Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
speaktru

Holiday Parties & Herpes

Recommended Posts

speaktru

I guess im just noticing now and its probably bound to happen again.. that when ppl come together herpes always seems to come up as some sort of joke. or just STDs in general....I was at the end of year celebration that my program has after finals and me and some of the ppl from the program were sitting in the bar just talking and having a good time... and then herpes came up.... ..... I was just like great, ruin my night... they started talking about "herpes infested people" i really felt like i should of defended myself and everyone else that i have become acquainted with on here... i was so upset inside.... but instead of speaking up .. i was a coward and i didnt say anything. i just sipped on my glass of merlot and kept quiet. i felt so embarrassed and ashamed of who i was. everyone was like cracking up and making fun of ppl w/ herpes and how disgusting it was and then this one guy was like man girls that have hsv2 must really stink down there (which is not true). i'm like great if anyone in my class ever finds out that i have this i'm going to be the laughing stock of my program. .... so that was my first holiday party of my graduate program..........wonderful. -__-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
canadian chick

ive been there many times. and like you i never say a word. i wish i could jsut speak up sometimes and say...look...1 in 5 ppl have it...you could have it and not even know it..so shut the hell up lol...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
scared_little_girl

I totally understand where you are coming from. When my boyfriend and I got out, his boss and all his friends totally trash on people with HSV!! Usually there are about 5 of us in a room. But, I just sit and think..... well if he only knew that 3 of of 5 of us have it standing in this room!!! He would maybe be alittle calmer and think about what he says. He always says that his life would end if he got it, but little to his little brain does he know that the girl he had the hots for has it!! She just don't want to tell him. Just remember to laugh at what everyone says, and remember that not one person on this board, or out in this world ask for HSV. I know I didn't walk up to my partner and say hey, I heard you got HSV and I want some. LOL!! But, I have been a lucky one, since my first O.B. May 14th, 2008 I have yet to get another. Its been a quiet almost 8 months, and because I have a major case of the fuck its. I think that is what is keeping me from breaking out again. Remember to keep your head up, no one knows and no one will know unless you speak out. Do what you feel is right and laugh at the stupid A**hats!! Stupid people are really funny!

Good Luck,

Scared_little_girl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
canadian chick
I totally understand where you are coming from. When my boyfriend and I got out, his boss and all his friends totally trash on people with HSV!! Usually there are about 5 of us in a room. But, I just sit and think..... well if he only knew that 3 of of 5 of us have it standing in this room!!! He would maybe be alittle calmer and think about what he says. He always says that his life would end if he got it, but little to his little brain does he know that the girl he had the hots for has it!! She just don't want to tell him. Just remember to laugh at what everyone says, and remember that not one person on this board, or out in this world ask for HSV. I know I didn't walk up to my partner and say hey, I heard you got HSV and I want some. LOL!! But, I have been a lucky one, since my first O.B. May 14th, 2008 I have yet to get another. Its been a quiet almost 8 months, and because I have a major case of the fuck its. I think that is what is keeping me from breaking out again. Remember to keep your head up, no one knows and no one will know unless you speak out. Do what you feel is right and laugh at the stupid A**hats!! Stupid people are really funny!

Good Luck,

Scared_little_girl

you have a realy great attitude about the whole thing! when i was first diagnosed i thought id never find a man to love me...well...im married now to a handsome awesome guy and hes known from day one that i had it...HERPES POWER! lol jk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
scared_little_girl

oh forgot to mention, when there are 5 of us in the room, the 3 that have it would be me, my hubby, and my sister...lmfao!! The only ones that don't would be him and his flavor of the week. But you never know it could be 4/5 hahahaha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gotitsowhat

I don't think this should pass without comment

Sorry, I don't think the stigma that has brought so much pain so unjustly to so many should be able to provide stupid low level humor for ignorant people. It's just not that funny (unless they have a herpes joke that is actually funny in and of itself, not just meanspirited). I would comment.

Here's why I would speak up: If so many people have it, you can bet that this kind of unkind ignorant humor is hurting other people in that room. It's just that no one has the nerve to speak up.

So speak up. You do not have to admit you have it if you do not want to. I know that in some social environments, the social stigma around herpes is very strong. I know that it can ruin your reputation in some offices and in some neighborhoods. I don't expect you to subject yourself to this unless you really want to.

Though I do think it would be a good shock to these idiots if someone had the guts to say, "I have it. And I'm not dirty. And neither are the other one in four women who have it." Then looks them in the eye until they are the first to drop their gaze.

But, yeah, I do very well understand that it is not practical for many of you to do that so I don't really expect it but...

You can say, "Hey! Stop it! I have a cousin who got this miserable virus from a cheating boyfriend and he was her first. She's still so sad she wants to kill herself. She's just a sweet little fifteen year old kid and she wants to die. One in five women have this. There could be people in this room who have it but they're scared to speak up. Cut out this crap! I don't want to hear it." And then, if they don't fall silent or apologize, just leave.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,741
    • Total Posts
      470,272
  • Posts

    • BioHacker
      Meds and condoms is really all you need. Statistically, HSV2 is so widespread because 80-90% of  people who have it are unaware that they have it, and so they don't take all recommended precautions (including using condoms). Oddly enough, if you were to replace your HSV2+ girlfriend (aware of HSV status, using condoms, using suppressive meds) with the average American woman (unaware of HSV status, but 25% risk, which is average - and using condoms at all times, since presumably you could insist on it), you would actually NOT reduce your risk of HSV2. The statistical risk would be approximately the same for both theoretical girlfriends (about 0.7% per year assuming sex 2x per week). That is a bit simplistic, because maybe you could decide to date only women who are verified virgins (essentially no risk), or maybe "below average risk" in some way (younger than average, fewer prior partners than average, etc.), or you could have all prospective girlfriends IgG blood tested for HSV as a condition to dating them (or having sex with them), which would reduce the risk significantly (especially if you confirmed the paperwork), but not completely (since antibodies take some time to develop). At some point, beyond-standard precautions become inconvenient and not worth the hassle (or risk of being perceived as paranoid). The risk isn't zero, and probably would never be zero, short of taking extreme measures. Efforts to reduce risk beyond standard practices, which already reduce risk to relatively low levels, are naturally subject to the law of diminishing returns. Accepting some level of risk is (unfortunately) part of the deal in most reasonable endeavors. Also, there is statistically a greater likelihood of two people passing HPV between them one way or the other, than HSV2 (assuming all recommended precautions are being taken). Of course, you could get the HPV vaccine (everyone should!). But the vaccine only covers 10-15% of the types of HPV that are out there. And tests for HPV are imperfect, and generally not available for males. And HPV (some types) can cause cancer (cervical, penile, and throat - maybe others). So, keep that in mind as well. And then, of course, there are all the other risks . . . Best not to be paranoid though . . .
    • WilsoInAus
      That’s correct. HIV is a distinct virus. No virus morphs into another one.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @thebrightsidegirl I hope you’re going ok, I’ve read your posts and will see if I can draw some threads. I see that you have genital HSV-1 and your partner has oral HSV-1. I’m not sure if he has tested but given it’s somcommon there’s no reason to disbelieve that’s what he has. This is the best concirdant scenario you can hope for in a sexual relationship. You both already have the virus and your immune systems are established and your experience with herpes is your own. You cannot induce an outbreak in each other by virtue your own HSV-1 and transmission to a new location on your partner is too small to worry about. If HSV-2 is present, then it needs to be brought to the relationship. It’s not at all likely you have it given you were infected genitally with HSV-1.  I suggest these symptoms are very unlikely to be related to herpes at all. If they are, then it’s far more likely to be a recurrent outbreak issue with your HSV-1 as opposed to an initial infection with HSV-2. 
    • hopeing
      Ozone is basically toxic to humans at high levels. Its probably as likely to kill your cells as the virus. Add to that the virus is not in the blood and I'd say this 'treatment' is probably totally ineffective and if it does include high levels of real ozone likely dangerous. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozone_therapy
    • thebrightsidegirl
      Hey Wilson , do you kids answering this , i was kind of worried too ? 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.