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speaktru

Holiday Parties & Herpes

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speaktru

I guess im just noticing now and its probably bound to happen again.. that when ppl come together herpes always seems to come up as some sort of joke. or just STDs in general....I was at the end of year celebration that my program has after finals and me and some of the ppl from the program were sitting in the bar just talking and having a good time... and then herpes came up.... ..... I was just like great, ruin my night... they started talking about "herpes infested people" i really felt like i should of defended myself and everyone else that i have become acquainted with on here... i was so upset inside.... but instead of speaking up .. i was a coward and i didnt say anything. i just sipped on my glass of merlot and kept quiet. i felt so embarrassed and ashamed of who i was. everyone was like cracking up and making fun of ppl w/ herpes and how disgusting it was and then this one guy was like man girls that have hsv2 must really stink down there (which is not true). i'm like great if anyone in my class ever finds out that i have this i'm going to be the laughing stock of my program. .... so that was my first holiday party of my graduate program..........wonderful. -__-

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canadian chick

ive been there many times. and like you i never say a word. i wish i could jsut speak up sometimes and say...look...1 in 5 ppl have it...you could have it and not even know it..so shut the hell up lol...

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scared_little_girl

I totally understand where you are coming from. When my boyfriend and I got out, his boss and all his friends totally trash on people with HSV!! Usually there are about 5 of us in a room. But, I just sit and think..... well if he only knew that 3 of of 5 of us have it standing in this room!!! He would maybe be alittle calmer and think about what he says. He always says that his life would end if he got it, but little to his little brain does he know that the girl he had the hots for has it!! She just don't want to tell him. Just remember to laugh at what everyone says, and remember that not one person on this board, or out in this world ask for HSV. I know I didn't walk up to my partner and say hey, I heard you got HSV and I want some. LOL!! But, I have been a lucky one, since my first O.B. May 14th, 2008 I have yet to get another. Its been a quiet almost 8 months, and because I have a major case of the fuck its. I think that is what is keeping me from breaking out again. Remember to keep your head up, no one knows and no one will know unless you speak out. Do what you feel is right and laugh at the stupid A**hats!! Stupid people are really funny!

Good Luck,

Scared_little_girl

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canadian chick
I totally understand where you are coming from. When my boyfriend and I got out, his boss and all his friends totally trash on people with HSV!! Usually there are about 5 of us in a room. But, I just sit and think..... well if he only knew that 3 of of 5 of us have it standing in this room!!! He would maybe be alittle calmer and think about what he says. He always says that his life would end if he got it, but little to his little brain does he know that the girl he had the hots for has it!! She just don't want to tell him. Just remember to laugh at what everyone says, and remember that not one person on this board, or out in this world ask for HSV. I know I didn't walk up to my partner and say hey, I heard you got HSV and I want some. LOL!! But, I have been a lucky one, since my first O.B. May 14th, 2008 I have yet to get another. Its been a quiet almost 8 months, and because I have a major case of the fuck its. I think that is what is keeping me from breaking out again. Remember to keep your head up, no one knows and no one will know unless you speak out. Do what you feel is right and laugh at the stupid A**hats!! Stupid people are really funny!

Good Luck,

Scared_little_girl

you have a realy great attitude about the whole thing! when i was first diagnosed i thought id never find a man to love me...well...im married now to a handsome awesome guy and hes known from day one that i had it...HERPES POWER! lol jk

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scared_little_girl

oh forgot to mention, when there are 5 of us in the room, the 3 that have it would be me, my hubby, and my sister...lmfao!! The only ones that don't would be him and his flavor of the week. But you never know it could be 4/5 hahahaha.

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gotitsowhat

I don't think this should pass without comment

Sorry, I don't think the stigma that has brought so much pain so unjustly to so many should be able to provide stupid low level humor for ignorant people. It's just not that funny (unless they have a herpes joke that is actually funny in and of itself, not just meanspirited). I would comment.

Here's why I would speak up: If so many people have it, you can bet that this kind of unkind ignorant humor is hurting other people in that room. It's just that no one has the nerve to speak up.

So speak up. You do not have to admit you have it if you do not want to. I know that in some social environments, the social stigma around herpes is very strong. I know that it can ruin your reputation in some offices and in some neighborhoods. I don't expect you to subject yourself to this unless you really want to.

Though I do think it would be a good shock to these idiots if someone had the guts to say, "I have it. And I'm not dirty. And neither are the other one in four women who have it." Then looks them in the eye until they are the first to drop their gaze.

But, yeah, I do very well understand that it is not practical for many of you to do that so I don't really expect it but...

You can say, "Hey! Stop it! I have a cousin who got this miserable virus from a cheating boyfriend and he was her first. She's still so sad she wants to kill herself. She's just a sweet little fifteen year old kid and she wants to die. One in five women have this. There could be people in this room who have it but they're scared to speak up. Cut out this crap! I don't want to hear it." And then, if they don't fall silent or apologize, just leave.

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