 weeks exactly. My younger sister's prom was on friday - went w/ my whole family to take pics, ect. I get to her best friends house and the father walks up and plants a huge kiss on my cheek - and i look up and there is this cold sore staring back at me! It looked almost black, nearly the size of a dime - like a dried out blister at the edge of his lip. He's middle eastern so he has fairly dark skin and i keep trying to tell myself maybe it was a mole, maybe he cut himself shaving- but after being so paraniod before i did so much research and i pretty much know what they look like, ive seen blackish ones on the web. My question is - if i was exposed, is there anything i can do before my first outbreak to prevent my body from getting this virus? i already have exzema on my lips, i deal w/ that, its not contagious. Also, my dermotologist told me it only attaches to a mucus membrane or a cut in the skin - i was also told that my the std hotline - but the first sentence in richards article is that thats the biggest myth about herpes - its through direct skin to skin contact and even if my cheek was completely intact, i can still get it that way. I hate this virus, i was finally fealing better, now this. Any ideas about early prevention or how its transmitted? and w/ my atopic dermotitis (exzema) i read it can be life threatening. I want to call this man up and just ask him what that was - but my sister would kill me and i know myself thats crazy, but now i am going to live in hell (my choice, i just cant handle germs in general and an incurable virus is my worst nightmare :( ) So thats all - any ideas let me know, thanks.

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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